Confusing Musings

2008-12-01T17:24:00.005+05:30

I wish I could roll back the complete tragic events which happened in Mumbai, but even if I am given the power to do that partially, I will change the guest list at the Taj and Oberoi.

Here is it. Please pardon my perversion.

1. Raj Thackray and others from his clan.
2. Arundhati Roy.
3. Amar Singh and Mulayam Singh.
4. The complete Left Front.
5. Mayawati.
6. Lalu Prasad and his brothers-in-law.
7. Shivraj Patil, Vilas Rao Deshmukh and RR Patil.
8. Teesta Setlvad, Farukh Sheikh, Shabana Azmi and Mahesh Bhatt.
9. Nominees invited.

Please do send yours as well.

Delhi Boy

2008-09-11T12:41:00.007+05:30

Shahrukh Khan is in trouble. He calls himself a Delhi boy, which he duly is, but Bal Thackray insists now he is not because Mumbai has given him wealth and fame. Though at the same time, he also insists that Sonia Gandhi is still an Italian, a Videshi.

Shahrukh must be disoriented by now about his existence. Myself sailing on the same damn boat. Join the notorious club. Who knows, someone might club us all.

I repeat, Bal Thackray insists since it is Mumbai and Maharashtra which has given him wealth and fame so why does he harp about being a Delhi boy.

As if, as soon as he touched Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, or shall I say Bhusawal, almost magically, someone started giving him all his wealth - to make him rich, and concurrently, someone else (or the same guy perhaps) started calling his name on AIR, to make him famous.

Applying the theory of mathematical induction (though I never came across a bigger fraudulent theory), every one making money or name in Maharashtra started doing in the same manner. Well, not every body, though. Some of them were beaten black and blue right on landing at the Kalyan & Kurla station. However, rest get it for free, by almost doing nothing.

It may also be that all the movie audience of Shahrukh Khan is from Mumbai and Maharashtra only. Rest of India and world are not counted. It is already known that he dances at the ceremonies of Netas to earn quick bucks. So this settles it.

Mahindra and Mahindra, Telco, Bajaj sell all their vehicles only in Mumbai and rest of Maharashtra. So those workers who come here and work should also pay their homage and respect for their bread and butter, and to their very existence, only to Maharashtra.

Had there been no Maharashtra, who would have created these vehicles and much worse, who would have bought them, isn't it ? Anyway it is not their work which is bringing them money. They are being paid only for the fact that they have entered Maharashtra.

It is God's will that they were born to move into Maharashtra in future. Was this not tobe, may be God would have cancelled the order. That's why, my dear Shahrukh, you ain't no Delhi boy. You were desitined to come here, and that's why you were concieved (or else it would have been someone else in your place). You are now Mee-Mumbai-Maharashtra boy.

Now let us all say in chorus - Jai Maharashtra!

The Percentile

2008-08-27T09:53:00.002+05:30

Outside Maharashtra, not many would be knowing that education ministry of the state has come up with an idea of reserving more seats (yes, one more reservation) in the colleges and junior colleges for the students passing from Maharashtra Board.

The convoluted logic is that since ICSE and CBSE are follow percentile system, students form these board have an undue advantage over the Maharashtra board students during admissions. Mercifully, someone filed a court petition and there is a deadlock in Bombay High court.

Here are my two cents on this.

True, students get marks in abundance in ICSE and CBSE, and they do follow in percentile system. However, students from Maharashtra Board, even without percentile system, get no less marks.

In fact, I remember, when I was applying for Agarwal Correspondence Studies for JEE, they had this cut-off system for the applicants. The average for PCM (Physics, Chemistry, Math) for ICSE and CBSE was 85%, while that of Maharashtra Board and Kerala Board was 92%.

Now coming to the quality of curriculum and exams.

My sister completed her Intermediate (XI-XII) from Maharashtra Board. For e.g. in English Literature, she had the chapters like Sambhaji Maharaj and poems like Abu Ben Adham in her class XI. I had studied the same poem in my class V in 1986, while she did the same in her class XI in 2001.

Apart from that, in 1993-1994, when I was doing my Intermediate (XI-XII) from ICSE, we had novel Macbeth, A collected short story book having stories from authors like Graham Greene, Jerome K Jerome, Jack London, O Henry, Roald Dahl, Ruskin Bond and standalone poem book called Panorama.

Not only this, we had the novel Julius Caesar in IX & X, and Merchant of Venice in VIII apart from other books.

Comparison to this, Maharashtra Board had just one book for English Literature, and that too very elementary. So was true for all other subjects.

In fact, my sis didn't get an admission for B.Com in Lucknow University and Awadh Girls because they said that Maharashtra Board's SSC level commerce is too elementary.

She was an average student in CBSE student till class X, and she turned out a topper from her school with Maharashtra Board.

In terms of exam as well, one would never find any repeated question in ICSE or ISC exams. In fact, I remember, my both ICSE and ISC exams were quite a revelation in terms paper setting. They were very very tricky!

Also, in Maharshtra Board class X and class XII board exams, nothing of class IX and class XI would be asked. This was not there in ICSE and ISC.

Last but least, the board and schools made sure that there was absolutely no cheating !

In fact, most of my friends and colleagues from Maharashtra Board accept this fact. They say that it is their schools which lift the students otherwise the board has failed to move on with time.

Somebody should tell this to education ministry. Hope the courts will.

Nano-Baiter

2008-08-26T12:54:00.003+05:30

Nano appears to be up for grabs and there seem to be many suitors. Chief Ministers have already started building castles and factory in the air. But at least, one can appreciate these suitors and their castles.

There are some like Shivraj Singh Chauhan of Madhya Pradesh who are busy doing Havan Pujan, while for others like Mayawati all Tatas & Birlas are rolled into one in now 1000 crore Ambedkar Park.

They don't have time or interest for even a customary press release for inviting Ratan Tata. They might not even be knowing, who knows. Not that Tata would have come.

The World Class Athelete

2008-08-20T10:02:00.002+05:30

It was only five months back that Anju Bobby George had belittled PT Usha stating she and Milkha Singh were not world class atheletes.

The underlying suggestion was that since she had won a bronze medal in a world championship event, she automatically becomes one, though it hardly matters to her that she virtually did nothing before or after that.

Now the same self proclaimed "world class" athelete couldn't even make single valid jump in all her attempts at the Olympic.

What goes around comes around.

Oh My GO(L)D !

2008-08-11T10:18:00.006+05:30

Yes, Bindra, you beauty, you did it! First ever individual gold by India !!!

Congratulations and Celebrations!

Next medal from whom ? Saina Nehwal ? Lets cheer!

23 Months

2008-07-04T12:40:00.004+05:30

A Bad Hair Day

A Good Hair Day

A Bad Hair Day - Again

Funny Bone

2008-06-17T09:56:00.003+05:30

If one sits down to ponder upon the funniest scenes ever written, we would have anthology of Golmaal, Chupke Chupke, Andaaz Apna Apna, Jaaney Bhi Do Yaaron apart from others where one would have laughed non-stop right from start till the end.

A few scenes would be more funny than the others. For instance in Golmaal there are three stand out ones - 1. The interview 2. Dina Pathak's dramatic escape from Mrs Srivastava to Mrs Sharma 3. The extended climax.

Chupke Chupke was no Golmaal, but it still was a very funny movie right from the concept, to casting. It began well, but just before the interval, it began to slag a little. However, if ever there were cameos used to perfection it was here. Amitabh Bachhan's Sukumar Sinha and Jaya Bhaduri's Vasudha brought a fresh life into the movie. The stand out scene ? I would say all the Corolla-Karela ones in second half, and Dharmendra-Omprakash Vishuddha Hindi Vartalaap in the first half.

It is hard to find a blemish in Andaaz Apnaa Apnaa - the best Santoshi flick along with Ghayal. I still remember myself laughing uncontrollably scene after scene, even if it was highly predictable, in the company of my friend Manish Mohan. I am not sure why wasn't the movie successful. Possibly it was the Pratibha curse. Those who have lived or are living in Lucknow would know.

There is a classy theatre called Pratibha, located at a premium location. However, it has some curse of sorts. It shows up only good movies, however some very decent movies have flopped over there! Probably the movie was ahead of its time.

Standout scene? Oh so many of them. In fact, all of them. Still, I would say - Aap Purush Nahin, Mahapurush Nain funda and the brilliant climax(Hey Amar, Is Mein To Goli Hi Nahin Hai, Salmaan-Shakti thumka fight), even as part of it was pinched from Victoria No 203.

Jaaney Bhi Do Yaaron is a satire. Not funny types to evoke laughter except perhaps the extraordinary expression of D'Mello corpse. Its an amazing landmark in Indian cinema. Kundan Shah is a rare talent unfortunately unable to cope up with changing time. Bad for us.

Talking about laugh riots, and how can we miss Govinda! My favourites are Deewana Mastana, and .. ahem .. Aankhein. Yes it was crude , cheesy and corny, but still the truth must be told. Against my wishes, I simply loved Aankhein. Especially, the rural Govinda - GauriShankar.

It was a laugh riot, and the favourite scene is undoubtedly when the girls bring Gaurishankar home instead of Bunnu. The part where he picks up the knife containing the apple was a killer. Also, Govinda's rendition of Chandramukhi was a never-before.

However, in my opinion, the funniest shot ever conceived, written, shot and acted is from Baby's Day Out when Baby Bink is burning the hell out of Joe Mantegna's reproductive system. Oh God, what expressions both from Baby and Joe. And the clincher came when Brian Haley 'extinguishes' it successfully with some nasty kicks, and proclaim proudly so.

But what about funny books or stories. We all laugh aloud when we see something funny, but only smile appreciatively when we read a similar one. Or is it that it is difficult to provoke as much as while reading ?

That day, while traveling to the office in the bus, imagine the shock of my neighbour when he saw me laughing uncontrollably while reading a story. In fact, I would have been rolling with laughter, had there been space to roll. It would only be fit to call it a 'fit' of laughter for I had to take a break from the reading in between because it was humanly impossible to read in that situation.

The short story is A Comedy In Capricorn by Morley Roberts.

I would reckon, undoubtedly, it is one of the most funniest stories ever written and even better than Road Dahl's Parson's Pleasure and O Henry's The Ransom Of Red Chief.

Unfortunately, you cannot find it at internet. There is a little known about the author, and more little about the story. However, you can find it at The Ruskin Bond Omnibus IV under the Laughter Omnibus. The book is double its worth with this story in it.

Money

2008-06-11T12:08:00.004+05:30

Workers Earn It
Spendthrifts Burn It

Bankers Lend It
Women Spend It

Forgers Fake It
Taxes Take It

Dying Leave It
Heirs Receive It

Thrifty Save It
Misers Crave It

Robbers Seize It
Rich Increase It

Gamblers Lose It
I Could Use It

- Richard Armour

Himadri Tung Shring Se

2008-06-06T10:04:00.002+05:30

Jaishshankar Prasad

Remember

2008-05-30T15:34:00.002+05:30

A timeless piece by Christina Rossetti which I am sure you must have already read. No harm in doing that again.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

2008-05-19T10:12:00.004+05:30

"Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

Jerome K. Jerome in Three Men in a Boat.

'Three Men in a Boat' is one of the funniest books ever written. Any self respecting book lover must have already read it. If not, time to make amends.

21 Months

2008-05-10T18:16:00.003+05:30

Ethnic

Casual

Gunda Raj

2008-05-05T12:59:00.001+05:30

Raj Thackrey is worried about the Dada-Giri of the North Indians. I will give him a little peek at our DNA.

By default, any north-indian with scruples doesn't indulge in Dada-Giri. However, for the incorrigible guttersnipes like you (either by way of birth or upbringing), we have a special method called instant gratification, when law makers fail.

In the aforementioned method, perfectly common place family folks like me turn into instant messiah of justice. What then follows is a nice little session of unceremenious, but serious public flogging. I have seen many autowallas running amok here like you and your ilk have been for a past couple of months. They too get away with all this hooliganism.

Not so in north. During your previous visit to Delhi you were just heckled by the journalists. That was comparatively sissy on their part. With kind of reputation you have gathered, do not venture next time for it will be a revelation for you. You might call that Dada-Giri, later.

Even otherwise, do not leave Mumbai. You have a protective shelter here in terms of your goons and patronising fathers. However, in north, slightly more degree of law of land exists there. When that's missing, then there is instant gratification. Anyway, your are too coward to even pretend your agression there.

Just one last point. My extravagant use of phrase "north indian" may suggest a chauvnism of your kind, but its not so. I don't have any such pride for geographical location. I love my roots, but won't hate you just because you don't share same roots.

Nana Don't Preach

2008-04-16T13:56:00.002+05:30

Bhookhein Bhajan Na Hoain Gopala
Eee Lo Apni Kanthi Mala ..

We know what does the above phrase mean : If the basic needs themselves are not fulfilled, then it is impossible to do something rosy or inspiring. However, when they do get fulfilled, we start musing upon the metaphysics of life, and turn preachy, even at the expense of others.

That day I was watching Ab Tak Chhappan. I must confess that I am not great fan of this movie. I might have sat down to watch this movie many a times, but it could never attract my attention long enough. I have never seen it completely.

We have this psychotic Nana of the yore. Nana, who is cock sure in front of his team, but humble pie before his venomneous bosses. It is this partial cock surety which doesn't allow me to believe in his character. In fact, I have more sympathy towards the character of Yashpal Sharma whom I feel behaved honestly.

But this is not about the cock surety of the Nana's character, but of the dialogue writer(Sandeep Srivastava) and the director(Shimit Amin) which bothers. There is a character called Vaishali(played by Hrishita Bhatt), who is the girl friend of Jatin Shukla (Nakul Vaid).

In a scene, Jatin Shukla tells her name to his boss Sadhu Agashe(Nana Patekar), to which latter chides the former for the supposed 'mispronunciation' - "Kya Tum North Indians").

Now we all know that in Sanskrit and Marathi, a definite stress is given to the vowels. So Vaishali is pronounced as Va-ayeee-shaalee, Gauri is like Ga-aoo-ree and Chaitanya becomes Cha-ayee-tanyaa.

When Nana Patekar says - "Kya Tum North Indians", he actually means Hindi but he doesn't know that Hindi is different. Hindi and Sanskrit may be scripturally and grammatically same but are phonetically different.

In Hindi, there is no such emphasis, and never was. Vowels are mellowed, and don't meet the consonants at a sharp angle. So Vaishali is precisely the Vaishali. Tomorrow, one might also start commenting that Bengalis should start saying Varun instead of Baurun, and Vyomkesh for Bomkesh.

My view is : Let Marathi be Marathi, Hindi be Hindi. Don't mess them with our superlative ideas because of misinformation or misconception. Its time that we see the world, and chuck away that Koop-Mandook(frog of the well) syndrome.

Idiot Box

2008-03-30T09:41:00.005+05:30

Two years back it was Himesh Reshamiya who had caught some of our imagination and subsequnetly, much of our irritation. At then, he was omnipresent, omnipotent and at times, appeared ominscient too.

Mercifully, he thought he had done enough on music and singing, at least for time being, gave himself a new life, and so to us, by moving on to the thrills of acting, and we lived to see another day - until now, that this.

I don't know if you too have observed that this time Katrina Kaif and Khali are the most visible and popular irritants of the television these days.

Former is all over the place. She is literally in every movie made and song featured. She either smiles or blushes or rolls her eyes for every type of expression and emotion. As soon as one changes the channel, it is she again or a song from Jab We Met. I don't mind the song at all.

Khali is getting either free or paid publicity these days. Primarily Star News & Aaj Tak, and Zee TV to a lesser extent, are running private home network of Khali and his family at prime time these days.

So why Khali won or lost, what became of Undertaker, where and how Khali met his wife, what role Ranjit Singh plays, and whether or not Khali's height is increasing - it is all there daily.

For tail piece, let's talk about MTV. These days it is a rarity of sorts, and a private celebration in my household, when we actually see a song in this channel. They seems to have hit road and pit these days.

Happy Holi

2008-03-23T15:12:00.003+05:30

All The World's A Stage

2008-03-20T10:10:00.002+05:30

From Shakespeare's As You Like It:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school.

And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow.

Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth.

And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part.

The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.

Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

National Shame

2008-03-15T16:15:00.005+05:30

I knew that it was only a matter time before some joker would start blaming Cricket for the debacle of Hockey.

That Government's more emphasis on Cricket, that media's too much attention towards Cricket, that sponsor's more money for the Cricket, and that public craze for this game is killing other games, apart from Hockey, of course!

What they don't know is that BCCI, like IHF, is not government controlled body. It is a private organisation. Till less than a decade ago, it was almost as bad in functioning as IHF.

Don't put moral burden on the public, they are not going to watch a bunch of pathetic losers, who don't even know where their leg is! A sport itself has to lift itself. They have to win something to attract public eyeballs. Media and sponsors are not here for charity. They ain't doing any favour to Cricket. They are here to make money. If there are no eye balls, they simply don't care.

Anyway, money doesn't improve any game. Winning, or at least passion for winning does. If that was so, why is Pakistan not doing as badly in Hockey? If that was so, why did India do so good 50 years back, when there was no money? If that was so, United States of America would excel in every sport, while Africans would have always done badly in long distance running.

Cricket was doing more badly than Hockey till 1983. In the movie Golmaal, there was a live Hockey match - not Cricket, remember? Hip Hip Hurray had Football. Not many use to watch Cricket. Why ?

Before the emergence of Sunil Gavaskar, we mostly lost. Then came Kapil Dev and World Cup victory, followed by Champions Trophy. I myself watched it as a 8 year old kid. Meanwhile, India lost miserably at Los Angles Olympics, 1984 in Hockey.

Naturally, I picked up the bat, not Hockey and so did Sachin Tendulkar. Then Reliance World Cup came to India. Why did it come to India ? Because we won the two major championships in succession. There was press coverage everywhere of the tournament. My father got interested, and with double whammy of Ramayana, we bought out first telivision set - a B&W, portable, UPTRON.

Not even then the money came to Cricket. I remember Bishon Singh Bedi once ruefully mentioning during an interview that they were paid daily allowance for the Test matches. Once they won a match in 3 days, they were not given any allowance for remaining two days! Great incentive for winning matches! Money only came with the advent of cable telivision in mid 90s.

Goverment doesn't do a great about Golf but why are we doing so well there ? Why we excelled in Snooker, Billiards, Shooting. What help did it provide to Leander, Sania and Vishwnath Anand? Do we see the pattern?

Its not about the goverment, its about us. It is about parents. The earlier we introduce a child to a sport, the greatest is the chance to find a talent. Unless people themself don't be proactive about sporting activities, and begin to respect it, we won't find champions. And why will they do so? It will happen by seeing the teams doing well - getting fame, respect and money.

Luck will play a major role by throwing out genius like it did when we had Sachin Tendulkar, Sunil Gavaskar, Kapil Dev, Prakash Padukone, Vishwanath Anand, Leander Paes etc. We need another Dhanraj Pillai and Jugraj Singh in Hockey. People will see them and get inspired. And its not only the youngsters I am talking here. There parents need to be inspired first.

Me Back!

2008-03-02T09:55:00.003+05:30

What's That?

Good Morning!

Hello Papa!

Mosquitoes Marks and Diwali

Dadi's Garden

Dadi's Sofa

To Sir, With Love

2008-02-27T17:17:00.010+05:30

Those who have seen this awesome movie, must be remembering this awesome song, sung by Lulu. Of course, if you have read the original awesome autobiographical book by E. R. Braithwaite, it is a triple whammy for you.

If you haven't heard of any - my suggestion would be to find the best route - go for the movie.

The original film poster was very funny and naughty, though. The punch line goes like this - "A story as fresh as the girls in their minis...and as cool as their teacher had to be!"

Enjoy the lyrics.

Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone,
But in my mind,
I know they will still live on and on,
But how do you thank someone,
Who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try,

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,
That would soar a thousand feet high,
To Sir, with Love

The time has come,
For closing books and long last looks must end,
And as I leave,
I know that I am leaving my best friend,
A friend who taught me right from wrong,
And weak from strong,
That's a lot to learn,
What, what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,
But I would rather you let me give my heart,
To Sir, with Love

You can listen to this song, with a wonderful slide show of the movie, over here.

I first heard of the book when I saw an excerpt of it - as a comprehension passage - in my Standard IX English text book called Bagchi Test Papers. It was the boxing scene between the teacher and the pupil. Then, I remember Hemant telling me something about it.

In a quick, related and lucky chain of events, the movie suddenly appeared on Doordarshan. It tugged my heart, and the nostaligia is so very fresh and overbearing.

The complete book I read much later. I had a lot of spare time at IIT, unlike others, you see :-) Incidentally, courtesy an offbeat movie secretary at the IIT, who took a lot of pains to search for rare classics, I could see this movie again. I would love to see it again and again. Its a collector's item. It was this secy, through him I discovered the other classics like The Scent Of A Woman, The Diary of a Hitman etc.

Sidney Portier, the lead actor looked tailor made for the job. I still remember some of the other names like Suzy Kendall, Lulu, the singer, who also played a small part, and this song was rated the top chartbuster for that year.

I am not sure if this was the effect from this movie, but respect for one of my teachers increased tremendously, roughly at the same time. I have previoulsy done a full post on her.

Easy Targets

2008-02-23T09:45:00.000+05:30

Post liberalisation and post Indira, poor Som Mittal wouldn't have imagined a day like this one.

But this is a strange country. Here, the real perpretors of the crime may not get a punishment in the end, worse still, he or she may be making laws for you, but yes when it boils down to picking out easy targets, be it for publicity or something else, you always have a Amitabh Bachhan, Sania Mirza, Narayan Murthy, Rani Mukherjee readily available.

One reason, perhaps, is the widely accepted belief that making good money for oneself is, apart from being a cause of envy, a guilt of sorts. Therefore, you are suppose to stand out for special treatement.

It was sad that those ladies in Bangalore and Pune lost dignity and life in most unfortunate manner. I, and indeed most of us, felt like killing those brutes with our bare hands. But in reality, both will escape death, after much litigation, from the same courts who charged Som Mittal.

However, the honourable Supreme Court of India took upon itself to make Som Mittal an example. Justice shall and will prevail upon him.

Taking a cue, Pune's own never-to-be-left-behind-publicity-seeker Vishwas Nagre Patil, SP - Pune Rural, has trained his guns on Azim Premzi, Wipro's chief. He has asked his department to check on the legalities involved. He was the same person who created a lot of moralisic furore against the outsiders over last years rave party.

How I wonder, why is he not telling his incompetent colleagues in Nasik to take suo moto action against Raj Thackray as well. After all, going by same logic, and even stronger so, Raj Thackray is the person responsible for the death of that unfortunate HAL employee. His 'sorry' statement can be taken as clinching evidence because it means he too feels the same.

Meanwhile, Raj Thackrey has moved court to allow him and his people start public gatherings again, which essentially means that he wants distribute more swords, beat more vendors, damage more property and kill more people.

Going by the action against Som Mittal who knows courts may grant his wish.

Or Is It Just Me ?

2008-02-20T12:58:00.000+05:30

Is there any divine conspiracy, or is it just me ? Have a look at the most interseting series of events which have happened with me for past one year.

- My electric juicer stopped functioning within 15 months of the purchase. I tried getting it fixed with all my might. Three different mechanic shops, including the company couldn't resurrect it. Each one giving the same answer: Saab Yeh Nahin Theek Ho Sakta!

- Next in line was my Philip DVD player, which was gifted to me by my dear friend Nandan 2.5 years back. It stopped functioning after 2 years and just wouldn't play. Different mechanics, this time, but same answer. Nahin ban sakta. My plain query of - Aisa Kya Ho Gaya Hai Jo Nahin Ban Sakta - earned no response.

- I recently shifted to a new rented apartment, barely 400 meters away from my previous one. So I needed to change my address for my gas connection - Bharat Gas. The concerned franchise refused to do so stating that area doesn't come under their coverage, passing the buck to another agency much farther located.

By mere chance of cross checking at my neighbourhood, I found they were serving in that building since eternity. Confronting with this new information, and reminding them of my previous action against them made them change their mind.

- This shifting also involved my informing YouTelecom, my broadband service provider. Since they have a big advertisement board, bang inside my current society, I confidently approached them for the address change. While I signed the form for my changed address, the clerk returned with termination form explaning there is no service in my society.

I elaborated in detail about the advertisement board etc, and that it is on main road etc but of no avail. Yet another lady came from inside with a changed version, that there is some signal problem there, and that they have recently terminated the services of all the customers there.

I reluctantly signed the termination letter, only to know a week later that the very flat below mine has a full and flourishing Youtele connection!

Now, even if one, for a moment, happens to agree with Raj Thackrey, then Mumbai will also start facing this Pune like situation, where service provider doesn't think twice about the customer because the business is so much in abundance, hence he or she will always earn good money.

I am really mighty frustrated.

Quotes From Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

2008-02-14T18:06:00.000+05:30

When you have eliminated the impossible, that which remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Mediocrity does not see higher than itself. But talent instantly recognizes the genius.

I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

It is not really difficult to construct a series of inferences, each dependent upon its predecessor and each simple in itself. If, after doing so, one simply knocks out all the central inferences and presents one's audience with the starting-point and the conclusion, one may produce a startling, though perhaps a meretricious, effect.

The chief proof of man's real greatness lies in his perception of his own smallness.

You see, but you do not observe.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.

2008-02-06T10:30:00.000+05:30

Much to our relief, there is no riot or rampage by Amitabh Bachhan's fans, if they exist as such. I shudder to imagine the scenario when you replace him by a Rajinikant, Chiranjeevi or late Rajkumar.

2008-02-04T12:42:00.000+05:30

Amar Singhs and Jaya Bachhans will do well to refrain from responding to Raj Thackray's verbal convulsions, because then they will serve their precise intended purpose - to provoke hatred.

These are just handful individuals who have nothing but vote polarisation in their minds. They don't really mean what they say because nobody is taking anyone's bread and butter - least of all Marathi people's bread and butter - for they are doing quite handsomely well for themself, despite of us. In fact, a common Marathi manus doesn't even thinks this way.

Raj Thackray is no common Marathi manus, though. He is a politician, whose brand of politics has always bred one propogation of hatred. He claims he is more a nationalist than a Hindu.

That's why he is so much concerned about Maharashtra, and not the country. That's why his party's name is Maharasthtra Navnirman Sena. That's why he is so concerned why Amitabh Bachhan didn't open a school in Maharashtra, being a national icon that latter is, instead of Uttar Pradesh( I learned in Geography that both the aforementioned states are in India).

Its another matter that even a greater national icon Lata Mangeshkar has mercifully escaped his wrath for opening a hospital in Pune, Maharashtra, rather than somewhere else.

Therefore, it is surely not nationalism. It is, as I mentioned earlier, vote politics.

Meanwhile, instead of mouthing counter productive rhetorics Amar Singh, Mulayam Singh, Mayawati and Lalu Prasad will serve much better to their haplsess brethen, who are getting flogged and ridiculed in every part of the country, by creating some real employment opportunities in their home states.

Happy Republic Day

2008-01-25T16:19:00.000+05:30

2008-01-25T14:10:00.000+05:30

Make no mistake, the turning point of Perth Test Match wasn't Ricky Ponting's dismissal in second innings, but rather Steve Bucknor's dismissal before that.

The Three Investigators

2008-01-11T23:02:00.000+05:30

I am often blamed for living in past, so much so, that even to the extent of ignorng the present altogether and worse, not looking to shaping up the future. In fact, more than half of my posts are about my past.

However, I take this as a compliment, and continue to be an unabashed past dreamer, so to speak. What to do, when after each passing day, my belief gets even stronger that somehow those were, indeed, the golden days of my life, where life, with all its imperfections, was perfect and that quality of life now is monotonically regressing.

In my convoluted opinion, Standard X Boards is a watershed event in our life, after which all our innocence is lost under the inexpedient rat race of careers, and expectation.

In the same light, today I am going to talk about the - The Three Investigators series novels.

One discovers them after one gets bored of Ma'm Enid Blyton's Famous Five series ( where almost till half of the book the four kids and the dog just keep doing their picnic, eating potato sandwiches, and scrambled eggs ) and before the teeny brawn of Franklin W Dixon's (which I later learnt was just a pen name) Hardy Boys series invariably gets at you, where there is a karate chop here, and a solar plexus punch there.

Might I also add, that in a ridiculous fit of desperation, I also tried a couple of Nancy Drews, which I discontinued in a great haste. This is not to say or do with male chauvinism of any sort, but just that they were just plain bad.

A gentleman called Sherlock Holmes from Baker Street, London, however was a class apart, and there is no age to discover and re-discover him. But more on him in some other post.

The Three Investigators series, which I had then erroneously assumed, was written by Alfred HitchHock, but my disappointment could not but have shown when I later learnt that it was rather written by one Roburt Arthur, who inorder to earn free publicity, used a rather convinient pen name. However, that took nothing out of these brilliantly crafted book series, in which three little boys solved some brain tickling puzzles and unravelled some real flabbergasting mysteries.

They were captained by a plump, but genius Jupiter Jones, who had won for 30 days the use of a Rolls Royce(with gold plated fittings, and an English chauffeur Worthington) after winning a local competetion. The competetion was about guessing the approximate number of stones kept in a jar, and Jupiter Jones was the closest. He was very good with measurement & calculations, and usually used long and complex sentences. He lived with his aunt Mathlida and Titius Jones, and during his free time helped them in running their junk yard.

Next one was tall and atheletic Pete Crenshaw. He was a reluctant detective, who tried to avoid trouble at any cost, but never with success. Brains were not his forte, but sense of dirction was. When ever, three investigators lost their way, Pete was the man to count upon.

Bob Andews was diminutive, studious kind, did most of the research for the team, and kept all the records. He worked part time in a library, and was rather enthusiastic for his appearance.

Together, they formed a formidable team, not to forget the sootradhar - Hector Sebastian an ex-detective-turned-writer who did the customary epilogue and prologue. He also published their stories, and usually at the end of the prologue, gived us a hint about the next oncoming mystery.

The Three investiagtors were headquarted deep inside the annals of Jupiter Jone's junykyard, deftly hidden far from the madding crowd. There were different ways of going inside it. Their motto was - We Investigate Anything! The most interesting part, however, were the puzzles. Every mystery had a riddle associated with it, and it was fun seeing it getting solved and reaching some treausre. The only thing which bothered me was that, though they were fairly young, none of the boys went to a school or college.

Aunt Mathlida was a formidable lady, with a large heart. She was present for the comic relief. When the trio were not solving a case, they were made work hard in her salvage yard, under her strict supervision. When the chauffeur - Worthington - was not around, the two Bavarian helpers of her aunt - Hans and Konrad, helped the boys around with the travelling.

Like in every one else's life, there was one grief in their life in the form of a boy called E. Skinner (aka Skinny) Norris. He was a nuisance, who cultivated deep jealousy against Jupiter. He was a thorn in their flesh, and would give them momentry setback in their pursuit of the case. Pete had reserved some really nice & nasty phrases for this character.

Another ingenius stuff I learned from these books was a funda called - Ghost To Ghost Hookup. If these kids wanted to find something - like a lost car in the town (which was called Rocky Beach, a place somewhere near Hollywood) - to locate it they would call 5 friends of theirs. Each friend will call 5 more in turn. This way they will cover the entire town in just a few hours.

I am not sure how many people remember, way late in 90s, when we used have these series of Ek Do Teen Chaar, Khel Khel Mein, there was another series which showed for a few months called - Super Six. Well it was nothing but a miserable rip off The Three Investigators.

At our school we were crazy for them. We were allowed to issue only two books per person per week but that was too less for our apetite for reading. Since these books were 160 odd pages in all, two early mornings and late nights were enough to get them through. Then we would exchange them amongst ourselves and proceed.

Unfortunately, all good things come to end, and soon all those 40 odd books were devoured.

Later in my life, when I tried re-exploring them, I found that these books have made themselves scarce from the book stores in India(at least Pune and Lucknow - the my India). In fact, I haven't seen them again at any book store since I left school, although those Enid Blytons are dutifully present in scores. The enquiry everywhere invariably provides the same answer each time - they are out of publication!

Can't be true, but everything else I said, I swear, is.

The New ICC Rules

2008-01-08T13:27:00.000+05:30

(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE .

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance) , the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING , AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY , this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team, board and media.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.

The Aussie Way

2008-01-06T21:30:00.000+05:30

The Test match - if ever one was being played - has finally ended. At the time of my penning of this post, Harbhajan's lamb is out for slaughter, and in all probabilites, as the previous experiences shows - it would surely be.

I say this because Indians have always drawn special affection from ICC Match refrees be it Mike Dennis the mennice, Jeff Crowe, Mike Procter, Ranjan Madugalle, Dennis Lindsay and many others of the yore.

Not only this, nothing will happen to the immediate careers of Steve Bucknor, and Mark Bensen. I know better of Malcom Speed than this. He is a great fan of his officials, and is infact quite possesive about them. He thinks they are the best available.

Occasionally, he fatherly chides them for not doing their job properly like he recently scolded Proctor letting off Yuvraj Singh for the dissent(for staying too long on the pitch after dimissal). Sourav Ganguly also faces trouble for banging his bat besides the pitch.

Its another matter a few of his favourite protigees like Darrel Hair have behaved with him a bit naughty some times. Its another matter still that Ricky Ponting throws his bat in disgust, and even abuses umpires regularly( he did that to an Indian umpire during last tour) and still referees look the other way.

BCCI, howeever, will do their part well. They will fret and fume, and beat the bush around, and would finally walk the dotted line - keeping on with the series. Sadly, how we miss Jagmohan nee Jaggu Dalmiya in such times. Howmuch ever babu his English might have sound due to that Marwai tinge, but he was never the one to mince his words, and would always walk the talk.

Entertaining and Hard Cricket
Ponting claims his team played "Hard" and "Entertaining" Cricket. I would agree. They appealed hard, as usual. They must have abused every Indian player, and his mother even harder. He appealed hardest even when his hand, with the ball on that hand, went hard on the ground. The entertaining part was that there was hardly any bat contact to that.

He was also very entertainingly animated over his wrong LBW decision. I reckon all this wouldn't have been necessary in the first place. Had he walked way instead of looking unlfinchingly at the umpire, or had that umpire correctly(or shall I say honestly) read that complete give away look, and given him out - he wouldn't have felt so bad about the later decision.

The Fourth Umpire
Ganguly edged, and was 'caught' by Michael Clarke. They all appealed in unision for the catch. So what, if it was caught bump! So what, if the ball was grounded immediately soon. Yet they appealed.

Ganguly waited, and so did the umpire Mike Brensen who was like the batsman - in doubt. One would have thought that he would ask Steve Bucknor or the third umpire.

Instead he asked the fourth umpire - Mr Ricky Pointing, who dutifully raised his finger like an umpire does. What kind of stupidity was this ?

I mean, if at all Brensen was going to believe players' word, and since the cheats were any way appealing as they insisted it was out, then why didn't Brensen give Ganguly out in the first place ?

Of Numbness, and Sheepishness
Ricky Ponting is passing the baton to worthy hands. Ricky Ponting is a great batsman, and a great cheat. Michael Clarke is a good batsman, but even greater cheat. When all this Ganguly drama was being enacted, the sheepish look on Clarke's face said it all. He looked like a thieve just acquitted due to lack of evidence. He knew it all.

But more intrguing was his own dismissal. Even after taking as thick-as-a-thicket edge, and being caught at the slip by Dravid, he stubbornly stood to his ground. Indian players had to shout their lungs out to get the correct decision from Bucknor, who took much lesser time to give Rahul Dravid out incorrectly.

Years ago, 2001 to be precise, Ridley Jacobs claimed stumping of Virendra Sehwag, even when the ball was not in his correct hand. Sehwag was adjudged out. Later, ICC referee took suo moto action and suspended him for the cheating. Wouldn't this nefarious behaviour of the future captain of Australia tantamounts cheating ?

Now, what may be the reason behind his not walking? Mathew Hayden offers one during the press conference. According to Hayden, Clarke waited to see umpire's finger go up. Well, if that's case, then from the next time, complete Indian team can raise their middle finger up, instead of index one, for Clarke's viewership whenever he is adjudged & allowed out.

According to me there could be two theories. One that he might be taking a chance with Bucknor for he knows anything is possible with Bucknor around. However, there is another one.

Michael Clarke has recently been cured of skin cancer. I am not sure, but with all those chemos and radios, sometimes skin may get numb at some places. Clarke might not have sensed the the ball hitting his bat. Its a long shot, but possible.

Monkey Business
In one of my previous post I have already written that Andrew Symonds is not a monkey. Australian team is requested to please change that alibi for the accusation. It shows homework not properly done.

Breaking News
As I finish this story, news has just comes in that Harbhajan has been handed 3 test match suspension. Well, Ponting must breathe easy for now onwards, he too will do some scoring.

The Perfect Kill

2008-01-02T16:40:00.000+05:30

A short story by Denis R. Soreng

It was late in the evening when I entered Howrah Station .It was teeming with office workers returning home after a typically tiring day at work. I didn't look forward to the prospect of returning home to my husband. The love between us had died years ago. Our marriage had been transformed into a dead corpse buried deep beneath a pile of painful memories. The bits and pieces of pleasure I derived from my daily existence were my only source of sustenance. My husband had accused me of being mentally deranged. But only I know better. He should have thought of a better reason than that to get rid of me.

I hauled my self into a train standing nearby. Finding a seat lying vacant I gleefully slid into it. After having exhausted myself at work securing a place to ease my legs was a welcome relief. The scene inside the train was disquieting. The train being the last one on that particular route, it wasn't long before the compartment was bursting to the full with people. They jostled and fought with each other in a desperate attempt to keep from falling off.

June is the hottest month in Kolkata; it's when the when the summers are at the peak of their torment. The sweltering heat conspired with the intolerable humidity to beat the lives out of the commuters. The stench from the garbage rotting on the rail tracks combined with the nauseating smell of human sweat to pervade the whole atmosphere. I felt like vomiting. I subconsciously swallowed the spittle that formed in my throat. In despair, I stared up at the ceiling for comfort. A solitary fan hung up there in a state of eternal rest, hideously shrouded in spider webs. I closed my eyes in a bid to rest my mind. Slowly I allowed myself to fall into a labored slumber.

When I awoke the train had traveled far into the countryside. The seat next to mine was occupied by a pretty nymphet. She had a concerned look on her face. The object of her anxiety was seated right opposite to us. He was the most loathsome, horrid specimen of mankind I had ever seen. He evidently appeared to be a village goon of some reputation. His bloodshot eyes were planted firmly on the girl. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat under his leering looks. The redness of his eyes was indicative of the fact that he had soaked himself in liquor far exceeding socially acceptable limits.

The girl's nervousness was infectious. I looked around the compartment. It was completely vacant except for the three of us. I began to grow uneasy. The girl pressed my hand and held up a piece of newspaper for my inspection. She pointed towards a front-page news report. It was on a sensational serial killer who had been haunting Kolkatans for the past couple of weeks. Six young girls had been murdered in different parts of the city. They were discovered with their throats brutally slit open. The killings had been executed with such meticulous efficiency that the murder scenes were totally devoid of any clues. The police were baffled. The report went on to draw parallels with the legendary 'Stoneman' who had terrorized Calcutta in early the 90's and whose identity was yet to be ascertained. The report was undeniably scary and chilling to the bone.

The girl had visibly paled. She motioned with her eyes indicating to me that she considered the man sitting opposite to be a prime suspect. The girl was badly scared and I must admit I was pretty worried myself. Suddenly the train slowed as it approached an oncoming station. I was contemplating the feasibility of getting off the train, well before my intended destination, when the man himself stood up. To my utter surprise and immense joy he hopped off the train as it came to a screeching halt. The girl looked at me and both of us let out a huge sigh of relief. The tension having been released, she began to giggle. I caught up with her silly laughter and soon both of us were laughing away in abandon.

With a rude jerk the train started moving. Soon it was speeding across vast open countryside at a furious pace. Her jangled nerves having been calmed, the girl had begun to doze in her seat. As I looked at her I wondered just how naïve and unsuspecting young girls can be. I slipped my hand inside my handbag and firmly gripped the kitchen knife I always carried. I felt a strange numbness in my fingers but it had to be done. Besides she had an exceedingly beautiful neck. Such a pity!

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T22:31:00.000+05:30

Happy New Year, Merri X'Mas, and Happy Diwali all rolled into one! Sorry for the longish break, but sometime it is necessary for rejuvinating the spirits!

Sarey Jahan Se Achha .... uncut

2007-10-24T12:43:00.000+05:30

By Iqbal.

The song needs no introduction. The poet doesn't either.

Racially Discriminating, It Is!

2007-10-15T11:15:00.000+05:30

I agree with Andrew Symonds, albeit partially. Its racially discriminating, but actually against us. Take, for instance, the two contrasting cases of Andrew Symonds and Mathew Hayden.

A look at Andrew Symonds, and it becomes plain that Humarey Purvaj Bandar The. With his not-so-new 'hair style' it appears that he has taken a straight walk down a tree or cave to the ground.

Anatomically, he looks like a mixed breed of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons, though I must admit neither of them were ever known to be found in Australia. But you can never be too sure of scientists. These days, they are questioning even the existence of God!

So how can you play a cricket match or for that matter any outdoor sport with a more physically superior species ? It is out an out racially discriminating!

I also agree when he says that he was surprised to see such wild celebrations after Twenty20 victory. I mean they were so many people in Mumbai, that forget his tribal caves, they were even more than the Australian population.

That's even if you add up monkeys, chimps, gorillas and orangutans found in the jungles & zoos of Australia. Ok, one may as well count his other jungle buddies like kangaroos and Gila monsters, but still numbers won't match up.

Then later there were so many good-for-nothing politicians on the stage - including Sharad Pawar - whom Aussies had shoved aside earlier in the World Cup - still none of the Indian players pushed them down from the stage. Me too was surprised. Honestly.

The cave man was also surprised by the gift and dollies offered to the winners. You can't really argue with this. I mean this is not according to the laws of jungle. Humans behave strangely, especially, the Indian ones. His tribals don't indulge in such lavishness.

In fact, he would admit, tribal laws are a bit unfair. They give less reward for victory, and punish more for losses. That's why its called jungle law, mate. He vividly remembers his chief had just given him two unpeeled bananas, and a raw thigh flash of a wild bore as the prize for his heroics in the World cup.

In contrast to that, when they had lost a match against Bangladesh in Natwest Trophy 2005, he was made to crouch on lukewarm raspberry nectar, mixed with a dead baboon's blood, after being hit 141 times on his naked backside by a fresh, but rough, bamboo branch. It stunk like a shit, and pained like a hell! In fact, it still does when he crouches to drop his daily dose of shit.

The most ironical part was that he didn't even play that match because of disciplinary action after his late night - or was it early morning - drinking binge! Now he knows that once he will be back home, he may get even worse treatment for losing against Zimbabwe in Twenty20 Cup. Laws of jungle, as I said.

All said and done, but no one can fault him for getting irritated to see Indians in every second advertisement on TV. You see, they are hardly any TV back in woods, and those there are, they only show Discovery, and Animal Planet where people either get swallowed alive by hungry crocodiles or get mortally stung by sting ray. Even the commercials in between have one animal or another. In fact, he himself had taken part in a few such ad campaigns.

Feels nice to see that animals getting due recognition in this human dominated world. But here in India, though they claim it to be the land of snakes and elephants, hardly any of them are represented in advertisements, except for that ugly dog which keeps showing for Vodafone. That's too few and far in between, and anyway, dogs these can hardly be termed as wild animals. They have almost regressed to corrupt human ways.

On the contrary, TV ads here in India are obscenely full of cricketers and movie stars. Its about time they start promoting the game in jungles, like they do back at home. Until then, viewing Indian advertisements will be the same - irritating.

Now coming to Hayden nee Haydos.

A complete contrast of Symonds. If latter is the blast from the past, then Hayden is back from the future. With a body of a tank, he looks like a advanced homeo sapience specie which will live on this mother earth 200 years from now.

He guzzles gallons of water, and is Christ fearing (hard to believe there would still be non Muslim believers by then). Usually walks down to the shot, and wields his bat like a menancing Gada.

Again, if this is not racism then what else is. The contest is not fair because they are not fit to be counted as humans.

Racism or no racism, Ian Chappel feels that if Shree Santh continues to behave like this, he will be another Shoaib Akhtar in no time. Chappel senior got it all wrong. Sree Santh never punches his own team mates, unlike Akhtar. I think, if Santh continues like this, he will be another Glen McGrath, for sure. And none of us, will mind that !

Collages

2007-10-09T13:59:00.001+05:30

God came to this Earth to destroy the sinners. Aryan has come to destroy spectacles. Three rimless already gone, and still counting.

I think either we both will shift to those economical and durable carbon frames, or get our eyes operated. It will be better than those recurring losses. Already, as Alka had predicted, things have started going out of windows.

He is already a Dhai Phutiya. Three racks in the kitchens have been cleaned to empty but still his hands, like Kanoon Ke Hanth, reach everywhere. He can open the latches and knobs. He can climb and alight the double bed and Diwan. The "Enter" key of my not-so-old Laptop has been unhooked by him. A perfectly clean room done just three minutes back looks like a mad house in no time.

Nothing is safe anywhere.

Loo is an enigma for him. He wonders what happens inside there. He is always interested, and keeps on banging the door. Twice he has locked me in. He will be pretty disappointed when he comes to know all about it.

Here a few collages.

Manorama - Six Feet Under

2007-09-28T15:50:00.001+05:30

And it stole the thunder!

Three year after Charas, I saw a movie which I can call a thriller. However, by the dint of previous experience, I was quite sure I need to see it in the opening week only, otherwise it would be a goner. And today, there is not a single show in Pune!

Desperate needs require desperate measures, and I just managed it by a whisker. Yesterday, I probably saw its last show of the country - 11 PM. I had made up my mind the day before, and as soon as I was back from office, I went to pick the ticket one hour early - though needlessly so. They were available in abundance.

The guy at the ticket counter watched me in disbelief as if saying who-is-this-idiot-watching-this-movie-at-this-hour ! Never mind!

When we reached the multiplex, there was absolutely nobody at Screen 3. Old memories of Ghatak started flooding in. Ten years back, at the Devki theater in Kanpur(which incidentally is the biggest film screen I have ever seen), I had watched that movie along with just three friends and a stray dog!

However by the time this movie started about 30-40 people had poured in.

As always, I am not writing the story here, but I must tell you, how much ever you go prepared, it is almost impossible for you to unknot each and every thread. Mystery just refuses to die, and twists out-twist themselves. I kept feeding people with my whodunit bright sparks, bungling quite often, until I shut up!

I remember a similar scenario from a Sydney Sheldon novel - The Windmills of God. Well, there is ruthless assassin in the book with pseudonym - Ariel, and of all the people I know, by far whoever has read that novel, he or she has not been able to guess the real identity of that assassin, even after open challenges before hand.

Coming back to the movie. The plot is as intriguing as it can get, and kind of reminds me of few James Hadley Chase novels I have read. Characters have a laid back earthly charm which reminds you of the people you know. Dialogues are the work of brilliance, and not one without a punch.

Then there is Rajasthan. Not the one which is shown to attract tourists with Chokhi Dhanis and Folk dances. The real mofussil Rajasthan where life refuses to move. Where people do not move in Opal Astra but brand new Honda CD 100 or battered Lambretta. And yes, not to forget those copious moustaches where could one graze a cow on.

Actors, barring Kulbhushan Kharbanda, have given top notch performance. Abhay Deol is sincere as a failed novelist, who wants to prove something. Gul Panag fairs well as a blow hot blow cold middle class homemaker. Raima Sen tries to be a seductress, but tastes only half the success.

Along with Deol, it is his Sala in the movie - Vinay Pathak as the Sub Inspector Brij Mohan who gives the comic relief in the movie - has impressed the most. He has got the best lines, and the dialogue delivery - one of the best one would have ever seen.

Kharbandha is as limited as he was as Shakaal 27 years ago. Neither that accent has gone, nor the expression.

So if you are lucky enough to have this movie still running in any of the theaters in your city, just gobble it. We need to make such movies a success. 1000 times more successful than Hey Baby.

Thank You, Dravid

2007-09-25T11:35:00.000+05:30

This post may look an opportunastic hindsight, but believe me I had planned to write this, the day Rahul Dravid resigned as the captain. But I really don't have much time left to make posts these days.

After the shameful exit at the World Cup in West Indies, when he was not sacked, I wondered what will it take for the BCCI to do that. Even after the more shameful decision to not to enforce the Follow On in England (- which in my opinion took India back by 20 years to the great Sunny (Captaincy) Days, when Gavaskar used to make abslolutely sure that India's should not be in the position to lose -), I had given hope on his sacking.

But Rahul Dravid shook daylights out of me when he resigned! This as a situation I had never imagined! As much as I respect his grit and batting skills, he turned out to be one of most uninspiring captain of the recent times at the ground & most shamelessly stubborn on at the press conferences.

First round World Cup exit was an forgone conclusion which I had predicted almost an year ago. But his sissy decision to not to enforce Follow On could have done even more serious dent to the mindset young sports person of the country. He and Sachin are legends to whom crores emulate. But cowardice is not to be emulated. And that was cowardice in no uncertain terms.

Even otherwise, every single match he captained was a live example of bad, auto pilot captaincy. He absolutely never thought out of the box. His perpetual frowns and tensed eye brows inflicted such a negative impression on the team!

I think he only could have got rid of himself, and that will be good for India in long term. It has already proved good for short term.

Kan Kan Mein Ram

2007-09-21T10:21:00.001+05:30

I am not the one to wear my religion on my sleeve. Nor would I declare a fatwa on Karunanidhi's head, not just because I can't afford to. It is my hard earned money, which deserves a better usage rather than vowing it on aging nut.

Talking about aging, Karunanidhi's hasn't shown its effects as far as number of marriages is concerned. He has married thrice - without divorcing - of which two of the wives are alive. When he is not rubbishing Hindu Gods( he dare not do it to other religions mind you), he divides his time in the houses of both wives - spending mornings at the Gopalapuram residence with Dayaluammal while moving to the house of his other wife, Rajathiammal, at CIT Nagar in Chennai in the afternoons.

Some trigamy, I should say. I think he was the inspiration for Sawan Kaumar Tak's Sautan series. There couldn't be more peaceful Sautan households than these. But is it legal? The rule says he can't hold a goverment job - leave alone the government!

Some memory loss has also been on Sonia Gandhi's part. The interim report of Justice Jain commission had indicted Karunanidhi for abetting the LTTE into Rajiv Gandhi's assasination. He had buddy relationship with late Veerappan. He was also indicted by Sarkaria commssion for corruption.

When Indian Peacekeeping Forces (IPKF) left the territorial waters of Sri Lanka to return to India, Karunanidhi boycotted the welcome ceremony, saying that their presence would jeopardize their political position with the Tamils in the state. "The humiliation was not in Sri Lanka, but in India," said Lieutenant-General A S Kalkat, the IPKF Commanding Officer.

His son - Stalin (reminds me of Joseph Stalin who got killed about 2.6 crore people) runs the TN government in proxy. Siphoned about 150 cr when he was Chennai Mayor.

His another favourite son M.K. Azhagiri accused of the murder of former DMK Minister Kiruttinan, and has also attacked Dinakaran office which killed three people.

However, if not aging then this three timing did have some effect on his memory. His parents named him - Karunanidhi. In whatever language it would be - it is another name of Ram. He has probably forgotten the meaning of his name.

I belong to the region - Awadh - where every Hindu household has Bhagwan Ram's idol. My village house has a full blown Thakurdwara - an imposing Ram-Sita-Laxman-Hanuman temple within the premises. Every nook and corner has either a Ram or Shiv temple.

When Nal & Neel were trying to create Ram Setu, and boulders were not holding on to the sea surface, Hanuman ji wrote Shree Ram, and they start floating. It was he only who proclaimed - Yahan Kan Kan Mein Ram Vypat Hain.

I have no issues for Karunanidhi being an atheist(or a Christian - I am not sure). But that does not mean he can unleash his Dravidian outrage in public. Karunanidhi - you don't deserve a Fatwa, but you do deserve Jayalalitha, which in some sense is even worse.

Yours & Yours & Yours

2007-09-21T07:37:00.000+05:30

The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours.

The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause.

For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours.

- Leo Marks

2007-09-11T12:43:00.000+05:30

By Bashir Badra

कभी यूँ भी आ मेरी आँख में कि मेरी नज़र को ख़बर न हो
मुझे एक रात नवाज़ दे, मगर उसके बाद सहर न हो

वो बड़ा रहीम-ओ-करीम है, मुझे ये सिफ़त भी अता करे
तुझे भूलने की दुआ करूँ तो मेरी दुआ में असर न हो

मेरे बाजुओं में थकी-थकी, अभी मह्व-ए-ख़्वाब है चाँदनी
न उठे सितारों की पालकी, अभी आहटों का गुज़र न हो

कभी दिन की धूप में झूम के, कभी शब के फूल को चूम के
यूँ ही साथ-साथ चलें सदा कभी ख़त्म अपना सफ़र न हो

After a Long Time

2007-09-04T13:53:00.000+05:30

Mahesh Bhatt : The Dhokha

2007-09-02T09:19:00.001+05:30

I have seen only the promos and, certainly, that's as far as I would go as far as the movie is concerned.

But promos themselves are lateral thoughts provoking.

Police officer's wife is a suicide bomber. The bombing itself killed some 20 people, and injured many more. So far so good. However, when the "suicide bomber's" dead body is shown, her face, though ashen, is as clean as a slate. Far from being badly mutilated, there is not even a trace of blood or wound!

It was then that I learned that the story writer is Mahesh Bhatt. Kudos!

Deewar

2007-08-29T09:45:00.000+05:30

(Warning: This post may hurt the religious sentiment of many people. I apologise in advance)

For the lovers of movie Deewar, there was a double treat this Sunday.

SAB TV was showing the original Deewar, while Sahara Filmy was showing the dubbed version of its Tamil remake - Thee - almost simultaneously. I wouldn't have cast a second glance at the dubbed one when suddenly I noticed - Darwaja Mai Kholoonga scene. It was then that I realised it is Deewar remake. Curiously, I hung on.

Incidentally, Amitabh's character - Vijay was played by none other than Rajinikant.

It was literally a frame by frame copy of the original. The production values were poor comparitively. While former was typically a serious film, latter was comic relief primarily because director had let Rajnikant make complete hash of the character with his antiques. He would still light his match sticks with chair handle. But then it is his style.

Interestingly, Shashi Kapoor's character Ravi is played by Suman, the actor who has played villain in Sivaji - The Boss. Rajini has also worked in other remakes of Amitabh's hits - (Billa - Don, Ram Robert Rahim - Amar Akbar Antony, Panakkaran - Laawaris, Padikkathavan - Khuddar, Velaikkaran - Namak Halal, Dharmathin Thalivan - Kasme Vaade, Mr. Bharath - Trishul).

One of my Tamil friends from Chennai told me an interesting story. When I asked him the reason behind Baba Rajini's lunatic fan following, he told me it was because Rajini's has 7th sense. I asked what was that ?

The answer - Nonsense.

Lifeless Extinct Fossiled Trites

2007-08-24T10:40:00.000+05:30

I had mentioned some while ago that if I ever have a dog as a pet, I will name it LEFT. What happens when the dog bites its master or goes mad?

Shoot it dead.

Coming to poor Ronen Sen. He was forced into a public apology after calling the lefts and opposition headless chicken. After all, he is a public servant(read MPs servant), and his job is attached to the whims and fancies of these serving idiots.

But I have no such strings. Continuing on what he said, I dare call them headless, spineless, gutless (an without going any further down) chicken, kitten, piglets, owlets, hatchlings, colts, ducklings, caterpillars, tadpoles, puppies, goslings, calves, farrows, wrigglers, spiderlings.

Now pass a privilege motion against me, and it won't serve you anything but loose motions.

Chak De India

2007-08-21T11:49:00.000+05:30

Well, till now almost every one in the blog world has either written or read a review on Chak De. So be it. Since I have seen and liked the movie, so I will do it too.

I am no Shahrukh fan, but despite myself I went ahead to see this movie because like to Vandy, to me also it had raised hopes of Prakash Jha's Hip Hip Hurray. My only concerns were the ones which a typical Yashraj- Shahrukh combo present.

While the former was notably a realistic movie, latter was threatening to be larger than life, but as a pleasant surprise, Sharukh is excellent in this movie - even better than Swadesh - the movie is almost without a blemish, and no, this is one is not a piece of art. Its a complete masala movie till the last scene.

As a writer, not a doubt remains that Jaideep Sahini has the nerve of his characters. He knows the nuances of the lives of common Indian, first Khosla Ka Ghosla, and now Chak De has shown that. The eclectic troupe of actors (& non actors) were given the as much significance as they deserved.

The build up was realistic too. In the do or die match against men's hockey team, there were no adrenaline or heroics. The result was realistic too, and very well conceived( I won't reveal that). To show the revenge, there was no compulsory match against Pakistani women's team just because no such team exists! Sanely, India didn't create any extravagant fireworks in the follow-up matches after losing to Australia in World Cup.

The point I am trying to make is though you knew the final outcome, writer kept you from guessing the outcome of the sub plots. In fact, he consistently surprises you with the unexpected.

The best part I liked about the movie was the fact the way they repatedly dealt with State regionalism, the seniority and internal bickering. It was like a harsh-slap-in-face kind of dialogues delivered with clenched teeth and pursed lips. It was clear that writer-director duo were firm in their message, if at all there was a message.

All these examples are from live events. We very well know about the egos of our seniors like Dhanraj Pillai. How we are aware about the shameful spats between Dhanraj Pillay and Gagan Ajit Singh, where latter refused to give passes to former in the Olympics matches. Mohammad Shahid, who was such a gifted hockey player, rarely used to give a pass which eventually destroyed his career. How the players from Punjab had made a cartel against others.

At some locations, writer did took cinematic liberties like - creating a character - Abhimanyu Singh - which is not unlike Yuvraj Singh. The guy is young, dashing, on whom girls croon( including the hockey team girls) and shares the same surname. He has been recently appointed the vice captain of the one day Cricket team, again like Yuvraj who was made vice-captain though was dropped later.

One of the hockey officials who flanked Anjan Srivastava - the hockey chief who was babudome personified - bore an uncanny resemblance to Jafar Iqbal, the former hockey captain and coach. All director needed was to put a Sikh at the helm of the affairs and KPS Gill's team would have been complete.

The chauvinism of the cricket towards hockey was, though rightfully added, but to prove more than a point, especially the stuff mouthed by the character Abhimanyu Singh towards hockey. No genuine sportsman can give such remarks for another sport, much less for our national game.

Then something about breaking one-to-one marking of the Korean team. It was made like that it was some Chakravyuh like situation which could be solved only by one individual. It sounded intriguing but silly. More that one to one marking, Koreans forte is long passes. They outwit their opponents with this. But these are minor gripes, and to dwell more on these will be knit picking.

However I will reiterate that what towered above everything else was the breezy performance by Shahrukh Khan. It was like breath of fresh air. I think he should pick up a fight with Yash Chopra, and say sorry to Karan Johar so that he may not have to do their movies in future.

Last but not least I must thank Aryan that he had let us see this movie without moving our limbs, and did not wake up till we were well inside the parking.

Appeal

2007-08-18T08:46:00.000+05:30

My sincere request to voters from West Bengal.

If you want communist goverment in West Bengal for whatsoever reason, then all of us appreciate your decision. But, please don't send any of these jokers to Parliament. They are all over the place and its very hard to ignore them.

The Blue Umbrella

2007-08-14T11:20:00.000+05:30

None of my grannies ever told me a story. However, a few Mausis & elder cousin sisters, here and there, did oblige. I used to hear them again and again with same interest and liking. Therefore all those Anaar-Ranis, Sukkhu-Dukkhus are firmly etched in my memory.

That's the secret about the good stories. You can hear or read them again and again, and still won't get bored of them. I have lost count how many times I must have read my favourite books, despite knowing the contents all too well. Every repeat read, in fact, adds another perspective.

Rarely I have seen a children story adopted on celluloid. Vikram Vetal in the mid eighties was one in which Satish Shah played Vetal. Keeping with the trend of that era, it was an utterly hopeless movie.

However, I was eagerly waiting for this one. For once, it was good old Ruskin Bond and then it was directed by Vishal Bharadwaj. However, at the end of the move, I realized some stories are better told or read, rather than seen.

The biggest flaw of this movie is that its not a children movie at all. It can't be when it fails to brings more than a laughter or two in the crowd full of kids. It is hardly entertaining. Rather, it turns out to be quite a heavy movie.

See, we all know of what Pankaj Kapoor is capable of. There was no point in hammering that point again & again. Instead of being a soft rib tickler which Ruskin Bond stories usually are, it dwells too much on human emotions. It looks more a piece of art than a children piece.

The dialogues weren't funny on their face value. It was the pahari accent which was used as the laughter tool. Initially it worked, but soon it became repetitive.

In fact, more than these it were the ridiculous subtitles which appeared more funny. I think subtitles is big business opportunity. They remain as idiotic as they were two decades back.

Some of the side stories were without context. They were supposed to be funny, but fell hopelessly short of that. In fact, the pace of the movie was so slow that it was hard to ward off sleep.

To liven the pace, Vishal did try to use the beautiful colours and sounds of the Himachal. There was a Mela here, and song there. But I have serious objection to the way these scenes were edited. It looked so jarring to the eyes.

The only two good thing in the whole movie were - Pankaj Kapoor, the and the blue Japanese umbrella(before it became red). Kapoor worked on his diction well. The way he said "Rajaraam" and "By Chance" made it appear that he has spent his whole life in the hills of rural Himachal.

However, at a few places Vishal did show his attention to detail - especially at the point when Nand Kishore Khatri aka Pankaj Kapoor sees the Chhatri for the first using confiscated binoculars. Besotted Kapoor acts in a particular way when he re-adjusts the binoculars. It can be appreciated only when seen.

But that does not mean I am suggesting you to see the movie.

B'day Pictures

2007-08-10T16:43:00.000+05:30

2007-08-06T16:55:00.000+05:30

The public prosecutor Ujjwal Nikam is wearing his black gown beyond the court premises these days. Either the fourteen year old running trial has tweaked his senses or he wants free publicity.

Now he wants to gag people. According to him no one can criticize the judgment. He is publicly threatening contempt of court against them.

People beware. If you are not aware of IPCs in detail, don't utter anything. Otherwise, like Sanjay Dutt, you will also land up in Yerwada. After all, you too are grown up and literate.

Law of Land

2007-08-02T11:03:00.000+05:30

When I was kid - kid enough by the definition - but big enough to start understanding what is right and what is wrong, like all of us, I used to to do a lot of naughty stuff which I oughtta not have done.

However, if any of those activities had been listed under Indian Penal Code, I would have got a blanket punishment of some whatever years. In the age of judicial activism, especially when people are using more brains while taking the decisions, we have an incident where the judge says - "I am bound by the law."

Isn't there something like interpretation of the law ? Or is just emobssed line which can't meandered from the crooked path! In the 14 years of the trial, authority couldn't make out the intention of Gun's possesion?

And the law of the land says, you can possess a licensed revolver with a magazine of 18 bullets. If you don't have the license, will there be 6 years of imprisonment? What about the desi katta ? But yes, AK 56 will fetch you the same.

Andha Kanoon - what to say?

Cellphoned

2007-07-26T11:27:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I was watching an old video of my friends when we were right out of the college -1999.

Apart from the fact that we were all looking skinny bachhas, there was another striking difference. Every single soul in the video was without a cellphone, and were enjoying whatever they were doing!

What a refreshing sight it was!

Today, any scene, event, or activity can't be imagined without a guy or girl talking on a cellphone in your vicinity. Be it working, driving, parting, training, eating, shopping whatever! People take Cellphones even in loo! It has become like another limb of our body.

We have been royally Cellphoned!

Kaun Thakan Hare Jeevan Ki

2007-07-24T10:16:00.000+05:30

A poignant poem by Girija Kumar Mathur.

Lala Ji Ki Tond

2007-07-19T10:00:00.000+05:30

Invitation

2007-07-17T09:40:00.000+05:30

Please be there in time lest I fall asleep.

Aryan

Mortal Remains

2007-07-14T10:56:00.000+05:30

The apple of my eye has finally snapped the support system of my eye neatly into two pieces. It had cost me a kingdom at the time I bought.

And that's what he wanted to do all along.

2007-07-13T09:44:00.001+05:30

Rememeber my post about Mayawati troubling private building activities in Lucknow. She finally delivered.

She has cancelled the project and the license of Ansal API. Now no industrialist or his dog will dare to come to Uttar Pradesh till this b*#$h(sorry, but I can't pretend politeness) is there. She will definiteley usurp that land and create Ambedkar-Kanshiram memorial!

That's why I believed Mulayam was any day better than this vindictive blockhead!

God, she is one dictator who could have paled Hitlers and Chousescos in comparison had she borned in their eras! She is so stubborn, that she even dified court's order on Gomti Nagar Stadium. Look at what happened to the renaming of KGMC. All requests and logic landed on deaf ears. Ansals are doomed too.

Only the court can save the affected people from her terror.

Meanwhile, face the music you idiot voters of the state!

Unsporting

2007-07-11T10:40:00.000+05:30

As we all know from our geography books that like Mumbai is the city of Shivaji, similarly Lucknow is fast developing into the city of Dr. BR Ambedkar. Though history books may suggest otherwise.

Lately Shahu Ji Maharajs( King George Medical College), and Lohias (Lohia Park, Lohia Path, Lohia Memorial) have also demanded their share too.

There are two Ambedkar Parks. One is a huge while the other one is miniscule in comparison. There is a Ambedkar Open university and Ambedkar Stadium. There is a Parivartan Chowk in the memory of dalit leader Periyar. Due to fading memory I fail to recall more.

All these Lohia and Ambedkar Memorials are billions of rupees stuffs(500 crore or their abouts). Maintenance is no less dear. Sometimes, the colours are changed - all within the different shade of blue and sometimes the size and shape of elephants are altered.

Now Mayawati wants to build a Kanshiram Smarak where she wants to install his statue which would be larger than The Statue of Liberty. For this, she has to grab the neighbouring Gomti Nagar Stadium, which is now known as Ambedkar Stadium.

This is after Kanpur's Green Park is forced into oblivion, and Lucknow's KD Singh Babu stadium now hosts oath taking ceremonies and party rallies.

Sportsmen are protesting, and in the act of sacrilege they have got a High Court stay order. Somnath Chaterjee will not approve of this meddling, mind you. Nor would Behen Ji - the one woman government. Similarly, Mulayam Singh had tried to grab the land for Uttar Pradesh Badminton Academy for the expansion of Lohia Memorial.

These protesting fools do not know that when an average Indian earns less than dollar a day, how can they think of sports! We are a poor country, then we should behave like one. Poor are not suppose to play, so how can the rest. This sporting and entertainment activities create disparities and unrest between rich and poor.

And then this is the land of the great leaders. We should give way to their idols. Not only that, we should daily kneel and crawl before them. That should be a good exercise to keep one self fit, so what's the use of stadiums anyway!

The Creator And The Destroyer

2007-07-09T14:17:00.001+05:30

I mean God is the creator, and Aryan the destroyer.

The process is typical. He first holds the object of his destruction in his right hand, and then the transfers it to his left hand, while keeping his gaze fixed on the object. He repeats this process once or twice again.

Then comes the bang. He bangs the object straight down the ground. Then he picks it up again, and throws it in the same direction. Follows it and throws it further. He keeps on doing this until he loses his interest or the object has lost it original shape.

He has done this with a TV remote. He wants to repeat that fate to the new one. He wants the cellphone to be a goner too. Watches, plates, cups, bottles ... you name it. Now that he has started his baby steps without any support ( since July 1 that is), the first two racks in the kitchen have been emptied .

Even the Gods in Pooja Ghar are not spared. Three idols are broken till date, and now he has set sight on the framed photographs. Since yesterday, the entire Poojaghar has been shifted to Refridgerator's roof. That's not the way to show atheism, if at all.

But if you ask him the one thing which he wants to lay his hands on the most is the spectacles. To his lottery, both of his parents are bespectacled. If we let our guard down, with one swift motion of his hand, he catches hold of them, and them laughs with glee as if he has won a medal.

He is a full blown naughty brat now. Some of his snaps.

Ready For Some Mischief

Baby Steps

Some More Mischief

I Have Lost This Hat

Superimposed

2007-07-05T14:02:00.000+05:30

Reminds me of those thin books they use to sell at inter-city buse stands. They used to have Akbar and Birbal in same cover photograph. Just that one had to invert the book upside down to see either of them. It was a smart trick.

Apney

2007-07-02T09:47:00.000+05:30

The probablity of myself watching this movie in my entire lifetime will be not more than the probablity of spotting Dalai Lama in China, but I can say one thing for sure without even seeing the movie.

This oughtta be the costliest home video ever made.

The Prodigal Son

2007-06-28T09:58:00.001+05:30

It was during the sleepy afternoons of late eighties when Doordarshan had started the afternoon transmissions for the first time in India as far as weekdays are concerned. In my neighbourhood, these programs were famous as Kanta and Shanta, derived from the names of the hosts.

Needless to say, it was a big hit amongst the bored housewives, and provided a good option to daily siesta. My school used to finish 2'o clock in the afternoon, so I also use to catch some of those stuff.

There was one particular serial which caught the fancy of all and sundry was Kya Banoge Munna. The title song was catchy -

Kya Banoge, Kya Banogey Munna?
Mummy Kehti Bano Doctor, Papa Kehtey Afsar,
Engineer Ban Jao Bhaiyya, Behna Kehti Aksar!

As the song suggests, it was a serial based on a family which was desperately seeking a prodigy out of their only son, putting him on enormous pressure. His homeworks, and grades were excessively monitored. He was constantly pushed for more. And there was a clash of interests between the parents regarding child's future career.

The results were catastrophic on the child. I felt sorry for 'Munna' as I was also of his age, but luckily never faced any such problems. Since it was a serial, where usually all ends well, so later sense drove home in the minds of the family, and they went back to saner levels.

But real life doesn't give a second chance. Take the case of Chennai doctor couple. To achieve the blind fame for which nobody cares two hoots about, they actually ended up committing a crime, and endangered someone's life.

The more shocking was the lethargy with which Chennai Police acted to arrest the couple allowing them to bask in their misplaced glory. The 'prodigy' is on the run. At the time when he was about to shape his career, the sheer lunacy of the parents has destroyed the same. They didn't realize surgery cannot be taught in Masti Ki Paathshala.

Had this doctor couple been a bit more patient, there were 'legal' ways of making their son a surgeon, albeit, not the youngest one in the world. This procedure is followed all over India, and Pune is amongst the shining stars.

Often, doctor as a profession runs in the family. This is no coincidence. Leaving out the deserving few who actually become doctors by merit, many doctor parents pay hefty sums to (almost) all paid seats colleges like DY Patil, Bharti Vidya Peeth etc. These sum start above 20 lakhs to actually reach as high as 50 lakhs. These colleges are pathetic as far as medical facilities are concerned.

After obtaining the "degree", they have their father's nursing home or clinic to start their career and 'practice'. In a few years, they are safely enconsed in the seat. That's the way this profession usually into the family. I have seen live instances in my family, and even otherwise.

Of course, there are honourable exceptions line Sanguine, who has a charted different career altogether, despite the fact that both of her parents are doctors.

Its not that only doctors do that. Laloo 's eldest daughter Misa (named after Maintainence of Internal Security Act during emergency) is a certified doctor. Typical Laloo style, she passed honours by blatantly flouting all norms.

She failed in Class X, CBSE board. Then Laloo got her shifted to Bihar board, and she 'passed' with distinction. Same story followed in Class XII. Then she 'cleared' the entrance for Ranchi Medical College to which she often travelled via helicopter from Patna. Soon Laloo got her 'transferred' to Patna Medical College. She finally passed the course with 'flying honours'.

I still remember one of her teacher's remarks published in TOI after she graduated as MBBS-"Now that Mr Chief Minister's desire to see his child as Doctor is fulfilled, my request would be to spare a thought for the patients, and refrain her from practicing."

Other prodigy which comes to my mind is Tathagat Avatar Tulsi who was the youngest matriculate till Sushma replaced him. He was claimed to be a Physics genius by his father, but turned out to be just a mugger by Department of Science and Technology, India. Please Read this ridiculous account by his father who claims he "programmed his child". Later I read, Tathagat was a wife beater too.

Thank God for not giving me ambitious parents.

Yes President

2007-06-22T13:56:00.000+05:30

Though only an incumbent as of yet, but I have a strong premonition that Mrs Pratibha Patil's future utterances are going to be delicious fodder for the cattle like Star News and Aaj Tak.

Already, she has started cracking up the outdated clichés like - "This will lead indirect women empowerment" or " I won't be just a rubber stamp,"

Sigh.

Well mam, firstly, you will be as rubber as Sonia Gandhi's rubber band, and secondly this will surely going to empower at least two women( not counting the women & men of your family) - you yourself, and of course, the king maker - Sonia Gandhi. Aha now she is a queen maker too.

Say whatever you may, and do whatever you might - but don't be another national embarrassment. Please!

the-owls

2007-06-18T12:44:00.000+05:30

I am trying to rhyme Deols as the-owls. Deols as in Dharmendra, Sunny and Bobby.

I think their genetic code have been altered for the worse in such a manner that they keep living in their own collectively delirium, and refuse to come out of it. I have seen many such evidences. Here is one such with elder brother. The other one with younger brother follows.

Karan Johar, in Koffe With Karan, asks Bobby Deol whether Sholay should be remade. Latter answers "No it can't, because you cannot remake a remake. Sholay was a remake of my dad's - Mera Gaon Mera Desh!"

I was stunned. Ramesh Sippy could have choked. Karan gasped in breathlessness, but to his credit, he could continue without showing.

This, however, begets the question that by what stretch of imagination, and scale of comparison can be Sholay be termed as a remake of Mera Gaon Mera Desh ? I conclude it is the same delirium which I have talked about.

The fatherly and brotherly love between them has outwitted their senses irrevocably. All this was fine as long as they kept this within the family dining table, but the problem is that it is now spilling out.

I fear for the next generation, when their kids will talk fondly about "legendry" movies like Gadar and Barsat.

Coach-Waan

2007-06-14T12:55:00.000+05:30

I am really in a fix. What will happen if Rahul Dravid decides that he wants me as a coach and BCCI actually calls me for the interview and sends me the tickets?

Or if they make a sudden announcement about making me the tour manager - like poor Chandu Borde, who self admittedly himself doesn't know what his role is! What will happen to my current job?

Then I have other concerns. What if Gavaskar thinks he has better idea like he might as well think that Kumar Gaurav might be better idea as he has played some Cricket in the movie Allrounder.

Like what Ford and Embury did, we too might come for it like Alice In Wonderland - bemused, enjoy the Hotel, and pack up the bags and say - thanks for the trip and hospitality!

So what's the solution about the coach? Sack Rahul Dravid, and make him the coach. Make Sunil Gavaskar manager for life time. Former wanted Ford, without even asking him, and latter wanted John Embury to whom Kapil Dev had hit four consecutive sixes to save a follow on. And none of them wanted Dave Whatmore who was the best choice and more than willing!

Anyways, how should a coach matter - bring any idiot - if the likes of Agarkar keep on making record breaking come backs, courtesy, guess who, Sunil Gavaskar.

Coach plot is getting thicker by each passing day. Already we have a bowling coach - Venkatesh Prasad(again a Dravid favourite), and a fielding coach - Robin Singh, the only saving grace in whole circus.

Days are not far when we will have separate coaches for right hand batting, left hand batting, right arm fast, left arm fast, right arm off spin, left arm off spin, right arm leg spin, and left arm leg spin, and apart from fielding coach, we will have a keeping coach too.

The game has just begin!

2007-06-13T09:39:00.001+05:30

It is easy to be a soothsayer, when its about Mayawati. But sometimes, she over does herself.

In my earlier post I had mentioned how she will go about to destroy her enemy's friends - Anil Ambani, Subroto Roy Sahara, and Amitabh Bachhan. In the same post I had also mentioned she might trouble Ansal's but it was a possibility that they might get saved since they were neutral.

It seems I was wrong. Latest news is Mayawati will not only trouble Ansal API, they will also target Unitech.

For your information, Unitech is developing two mega townships in Agra and Varanasi of about 1700 acres each. Ansal API is developing a 2500 acre hitech township in Lucknow - Sushant Golf city.

They have got the approval to extend it to 5000 acres - making it the biggest township in the country along with DLF Ltd’s 5,000-acre township Dankuni, near Kolkata. It will house about 3,50,000 people.

This Rs 22,500 cr integrated township will feature a championship 18-hole golf course spread over 200 acres designed by landscape expert Dr Martin Hawtree, three 5-star hotels, a medicity, a university, a Mahesh Bhupathi Tennis Academy centre, and 120 acres devoted to office buildings for information technology and bio-tech companies, three Ansal Plazas and Multiplexes.

Not only this, in they same township, Fortis is setting up a Rs 1,000-crore (excluding land cost) medicity spread over 50 acres. It will be about the size if AIIMS with 5000 beds. It will be the largest private hospital of the country.

It will have a medical college, nursing college, physiotherapy college, dental college, an advanced post-graduate college, a health management and an allied services college. In addition, it will also have a superspeciality and a general hospital. Besides, it will also have a stem cell research centre, clinical research centre and a clinical reference laboratory.

My vested interest is a 50 acre IT Park in the same premises. Needless to say, these constructions will change the geography of city beyond recognition, and bring the city amongst the ultra modern cities in India. More than that, they will generate employment for about 5 Lakh people for next 7-10 years.

Mayawati doesn't understand all this. She could have as well learned from Jayalalitha and Karunanidhi. Jayalalitha is no less corrupt while Karunanidhi is no less caste motivated. Whatever they do, they don't stall the development process from the previous governments.

But Maya, like Laloo, knows that if people will get prosperous and educated, who will come and vote for her. Now, I can predict the future even more correctly.

She has already reversed UP Sugar Policy. She has sent shock waves to Ambani and Sahara. Dell and IBM Daksh have been royally kicked away. Punjab Auto, Omaxe Auto and Sundaram Clayton want to set up new plants in the city. TCS and Tata Motors is increasing its existing capacity. Wipro wants to move in. God knows what will happen to them.

Her next target will be the 350 crore Sahara-Apollo Hospital and the latest Sahara Infrastructure's township. Builders like Omaxe, Parasvanth, Ansal Housing, Eldeco, Halwasia, Rohtas, Uppals, Chaddha, Arif Industries will also face brunt of Mayawati's ire.

And to think that it will be 5 years of relentless misrule by this woman, Uttar Pradesh is surely going to be in the deeper pit.

Aasmaan Se...

2007-06-12T11:44:00.000+05:30

...Aag Baras Rahi Hai.

Jaisalmer, in Rajasthan, has clocked a temperature of whopping 51 degree in Centigrade...not in Farenhite or Kelvin! The 50 barrier is broken for the first time in this summer, and as if for Shagun it is one more than that.

We are on the way to give El Azizia a serious complex.

Churu, again in Rajasthan, is even a more interesting place. In summers, it is at more than half the boling point of water, and winters it is below freezing point. Proverbial blow hot, blow cold. And it is still inhabited is a big surpirse!

Jammu, the winter capital of Jammu and Kashmir, has been staying above 45 degree. Who would say this is the place which is land-locked between Kashmir and Himachal, though technically it is more close to Punjab.

But if you consider just the cities, the honours go to Nagpur. For such a green city, temperatures surprisingly consistently hover above 45 degree April onwards. This is the hottest city in India. Though inhabitants of neighbouring Chandrapur find Nagpur a hill station in comparision.

Lucknow is not bad either. Post April 38 to 45 degree is a norm. So what we use to do? Well, the ususal suspects - Aam Ka Pana, Khus Ka Sharbat, Bel Ki Thandai, crushed onions, watermelons & cantaloupes, and cap becomes almost another limb.

Cheeni Kum

2007-06-06T14:54:00.000+05:30

R. Balki, why do you guys make the cardinal sin of making such a boring promos for otherwise such a fantastic movie! And despite being an Ad man yourself.

I almost didn't watch it.

Had it not been for the irrestible desire to watch a movie in a cinema hall(after not being able to watch one for more than 10 months now - courtesy Aryan), and that company was offering free movie ticket 'n food for its employees and their spouses, and that only alternative was - The Pirates Of Carribean(which was as good as no option) - I almost didn't watch it.

Thank God I did. Thoroughly enjoyble, except last 20 minutes.

With minimal but solid characters and incredible dialogues(almost each of them), I haven't seen any movie in recent past having such quality, except Khosla Ka Ghosla, of course.

Since movie hardly has a story, and is primarily based on conversations between the characters(cellphone was no less a small character in itself), the dialogues had to be sharp and witty. Balki has written them very very well. They will remain with the audience for a long long time.

Characters have terrific chemistry in between them - Amitabh-Tabu, Amitabh-Zohra Sehgal(mom), and Amitabh-Sexy(Swini Khara - the little neighbour). And that was because of these excellent actors, and superbly crafted lines. I especially loved the refreshing capsules between Amitabh and Sexy.

At first it appeared that grown up dialogues might sound too heavy on the girl - Swini, but her deadpan delivery pulled it off every single time.

Zohra is a darling. She is an immensely talented women, and has remarkable screen presence.

This movie has no bollywood cliches. Every event is handled naturally. So you won't realise when did the romance develop. Tiffs between the couples are natural. The only melodrama of the movie has been provided by Paresh Rawal which somewhat spoils the movie.

But in totality, it is an excellent movie which will yet again flop because there is no Yash or Johar marketing here.

And yes, Amitabh Bachchan has re-affirmed that he is still the king.

A must watch.

Two Songs Of Different Kind

2007-06-05T09:51:00.000+05:30

Bum Lehri

In what moment of mental weakness did Kailash Kher decide to sing this awful song? Lyrics are very under developed, music is lifted from Sholay's - Mehbooba Mehbooba, and video is shabby. Worst is, however, is his singing. He is gasping for breath - sounds almost like a steam engine!

The promise which he had shown in Allah Ke Bande from the fantastic - Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Part - II(must watch), he has failed miserably to live up to that. His movie songs have done poorly, while his video albums have been pathetic.

Somnath's Lulaby

Speaker Somnath Chatterjee's ego trip, it seems, haven't ended, as of yet. He is still crooning his old favourite song - "Judiciary must remain in its limits" at every possible ceremony or conference he is called upon as a guest "speaker". I feel sorry for his family on whom he must be regularly tormenting this song.

I wonder why haven't courts charged him yet under the contempt of court. He deserves a week or two as sarkari mehmaan. If one can take his colleague Gurudas Dasgupta too along, that will be a bonus. Bahut Bak Bak Ker Raha Hai Aajkal.

Ek Kahani Mein Sarey

2007-06-01T14:28:00.000+05:30

A poem for kids.

Surname

2007-05-29T09:48:00.001+05:30

Haven't heard a more queer surname in a long long time - 'Sidebottom'. He is the new English bowler - Ryan Sidebottom - who tormented WestIndies in their last Test Match.

Just imagine him introducing himself: my name is Sidebottom, Ryan Sidebottom.

The last time I heard a stranger surname was Coffin. But he was a french guy, and it is pronounced as Koffan there.

Marwari surnames are known to be different. I have two very dear friends surnamed as 'Kankani' and 'Toshniwal'. I have never heard them before, and never heard them after.

But Marathi surnames can be very imaginative. Often they signify the place they have come from like Kolhapuri(Kolhapur), Purandery(Purander), Gavaskar(Gavas), Tendulkar(Tendol). But some times they take very interesting connotations.

For eg. surnames like 'Khare', and 'Khote'(Biju Khote). Former means true, while latter means false. By the way, there are 'Khare' in Uttar Pradesh too. Then there are 'Phule'(flowers), 'Zhade'(shrubs) and 'Muley'(root). 'Kolhe' means fox, while 'Landge' means wolf. Then there are 'Wagh'(tiger), 'Waghdhare'(tiger catcher) and 'Waghmare'(tiger killer). There are even Gods and Ghosts too - 'Deo/Dev' and 'Bhoot/Bhute'.

But the most original surname I ever heard here is 'Dahibhate'(Curd-Rice) ! Just think about it.

Even in Hindi belt, we have names with a pattern. 'Dwivedis', 'Trivedis', 'Chaturvedis' - the surnames according to their forfathers' achievements - the number of Vedas they have read. Though 'Trivedis' are found mostly in Gujarat. 'Shastri' are those who had read Shastras.

Then teaching as profession finds special mention - 'Upadhyaya', 'Pandit', 'Acharya', and 'Pathak'. 'Upadhaya'(Pahadi Brahmin), 'Padhye' and 'Vajhe'(Marathi Brahmin), 'Ojha'( Central India), and 'Jha'(Bihar Brahmin) are the same. 'Srivastava'( Uttar Pradesh) and 'Sinha'(Bihar) are the same.

Talking about profession as surnames, who can beat Parsis. Most of them either they have Wala or the direct profession like Habib 'Painter', Hafiz 'Contractor', Farukh 'Engineer', Asif 'Doctor', Bejan 'Daruwala', Ronnie 'Screwwala', Shenaz 'Treasurywala', Umpire 'Dhotiwala' or the most stereotyped Parsi surname in Hindi movies - 'Batliwala'.

Bengalis often use combination of surnames. There are 'Sen' & 'Sengupta', 'Das' & 'Dasgupta', 'Majumdar' & ''SenMajumdar'. Often, the suffix is profession related. Britishers have changed 'Chattopadhyas' and 'Bandhopadhyas' as 'Chatterjees' and 'Banerjees'. Sometimes people keep the title along with the surname like 'Roy Chowdhari', where the latter is a title. A title which has been invented our times is 'Sahara' ala in 'Subroto Roy Sahara'. We gonna see many 'Roy Saharas' in future from this clan.

In North, Kshatriyas, Yadavs and Kayastha are known to keep titles. For the first two, it is 'Singh'. Like I am Manish 'Singh' Chauhan, while it Mulayam 'Singh' Yadav. But it is not necessary like there can be Chetan 'Chauhan' and Rupam 'Yadav' too.

Kayasthas sometimes either keep title bestwoed upon them like 'Rai' or they invent of their own like 'Bachchan'. Some do both like Harivansha 'Rai Bachhan' while he was actually a 'Srivastava.'

In Punjab, they keep 'Singh' for males, and 'Kaur' (meaning princess) for females.

In Bihar, 'Kumar' is often prefixed to the names. It is often suffixed too. For eg. you can find many Kumar Mahesh, and Mahesh Kumar there. You may also find many other suffixes like 'Prasad', 'Bharti' etc. They often leave out surnames. Another phenomenon common there is having dual names like - Shekhar Suman, Sudhir Vinod(like in movie Shool), and our very own Prem Piyush. Though it is not a rule as such.

South Indians, especially Tamils, don't put surnames. Easy.

I didn't intend to make this post so long.

Papaji Don't Preach

2007-05-25T10:01:00.000+05:30

Jivha Per Saraswati
Only yesterday I said Mayawati will hound Anil Ambani, and lo - here she cometh! Uttar Pradesh geoverment has approached Center to cancel Ambani's Noida SEZ. This, despite she had announced immediately after taking oath that she wouldn't trouble businessmen. That's her idea of development. God save the state.

Economist turned Socialist
Below the able chhatrachhaya of the 'Madam', and ample brainwashing by the Lefitists, our Prime Minister has turned into hardcore Socialist. After armtwising RBI into giving preferential treatment(read loans) to miniorities, now he wants people to refuse "high salary" because this promotes social disparity and frustration amongst the poor.

Very noble thought indeed. It sounds familiar, though. I remember your similar speech after announcing reservations that we should have large heart and blah blah. I suggest you must bring a legislation on this. Merely an advice is not enough. You should put Indirasque taxation of 97% on the rich which prevelant during 70s. Your buddy P. Chidambram is very capable of that.

Hey Manmohana, but didn't you see the asset declaration of your fellow politicians before Election Commission. Your finance minister - P Chidmabram is worth 15 Cr. That is a lot of money to earn in a life time. You yourself have valued yourself 3.96 crore. Madam and her son together are worth just 1.7 crores. That's relatively poor. They don't even a house inDelhi! Unimpressive indeed!

Mayawati has 10 crores, while SM Krishna is a 18 crore baby. Laloo has been arrested for keeping disproportionate assets. Vilasrao Deshmukh's net worth is Rs. 3.29 crore

And then we all know, what a farce these declarations ususally are.

Now about the perks the MPs enjoy. A furnished bunglow in Delhi for just Rs 2000 per mensem which you guys refuse to vacate. It takes a court to throw you out.

They also get free, unlimited, first class railway travel with a companion and 40 business class companion tickets annually. Apart from that, they have access to 50,000 nearly free units of electricity and free water, three phone lines and 1,70,000 free local calls every year. Even then your electricity and phone bill exceed the limit which you don't even bother to pay.

The Delhi High Court has rapped MPs for the outstanding dues. It included Rs 11.7 crore due to MTNL, and the NDMC dues were Rs.5.25 crore, while Rs 28 lakh is due to ITDC.

The Parliament burdens taxpayers as the per minute running cost is Rs 20,000 and Rs 5-6 crore was lost per session in 2006.

Please put your house in order first, then start bugging rich salaried executives. That is their honest income, and they work well enough to deserve it.

Euphoria Over Maya

2007-05-24T10:40:00.000+05:30

For the first time I would agree with Swamionics that there seems to be highly misplaced euphoria over Mayawati gaining a simple majority in Uttar Pradesh elections, and that wheels of fortune will change for the state ala Bihar's changed at the advent of Nitish Kumar.

Though, as usual, Swami has scratched on the surface only, but I also agree on his views on the comments made by "social scientist" Yogendra Yadav - something about "revolution of sorts" has happened in the state.

Yogendra Yadav, who till very recently, was a great fan of Mulayam Singh, has changed his stand fairly quickly, it seems. Social Scientist managing a Social Engineering? I have no doubts, however, that Yogendra, like his old buddy Rajdeep Sardesai, is a rank idiot.

Media will be media, but make no mistake, Mayawati will be Mayawati. At the risk of sticking out my neck, in my opinion, she is even worse than Mulayam. Okay, let me put this way. I may rather have a five year of misrule by Mulayam Singh than a five year misrule by Mayawati.

Le'me explain.

Mayawati has very different agendas. She just believes in symbols, and reversals. She will blindly undo all previous government's decisions - good or bad. She will burn more money on the Lucknow Ambedkar Park, and create more such parks. More unheard statues will get installed at even more unheard road crossings.

Names of universities, medical colleges, railway stations will be changed to the name of dalit idols all along the country. First casualty is the 102 years old, prestigious King George Medical College of Lucknow.

She had named it to Chhatrapati Shahuji Maharaj University during her previous regime 5 years ago. Thousands of Georgians( as the alumnus call themselves) around the world had made a huge protest back then. When Mulayam came to power, he restored the old name. Now she has again changed the name. Protests have begun again.

Then there would be more districts carved - remember we have Mahamaya Nagar, more Ambedkar Villages(read more privileged) created. Of course, I forgot to mention the transfer industry. She has a world record on her name. Not to mention her at-the-drop-of-hat-suspensions.

She understand no business. I remember last time when she was there, IBM Daksha and Dell wanted to open their call centers in Lucknow, considering their large chunk of employees come from Lucknow-Kanpur-Allahbad-Varanasi. As far as IBM is concerned, she asked for a 'cut'.

Dell wanted to open a 20,000 capacity center in Lucknow. This, after rejecting Jaipur and Chandigarh. But both Mayawati and Mulayam managed to scuttle the project.

Now she will reverse Anil Ambani's Dadri project. As if his elder brother wasn't trouble enough. She will throw spanners at Sahara City Homes, and might trouble Ansals as well. Latter, to their credit, are neutral so this might save them.

Yes, I must say though, that to do her bit she will arrange a trip for Mumbai and USA to "woo" investors, like she does last time.

Sigh.

But, I suppose, this is part of the nature that with every election people hope for better. These media channels have fuelled this hope to euphoric level. Let's better be safe than sorry.

From Shrieks To Syllables

2007-05-21T10:51:00.001+05:30

Aryan began with shrieks & coos, then graduated to blabbles like "Gaya" & "Nayin", and now has post graduated to those syllables which parents ultimately love to hear - a non stop series of "Mam Mam Mam..."(as in Aam - mangoe), and "Pa Pa Pa Pa...".

It all started with "Mam Mam Mam Mam". It appeared very cute from his mouth. Then he started to say Papa, which he started within 3-4 days. Sometimes he speaks "Pa Pa" very lovably by giving a twist to ending "Pa". Soon "Ba Ba Ba Ba" also got added to his limited vocabulary.

Now he also says - "Abba Abba". When he is not happy, he says "Bua" or "Abua."

Though he says these things generally, I would like to believe he calls me "Pa Pa" :-)

However, there is a pattern to his "Ma Ma" and "Pa Pa". When he wants to play or go outside, he shouts "Pa Pa", while when his hungry or sleepy, he will go (or may not go) to his mummy and say "Mam Mam".

You can call this as Matlabi, which I guess he is, albeit innocently. But natural.

Keechad Mein Kamal

2007-05-17T11:26:00.000+05:30

The son of a farmer tops the civil services exams, while that of a rikshaw puller gets 48th rank ! Bring them on, we have more Gudarhi Ke Lal on the lines of Lal Bahadur Shastri.

All this without reservation.

Three cheers to them, and if the royal debacle during Uttar Pradesh elections wasn't enough, three resounding slaps to Karunanidhis, Chidambrams, and Arjun Singhs.

Akaal

2007-05-15T10:52:00.000+05:30

Read this one by Nagarjun in school. Puts up a poignant picture.

Aryan Panorama

2007-05-11T10:25:00.000+05:30

No updates on Aryan since a long time. On Juneli's request.

Black & White

Having a ball

Naughty Naughty

Doesn't like that Syrup

Thande Thande Pani Se Nahana Chahiye

Yellow Yellow Lovely Fellow

Full Monty

Aryan Meets Ayush

Ayush is one day junior to Aryan. Aryan is clearly not happy with him because Aryan's favourite ball was given to Ayush.

Otherwise, Aryan busy doing his Mamma-Mamma-Mamma, Buaa, Ooon, Aaaan, Hooon, Hmmm....

The Music Tag

2007-05-08T10:58:00.000+05:30

When Juneli tagged me at first, I thought it to be an easy tag. Not to be, at all. But yes, for once, I am glad I am tagged for this.

Your favorite lyricist and the lyrics you remember the most
A tough tag notwithstanding, and here comes the toughest question in the beginning it self. Toughest because unlike Deepak, I won't like the song unless I don't like its lyrics.

My preference for a composition goes like this: Lyrics > Singer > Music. In fact, even if there is a minimal music, because when I am deeply enjoying a song, I stop registering its music. For eg - the song from Shankar Hussain - Bahut Khoobsoorat, Magar Sanwli Si.

Here, I must also agree that I have strong gender bias towards male voice - a different form of male chauvanism.

And considering there have been so many genius lyricist around, it is difficult to name one. So like Deepak, I would also put up a list.

Shailendra: Definitely he should top the list. A commonner's lyricst, I should say. Like Deepak said, no difficult words, only simple Hindi/Urdu. I think it is tough thing to catch masses imagination without heavy words, and he did. Each songs of the movies like अनाडी , Guide, मधुमती are immortal now.

His song from यहुदी - ये मेरा दीवानापन हैं, या मोहब्बत का सुरुर is one of my favourites, but the song whose lyrics I enjoy the most is from the film सीमा sung hauntingly by Manna Dey, and music by Shankar Jaikishan - तू प्यार का सागर है, तेरी एक बूंद के प्यासे हम.

Gulzar: What to say? The only living genius of lyrics today. इजाजत in my opinion, is his best album ever. आंधी, घर come close . His metaphors are still fresh and different. I never knew one can write with water(खामोश सा अफसाना, पानी से लिखा होता) or cut the clouds( बादलों से काट काट के) or for that matter one can burn a cigarette with Liver(Bidi Jalai Le Jigar Se Piya). They are many such examples.

But the first among equals in his lyrics turns out to be heart-wrenching - ऐ मेरे प्यारे वतन, ऐ मेरे बिछडे चमन from काबुलीवाला. Incidentally, another Manna Dey song. This song is one example where you can't ignore any of these - lyrics, singer, music.

Bharat Vyas: Here I would like to mention one particular song whose lyrics and singing I can never forget - ऐ मालिक तेरे बंदे हमfrom दो आंखे बारह हाथThis one song will last for centuries, no matter what happens to Hindi as the language.

There are so many lyrcist I want to talk about, like -

Hasrat Jaipuri(he and Shankar Jaikishan have created riot together, especially the songs from आरजू)
Sahir Ludhiyanawi(प्यासा, हम दोनो, कभी कभी, चित्रलेखा, हमराज etc),
Shakeel Badayuni(Bees Sal Baad, चौदहवी का चांद etc)
Majrooh Sultanpuri(कुदरत , काला पानी, CID, अभिमान etc),
Kaifi Azami(कागज के फूल , हीर रांझा, अर्थ etc),
Anand Bakshi(हिमालय की गोद में etc )
Indivar( सरस्वती चंद्र)

But then this post will stretch beyond Illiad & Homer.

Your favorite song on friendship
The song from जंजीर- यारी हैं इमान मेरा, यार मेरी जिंदगी Sung by, guess who, Manna Dey.

Best song(s) portraying life’s emotion
Classic Anand Bakshi - जिंदगी के सफर में, गुजर जाते है जो मकाम from आप की कसम and मन रे तू काहे ना धीर धरेfrom चित्रलेखा written by Sahir Ludhiyanawi and immortalized by Mohd Rafi.

Which song are you humming today?
None.

Song(s) which brings tears to your eyes
1) The song from Raja aur Runk, sung by Lata Mangeshkar and written by Anand Bakshi - Tu Kitni Achhi Hai, Tu Kitni Bholi Hai, Pyari Pyari Hai, O Maa, O Maa.
(Especially, the lines - Maa Bachhon Ki Jaan Hoti Hai. Woh Hote Hain Kismat Wale Jinki Maa Hoti hai.)

2)The other song is from Hare Rama Hare Krishna, written by Anand Bakshi - Phoolon Ka Taron Ka, Sabka Kehna Hai.
(I love the line Dekho Hum dono Hain Ek Dali Ke Phool..)

3)And again the song from आप की कसम - जिंदगी के सफर में, गुजर जाते है जो मकाम.

A song which gives you hope, a reason to try again and again, a reason to say that life is beautiful

Maine Kaha Phoolon Se Hanso To Woh Khil Khilakar Hans Diye from the movie मिली penned by fellow Lucknowite - Yogesh.

When you want to be with yourself, silent and content but with music, which song would that be?
My ultimate favourite song from the film हम दोनो -मैं जिंदगी का साथ निभाता चला गया written by Sahir Ludhiyanawi and music by Jaidev.

If you have to express love with a song which would that be?
1)Again it involves Manna Dey, with Lata Mangeshkar from चोरी चोरी written by romance specialist Hasrat Jaipuri - आ जा सनम, मधूर चाँदनी में हम
2)The other one is from कुदरत - हमे तुमसे प्यार कितना, ये हम नही जानते

Five songs which you listen to the most
Not any particular list of five songs, but these are my favourite ones -
1)मैं जिंदगी का साथ निभाता चला गया
2)अभी ना जाओ छोडकर, के दिल अभी भरा नही
3)हम बेखुदी में तुम को पुकारे चले गए
4) Nishana Chook Na Jai, Zara Nazron Se Keh Do Ji
5) हम है राही प्यार के हम से कुछ ना बोलिए

A song for the person who tagged you
My song for her would be ना मुँह छुपा के जियो और ना सर झुका के जियो from Humraz.

Have Done, Have Not Done & Want To Do

2007-05-03T17:22:00.002+05:30

This tag by Juneli has been pending since ages.

Have

Climbed a mountain – A hillock
Said 'I love you' and meant it - Oh Yes
Hugged a tree - Not done since a long long time, but done nevertheless.
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise - Only on my marriage day.
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment - In the college library.
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking - Yes, only in college parties and marriages.
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment – By God's grace.
Had two hard drives for your computer - Don't own a computer, but on workplace, yes.
Had amazing friends - Really amazing some of them.
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
Played in the rain - Bachpan Mein
Toured ancient sites - Not at Mohen-Je-Daros, and Incas types. But yes.
Performed on stage - In school and neighbourhood.
Spoken more than one language fluently
Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking - Yeah I do that all the time.
Broken someone's heart - Couldn't help it.
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol - At the balloons, yes.
Ridden a horse – It was a horrific experience.
Had your picture in the newspaper – I think so. No not picture. Only name.
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about - Many a times.
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language – Keep doing that all the time.
Changed a baby's diaper - But, of course.
Had a food fight - Oh yes. With my little sister, of course.
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can - At the cricket match.
Hit a home run - As in baseball, no. As in life, yes.
Milked a cow - Yes. Its a pain in the wrist.
Played in the mud - Aha. What a fun!
Buried one of your parents
Petted a cockroach - Oh my house is cockroach wildlife sanctuary!
Gone back to school - Kaafi Pehley.
Shaved your head - Yes, many times.
Slept under the stars - Many times at my Lucknow home terrace.
Taken a roadtrip - That ended with a fever.
Gotten married - Need I say more.
Raised children - Doing the same now.

Have not

Had a booth at a street fair
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken - Bus Amanush Hi Bana Ker Nahin Chhoda
Ridden a roller coaster - God forbid. I will simply puke.
Gotten drunk on champagne - Ever TeaCoffeetotaller
Bought everyone in the bar a drink - No. I am not that insane or rich.
Swam with wild dolphins - Can't swim. Unlucky Dolphins.
Won first prize in a costume contest
Gotten a tattoo
Eaten sushi
Held a tarantula - Me Not a SpiderMan.
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Gone to a huge sports game
Watched a meteor shower
Alphabetized your cds
Given more than you can afford to charity
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Held a lamb - Only a calf.
Seen a total eclipse - On TV, only.
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Taken care of someone who was drunk - Had an opportunity, I declined.
Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
Gone rock climbing
Gone sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
Visited Japan
Pretended to be a superhero
Gone scuba diving
Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Rafted the Snake River
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded music
Eaten shark
Been in a combat zone
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
Created and named your own constellation of stars
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
Had plastic surgery
Survived an illness that you shouldn't have survived
Lost over 100 pounds - Don't need too.
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Petted a stingray
Helped an animal give birth
Broken a bone
Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
Had major surgery – God forbid.
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten kangaroo meat
Parasailed
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Skipped all your school reunions
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Dyed your hair - Just Hinna
Been a DJ
Caused a car accident
Taken a candlelit bath with someone
Bungee jumped
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Lounged around in bed all day

Want to

Saved someone's life
Piloted an airplane
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Midnight walk on the beach
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Gone on an African photo safari
Visited Paris
Seen the Northern Lights
Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had a snowball fight
Backpacked in Europe
Sung karaoke
Kissed in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Taken a martial arts class
Been in a movie
Made cookies from scratch
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Been on television news programs as an "expert"
Got flowers for no reason
Gone to Thailand
Bought a house
Been on a cruise ship
Wrote article for a large publication
Won money on a T.V. game show
Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
Visited all 7 continents
Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

Kaane Raja Oonkh Dogey ?

2007-04-30T16:50:00.001+05:30

Kaane Raja Oonkh Dogey ?

Oonkh is SugarCane in Sanskrit. The phrase is a Hindi proverb which means using derogatory words even while asking for a favour. An incident similar to this happened to me in the morning.
A young man rings the bell, and is probably handicapped with Polio.

Man: Sahi.
I(perplexed): What?

Man: Sahi! Shows a paper.
I: Oh, signature.

Man: Our society president **** Uncle has asked this document to be signed.

I was about to sign when he explains me about the some donation for his studies because, though, he is handicapped, he is a meritorious scholar(he showed me 86% marks somewhere on the paper).

Though I was slightly miffed because he told me about this at the last moment, but still decided to help him.

Suddenly, he dropped a bomb shell!

Man: Aap Kahan Se Ho, Uncle?
I(coldly): What is your correct age, Merey Laal?

Man(slightly taken aback): 25, Kyun ?
I: Even if you were 20, I wouldn't qualify as your uncle.

Man: I am Sorry...er...sir.
I: You better be. I am from Lucknow.

Now he drops another bomb shell.

Man: Punjab Se?
I(disgusted not for the first and last time): Jaaney Do Dost. Mujhey Office Bhi Jana Hai.

Still gave him 50 bucks, and closed the door.

I have found these two generic problem over here. Uncle and Aunty is the most abused word, and they have very twisted sense of Geography.

Phir Wohi Talash

2007-04-23T12:59:00.000+05:30

I think during 1989-1990 or thereabouts, we had this tele-serial called Phir Wahi Talash telecasted at Sunday noons, and directed by legendry Lekh Tandon.

It had basically two love stories - first one a triangle between a subdued Ashwini Kumar, lovely Poonam Rehani nee Sarin, and a young ravishing Himani Shivpuri( this before she picked up weight ). This one was tense, surreptitiouss love story involving strict dad of the girl. Believe me, in case you don't remember, the by-default nasty looks of this dad would have paled our Hindi films villains in comparision.

But we liked the chori-chori set up. It looked so real similar to our own crush stories. My only grouse was the fact how come a lovely dame like Poonam Rehani could have anything to do with that hopless Ashwini Kumar.

The other was the chirpy & lively open romance between Salim miya and Shehnaaz. Don't remember the name of that dashing guy who played the Captain Salim(he was in the DON remake too), but sweet Shehnaz was definitely Nilima Azeem. She was the best friend of Poonam, and his so lovely father was fellow Lucknowite S. M. Zaheer.

Both the stories complimented each other perfectly, but somehow in the end serial lost its control. It had a lovely tital song sung by Chandan Das which I wanted to share.

न जी भर के देखा न कुछ बात की
बड़ी आरज़ू थी मुलाक़ात की

कई साल से कुछ ख़बर ही नही
कहाँ दिन गुज़ारा कहाँ रात की

उजालों कि परियां नहाने लगीं
नदी गुनगुनाये ख़यालात की

मैं चुप था तो चलती हवा रुक गयी
ज़बाँ सब समझते है जज़्बात की

सितारों को शायद खबर ही नही
मुसाफ़िर ने जाने कहाँ रात की

Aryan Antics

2007-04-20T15:34:00.000+05:30

With time, Aryan has developed a few exercises of his own. These are Push Ups which Aryan regularly attempts. I guess to compliment his good looks, he also wants to tone his muscles.

Of Vandals & Punishment

2007-04-18T10:22:00.000+05:30

This is in reference to a few incidents which happened in Mumbai during the last few days.

First incident involves the attack on the property of Star News, and other one is actually a series of similar incidents - a group of hooligans riding on their motorbikes on the Mumbai streets at night and smashing the car windscreens, & windows and also painting graffiti on the walls(recently they did that on Shahrukh Khan's bungalow) - ala - Flight Club movie.

First incident is to terrorize, and second one is just for kick.

They are not the isolated ones. Burning Deccan Queen in revenge of desecrating Baba Saheb's idol, destroying Singhania Hospital just because a local Shiv Sena leader died there after the accident etc etc.

Unfortunately, in our country these incidents doesn't seem to be crime enough. Police is either plain corrupt or politically influenced, while judiciary is slow & inefficient. Witnesses can be shamelessly bought, and proofs recklessly destroyed. Meaning hereby - justice is either delayed or simply denied.

These hooligans know that sooner or later they will be running scot free.

So what is the solution? Personally, I think two things. 1 - Will power to prosecute. 2- Swift action. Incidentally, one of our fellow Asian country has shown this.

I remember an incident which happened in Singapore in mid 90s. There was an United States national in his late teens who painted and smashed some of the cars in Singapore just for small fun. He got caught and swiftly sentenced according to the law of land - 200 cane hits on his back side!

Then started the protests. Human right activists said it was inhuman. Western media cried hoarse against the decision - it was harsh vis-a-vis the crime. Even the then US President Bill Clinton requested Singaporean government for the leniency.

Well, 200 cane hits is what he got in the end. They were firm and quick in action. A leniency or pardon would have set up the tradition.

That's the way. First set up the law, and then follow it to the W. But India, we take lawlessness in our stride.

Arey Baba

2007-04-16T14:25:00.000+05:30

Courtesy Baba Ambedkar's Jayanti, Aryan, his Mummy and myself got stuck for more than one hour in traffic jam at 40 deg centigrade Sun. Why don't any of these celebrities born on 29th of February!

Moreover, we had went over to collect our Sahara Airline ticket, and the jerks were closed owing to Ambedkar Jayanti ! Now that Jet Airways has bought them off, their days of Matar-Gashti are gone!

xxx

Rahul Gandhi shoots from his hip. Not only he creates diplomatic embarassment for the country, he doesn't know much of his Indian history either. Perhaps he might score better in European history. Beta Rahul, contrary to your mis-utterances, one of your ancestors - great granddad to be precise -had a great deal of hand in dividing this country too.

Greatest Fools

2007-04-13T09:43:00.000+05:30

We all have heard about the Wisest Fool - Mohammad Bin Tuglaq, who, according to his merit, took some very wise decisions as a ruler, but most of the back fired due to lack of foresight.

First he wanted to rule his empire centrally, and therefore he shifted his Capital to Daulatabad(Tuglaqabad), near Aurangabad. He order the whole city to shift. There was no planned shifting so everything went haywire, and meanwhile his kingdom was attacked from the North.

He also tried to change the currency to more cheaper and tradable from gold to copper, but the enterprising that we are, we were no different even then. People started making their own coins. Poor chap to had to revert back to copper.

So we could see, his ideas were noble, but implementation was shoddy.

Lets talk about the Greatest Fools - the UPA Government. The Child Welfare minister in this Government - Mrs. Renuka Chowdhari (one of the most notorious turncoats of our time along with Ram Vilas Paswan, Ajit Singh Chowdhari, Vidyacharan Shukla) who has simply slept over her current and previous ministry for these many years, and has also been reprimanded for the same, has suddenly developed a bosom deep concern for the children of this country.

And in the undesirable fit of this newly developed emotion, her ministry is about to bring an act which will punish those parents(and anybody else) who gives corporal punishment to their children. Punishment would include fine, and possible imprisonment up to 7 years!

A visibly beaming Renuka Chowdhari, after regaining the long lost media lime light, waxed her eloquent on the topic yesterday on TV. With the regular hitting, the child gets traumatized. It affects on his/her emotional and social development. Blah Blah Blah Blah.

At first, this law has the potential to get extravagantly misused the way Schedule Cast act and Dowry act are regularly being done to settle scores, just because our Police is corrupt and Judiciary is inefficient.

Now just answer for us a few questions -

a) Suppose a parent hits their child, and the get caught, is tried and sentenced to 7 years(or whatever) of imprisonment, then what happens to that child ?

-Who will take care of him?
-Won't child's present and future be affected?
-Earning Parents will lose their job, then who would feed the child?
-Who will fund the schooling?
-Who will maintain the child's current lifestyle?
-What if he fells into bad company?

b) If everything remains equal, and we theoretically assume that police manages to nab all the culprits hitting their children, then almost 90% of Indian parents would land in prison. That will mean about 50-60 crore people.
-Where will you put them?
-Where are so many courts to try them?
-What if they all appeal to higher courts?
-What if your Police and Judicial machinery harasses them due to rampant corruption present? -And of course, the question #1, what happens to the kids?

Stumped? Well take a cue from countries like Switzerland, where already a system is in place, especially, when the complete ministry is showing the tell-tale signs collective failure of mental faculty.

For such habitual and non-habitual parents, the first step should be counseling(like drug users). They shouldn't be put with and treated as heinous criminals upfront, like you have advocated. Then the repeat offenders should be handed over moderate punishments like community service like teaching and monetary fine which would be used only for child development.

The imprisonment, if at all, oughtta be last option, but not before state provides full social security to children. This system is still not in place.

Greatest Fools.

Save Ram Setu

2007-04-12T10:00:00.000+05:30

In Satyug, engineers in Bhagwan Ram's Sena Nal & Neel created a bridge between India & Lanka. Earlier, the Samudra was very trubulent, so Ram Chandra Ji had to pacify it by setting up Shivling at Rameshwaram.

While setting up the Patthars for the bridge, brothers Nal & Neel found that stones jus won't float. It was then Hanuman Ji came with the idea of righting Ram Nam on those stones. The trick worked, and Ram Setu was able to finish.

But after some 3500 years, this bridge in trouble. They want to destroy it to facilitate Sethusamudram project. Currently, it is not in someone's priority list as a Tajmahal or Redfort is. Please read these two posts by Praney on the topic and you will have an idea.

http://praneysnivedan.blogspot.com/2007/03/save-ram-setu.html
http://praneysnivedan.blogspot.com/2007/03/in-addition.html

Someone has even filed a PIL against it(http://news.indiamart.com/cgi-local/news-link.pl?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ezeenews%2Ecom%2Fznnew%2Farticles%2Easp%3Faid%3D364851%26sid%3DREG).

The Lakshman Rekha

2007-04-10T11:57:00.000+05:30

The Executive Machinery of India is seeing RED. The DMK and its cronies, the LEFT brigade are hopping mad. Why? That's because of Judicial Activism shown by the Supreme Court of India.

So that day, our Manmohana preached that Judiciary should not cross Laxman Rekha. Sad that PM didn't see that most of his ilk in the Parliament - The Executive - have been sitting line-crossed ever since in their lives. They all are law unto themselves, and had not been Courts and Election Commission, they all would have ran amok.

Not that they are not already doing that. They have scant concern for country's citizen and development. They are most shameless in their most unlawful acts. And of course, they are incompetent too. Including you, lately.

When Election Commission and Supreme Court tried to rein in the Gunda elements - the 6th Tatva in your DNA - all the tooth-and-nail fighting parties came in cahoots with you against that suggestion and passed a law against it, as if they all were Chaddhi friends.

The sadder part is that you don't even have the knowledge of the constitution that there is no such Laxmna Rekha, and even if there is a conflict between Judiciary and Executive, Judiciary's view shall prevail.

Aryan Learns To Smooch

2007-04-05T14:20:00.000+05:30

Albeit it has happened quite early in his life, but nothing can be done now. The story goes like this.

Till a few days back, his show of affection use to translate following course. He would raise his hand to beckon me, and then he would feel my face with both hands.

By now, he has realized that I might kiss him next. To reciprocate the feelings, he had learned to opens his mouth. Then I would plant a smacking kiss on his open mouth. Often, he would not remove his mouth for many seconds.

But God has given children phenomenal brains.

This guy realized that though we are kissing each other, Papa does something more - the smacking sound. Puuuchchch! And he wanted to do that himself too.

So that day when I was kissing him gently on his lips, he started blowing air out of his mouth with lips closed. Like Ppphhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. When I took away my lips, he stopped doing this. When again I kissed him, he did the same.

I was shocked! He was trying to smooch! Now he does it regularly whenever we kiss him. These guys learn fast. And learn naughty too.

Why not - at the age of eight months these infants develop 500 trillion of neurons. The neural network is developing is pretty fast.

Poot Ke Paanv Palne Mein Dikh Gaye Hain.

Hi !

2007-04-02T15:32:00.000+05:30

Its very hot here in Pune!

Where Is The Crowd, Man?

2007-03-29T10:28:00.000+05:30

Last year when ICC Mini World was taking place in India, the two WestIndian commentators - a lady called Dona Symond, and ex-bowler Ian Bishop - kept on cribbing, match after match, on the fact that apart from the matches involving India how low the people turn out was. All that on the expense of Indian Channels money.

The clear cue was - "Wait And See What Happens In West Indies in World Cup".

Well, we waited and nothing swashbuckling has happened. There are absolutely no corwds even for WestIndies matches, forget other matches.

That's what we call 'Shooting From The Lip'.

Jhar Gaye Paat

2007-03-21T11:04:00.000+05:30

It is such a sad state of affairs that Government had to bring a bill for protection and taking care of our elders. No amount of punishment can be less for such a crime, but just 3 months of imprisonment and Rs 5000/- of fine is definitely way too less.

I hope no parent suffer in such a way, and none of children face this humiliation, but then truth can't be ignored. Lage Raho Munnabhai is one example. People deliberately leaving their clueless elderly parents at Kumbh Melas is so regular. Like I said, no punishment can be less.

Noted poet Balkavi Bairagi has written a wonderful poem - Jhar Gaye Paat - with similar message. Its about how we discard everything which is old, be it people, relationships, belongings, or anything else, whenever we encounter something new.

Now more about the poet. He has been a Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha member from Madhya Pradesh, and a minister in state's Legislative Assembly for Congress. He has written some memorable songs for the films too. Like the lovely "Tu Chanda Main Chaandini" sung by Lata Mangeshkar in the film "Reshma Aur Shera", and "Nafrat Ki Ek Thokar Ne" sung by Manna Dey in the same film.

Interesting thing about him was that his family was so poor during his childhood that they(including him) use to beg for surviving. His father was crippled. He had beg to furnish his studies too. He lost his first child, barely 11 months old, as he could not afford to buy medicines.

Now the poem.

Food Panorama

2007-03-20T12:48:00.000+05:30

I had taken some pics on my trip to Lucknow.

Royal Cafe: Chat King

Makes one of the best Chat in Lucknow. Huge variety available here backed by very good service. Costly, but value for money. Chat Basket is their speciality(35 bucks). Excellent clientele and gentry. The restraunt behind the doors is excellent too, with speciality in Muglai and Awadhi food. Serving since early twenthy century. Located bang in the middle of MG Road, next to Capoor’s.

Ritz Continental: Veggie Delight

Two branches: one at Sapru Marg, other at Mahanagar. One of the best Veggie stuff in the city. I loved its Stuffed Nan with Dal Tadka. Good chinese food too. An old favourite.

Rovers: Burger King

Our hang out for Burgers. Small shop with no seating facility at MG Road. Great hit with college crowd.

Mini and Moti Mahal: Sweet

Delicious sweets. Owned by MM grouo who have chain of eateries in Lucknow(Madhurmilan, Madhurima, Moti Mahal, Mini Mahal) and one in Pune(Manmeet Lucknawi Chat) too.

Aryan: Namesake

A namesake of Aryan, this is a new fast food chain hugely popular amongst crowd for hanging out. Aryan would love it.

Mee Punekar (Replies)

2007-03-19T09:56:00.000+05:30

Sudipta has put the cat amongst the pigeons, by forwarding my post to Desipundit as a result there has been a sudden flurry of comments in my box. I thought it would be better if I replied in full post here.

Kusum Rohra: Sorry as much I tried to find, I couldn't find it. However, even yesterday when the bail acceptance was put on TOI, along with each culprit, there home city name was also mentioned in parenthesis. They get so horrifically wrong with the facts that they mentioned Yamunanagar in Uttar Pradesh, which in fact is in Harayana.

Karlton: Sorry, I somehow forgot that and so did I forget the incident of blackening of the face Fergusson College principal - another landmark in the city synonymous with its culture.

Vick: Yes Vick, I remember. It was just an year back in March when Meher Bhargava was killed. Issues and their severity are different. But as I said then, a criminal is a criminal whether outsider or insider, and s/he should be punished according to law of land. This post is not about not punishing the offenders, if they are destroying the basic fabric of the city, but about the sheer hypocrisy.

Its a human nature, but when the debates carried to national newspapers and channels, then it kind of project wrong picture to people all over.

Shriniwas : Yes, I agree that all can't be painted in same colour. I have mentioned specific events which are related to specific persons. I think during our parents time, the things were different. Now we are at different times, and this intolerance is slowly but surely increasing.

HP: So true, what more can be said. Some are more, and some are less.

Sarang: I guess you have read the post in complete haste. Never ever in my post did I mention about Maharashtrians. You can read again. This is in general not only my view. The Maharashtrians from other cities to have the problem coming here. People from places like Nanded, Jalgaon, Beed, Akola, Usmanabad, Solapur, Satara, Sangli are treated same way.

However, due to lack of information, and some "IN GENERAL" information, you have lot of prejudices and misconceptions to which you may not agree. I am not talking about IN GENERAL prejudices and misconceptions others have here, because that I have talked about earlier too, but only yours.

Misconception # 1: North indians are not immune to similar feeling...just that they haven't been expressed yet, because who after all,in his right mind, will go to U.P,Bihar, M.P., Rajasthan to live and work?No one. If maharashtrians tmrw start moving there, I assure you that you (or other north indians) might make similar statements.

You might be surprised to know that since you mentioned about Marwaris, and Gujaratis which throng to Maharashtra, they also do in huge numbers other part of North India , and settle there. So do Punjabis, Bengalis, Kashmirs in large numbers and Tamils, Kannadas, Malayalis, and Telgus in lesser numbers. And yes, all in their right frame of mind. And no ethnic statements till now.

Misconception # 2: The point you haven't mentioned is that North Indians come to Mahrashtra, settle here and then often, try and project how superior unka des is(read one comment above). The fact is that they have come here to escape the lack of industry, law and order,education in their state. So its a bit rich for them to say this.

The comment which you have mentioned is from one North Indian to other North India staying just 200 kms away, and that too in jest.

True that they come here for lack industry, but industry is not someone's ancestral property. Its for the talented and deserving, whoever it may be. If you are then you get the job, and if I am, then I get. Companies go there and fish for talent, if they don't get here. Despite all this, people are neither exactly begging there, nor are they dying of hunger.

About law and order. Of all my life I lived there, I wasn't exactly lynched. Nor are the people are who are living there currently.

Now the education. Now if you are talking about Pune's colleges, let me inform you, barring a few, rest of them are sheer PR exercise. These institutions are there to unload people's pockets, and as far as standard of education in them, I know it inside out. Sheer junk.

About the school education, you won't believe it - its as good as yours in cities. They crack national level exams like IIT-JEEs, IIMs, ICS, CBSEs, PMTs, NDA, Olympiads, NTSEs and whatever you can think of, unlike here. And nobody comes here to study in the schools here anayway.

Misconception # 3: The other fact is that north indians, IN GENERAL, bring the same 'fix it', 'law is for asses' atitude in day to day life. Remember I said IN GENERAL. This is their general outlook to life- since they havee been brought up in such a society- as compared to Mahrashtra, South India and Bengal- which, IN GENERAL, are more law abiding, in their outlook.

Didn't you see Raj Thackrey's press conference? Haven't you heard about Bal Thackerey? Who is this Arun Gawli? Haven't you traveled by autos here? If you want to know about their basic law abiding outlook read this. How come a policeman raped a school girl in police chowky? What do you know about rural Bengal? What happened in Banglore for a week when Rajkumar died? Why did people burnt a school bus containing children in Tamil Nadu when Jayayalalita was convicted? Why did they involve in vandalism at BORI? Why did they burnt whole Singhania hospital in Thane after throwing patients out when one a Shiv Sena office bearer died of accident? Is this law abiding? Or was the killing of Mahatma Gandhi? Lets not get into this loop.

The more you are literate, the more law abiding you tend to be. People here are more literate. But in 15 years or so, even this gap will be bridged.

Misconception # 4: People like you who fail to realize this and just attack Mahrashtrians and make one sided statements are educated but not wise.

I repeat, never once I talked about Maharashtrians or North Indians because I believe we all are Indians. Its only TOIs reporter and you are talking so, I am afraid.

I Am Back

2007-03-15T18:05:00.000+05:30

Mee Punekar, Rest (Ko)Baharkar

2007-03-13T17:26:00.000+05:30

Move over Mee Mumbaikar, here comes the breed of holier-than-thou "Punekar". Really, I have rarely seen a more hypocrite breed of citizens as these. If you are wondering what's the provocation, then I would point the recent episode of Rave party as one, but not the only one.

See, if this had been a drugs party in any other city, and people were caught, given the degree of this event, it would have been treated like another event. Guilty would have been caught, and punished. Nothing more.

However in Pune, there has been a clamour of self denial.

Its not us. Its the people from outside who are responsible. By outside we mean the students , the BPO and software professionals who have settled from outside, and we also mean the people who had come only for the party - from Mumbai, MP, Delhi, Rajasthan, UP and Bihar. But certainly not us - the sons of soil. Not a single one of us. And even if there is one - s/he must be spoilt by the outsiders.

A reporter of local Times Of India - Gitesh Shelke - indulged in such ridiculous reporting that it can't be explained in words. It can only be read and realized. It was clearly not a report, rather an an opinionated outburst against non Punekars - those who are supposedly destroying the 'culture' of the city.

Then this weekend, Regatta, the annual boating event of College of Engineering Pune(COEP) also included the Rave party in their annual theme, indicating how the original 'culture' of Pune getting destroyed.

Icing on the cake came when the debate reached national TV - CNN-IBN. Educational thinkers of Pune like some lady from Symbiosis Institute, along with local landlords made one party, while students made another. Topic was when in Rome, behave like Romans.

On went the lectures on Maryada and Seema that these students should not be crossing. Same hypocrites conveniently forgot how one amongst them had installed webcams in his house's bedroom and bathroom to make videos of the girl tenants! And how a gymnasium owner had put - again -a webcam in changing room! Or what about that unsuspecting college girl that was raped by policeman in Pune University campus.

Arrrg..... exceptions should be ignored, please.

Whither exceptions? Haven't you vested the famed Saras Bagh? Haven't you been accosted by prostitutes in Budhwar Peth or besides Mangla Talkies. Haven't you seen nauseating child prostitution in Lonawala and Khandala. Promiscuity is rampant my dear brethrens, if you allow me to call you one.

This is not the first time such a debate has happened. A few years ago, there was ragging episode in Law College in Pune. All of them who were caught were non Punekars. What a hue and cry there was! They were all suspended. Again Pune's culture was in danger.

Symbiosis Institute's head - some Majumdar - who had absolutely nothing to do with this, poked his nose in. He wrote an open letter to SOS( Sons of Other States) in Times Of India - to behave themselves or they would be chucked out of the city. Then there were a counter letters. Things reached to shameful level. Meanwhile TOI made its millions.

Now I will show you there double standards. These only institutes - Symbiosis, Law College, Bharti Vidyapeeth, DY Patil, MIT etc put full blown advertisements in north Indian newspapers - days after days to attract students. Criterion will not be merit, but money. Obscene money.

So what do they think - Ramanujam and CV Ramans would come to Pune. Many of them are rich dad's good for nothing off springs.

Then where are the facilties? Meagre hostels. I bet there are more fancy courses than hostels. Hardly anything worthwhile would be taught. Coaching Institutes are there to teach them, not the colleges. The standard is pathetic, and more than 50% don't get a job.

Now, when there are no hostels, so they would reside in apartments. Landlords would charge them Rs 8000 for one BHK, and deposit of Rs 80000. Who can afford that? Afterwards, with their rich life style these guys landlords only develop complex. So at first they want huge money, for that purpose they would rent out to rich students, and then they only would ask them to behave.

My neighbouring flats always had bachelors as residents for past 4 years, and none of them troubled me. During Diwali, when I asked them kindly not to explode crackers near my the flat because that may trouble young Aryan, they readily complied.

On the contrary, my local neighbours, the family ones, refused point blankly. So would the other young college going society boys despite requests. "Arey Sula Ker Rakho Usey", "Abhi(sic) Diwali Ko To Chhodenga Na Phataka".

On the name of Ganpati and Janmashtami Chanda, they would fall just short of threatening. One guy from society was ready to pounce on me when refused. Before that, they kept on banging door like hooligans. Go and teach them manners.

I will give you one more live example of double standards which will shock you no end. One of my friend - a very shy and noble soul to the core - received the shock of his life when his landlord called up told that society chairman has complained that he brings girls to his room. Now 'bringing' girl is no crime or sin per se, but I can vouch that he must have hardly spoken to a girl in a year or two, leave alone bringing home.

Later society chairman accepted he has lied because one of my friend's neighbour was insecure just because that guy worked in Mumbai, and his wife was alone at home! So he wanted my friend to be thrown out. Would you believe it?

Then there are these numerous incidents like deflating motorbike tyres by your local neighbours so that one may leave that housing society. Why don't they teach Puneri culture to them and autowallahs first who are committing daylight robberies.

Like I have said before, outsiders must behave and whatever these cases may be, guilty should be punished. But do not put up a public trial, and before blaming others en masse - Apne Gireban Mein Bhi Jhank Ker Dekho. Kabul Mein Bhi Gadhey Hote Hain.

उनके देखे से जो आ जाती है मुँह पे रौनक ...

2007-03-12T17:24:00.000+05:30

Vintage Mirza Ghalib.

उनके देखे से जो आ जाती है मुँह पे रौनक
वो समझते हैं कि बीमार का हाल अच्छा है।

देखिए पाते हैं उशशाक़ बुतों से क्या फ़ैज़
इक बराह्मन ने कहा है कि ये साल अच्छा है।

हमको मालूम है जन्नत की हक़ीकत लेकिन
दिल के ख़ुश रखने को ‘ग़ालिब’ ये ख़याल अच्छा है।

World Cup

2007-03-07T16:29:00.000+05:30

The World Cup is round the corner, and I peg no chance on India this time round. Frankly, they have never been in reckoning in any of the World Cups but they have managed to pleasantly surprise in most of them.

I would love to be presently surprised this time too, but then it would be surprises too many.

I have previously written about the two India Pakistan matches which have been my personal favourites. Incidentally one of them is from 1992 World Cup in Australia. Not sure why, but even as the World Cups as a whole, I have the fondest memories of this one.

And in this post, I am going to talk about my other favourite match in the same World Cup.

One big reason for liking that particular World Cup could be that it was played in the thick of my class X board exams, so though the fun of the tournament was slightly diluted, but the tension of the-first-board-exams got tremendously relaxed.

This World Cup was slightly different than others, with a lot of new things in it - both from organizer's and participant's side. Firstly, it was played in a Round Robin League manner without any pools. That was fun. Next the dreaded Rain shorten rule came into the play. According to rule, it would delete only those overs which had least runs. Side batting second was always in disadvantage. That was not fun.

Then there was coloured clothing and two white balls for the first time, and so was the only two-men-outside-for-the-first-fifteen-over rule.

Last rule gave birth to a new terminology in Cricket, courtesy dashing Kiwi Captain Martin Crowe - the Pinch Hitter. He always was a master strategist and introduction of Mark Greatbatch as the Pinch Hitter, who earlier use to play down the order, was
hugely successful for his team. So was making miserly off spinner Deepak Patel open the bowling, which took most by surprise.

We had our own original pinch hitter in Krishnamachari Srikkanth but (a) he was failing miserably, and (b) Ravi Shastri was diluting his effect from the other side. Gavaskar been gone five years back, and we hadn't still solve the opening problem. Chronic disease, it seems. Desperation was so overwhelming that even Kapil Dev unsuccessfully opened in a match against Zimbabwe!

England tried Ian Botham as the pinch hitting opener with mixed effect, but with his slow swing bowling he created enough trouble for our little master.

South Africa played for the first time, and reached Semi Finals. An airbourne Jhonty Rhodes running out Inzemam became picture perfect for the newspapers and a new dimension called fielding was added in Cricket which could actually win matches apart from bowling and batting.

Rain and Rain rule created a lot of tense situations. First, rain helped Pakistan to reach semifinals. Without Imran Khan, they were all out against England for just 74. England were cruising when rain forced the match to be abandoned. Later Pakistan beat the same side in final to win the World Cup. I still cannot forget that beauty by Wasim Akram that took Chris Lewis' stumps.

South Africa was perhaps laid low by the rain rule in the semifinals against England. They needed some 22 runs of 13 balls, which it self was looking difficult to achieve, and suddenly it drizzled for a while, and the revised target was 21 runs from 1 ball. This was damn too difficult. Dave Richardson and Brian McMillan were inconsolable.

India was both beneficiary and aggrieved party. It lost out to Australia due to this rule in the match I am going to talk about, while it was saved from a shameful defeat against minnows Zimbabwe. Also, India's a sure-win match against Srilanka was washed out in rain.

Zimbabwe however did create an upset when they dispatched England in a low scorer but, England were safe to semifinals by then. Former almost did in Srilanka too by scoring 312, but latter successfully managed a record breaking chase.

Pakistan were benefited not only by rains, but also by the unsporting largesse bestowed upon them by NewZealand. Inorder to avoid going to Australia for playing semifinal, it was believed that they deliberately lost Pakistan in league match. This defeat also nullified the chance of Australia reaching semifinals even though they defeated WestIndies a few hours later. It also snuffed out WestIndies' chances to reach semifinals had they beaten Australia.

See the complications of a round robin league tourney.

Pakistan met the same opposition in semifinal(NewZealand), and this time it was not the case of lady luck for Pakistan. From then, it was the simple genius of Imran Khan till the finals. For the first time Imran Khan must have played one down as a sheet anchor and utilized Inzemam to the best effect in the slog overs. Very traditional Oneday Cricket. NewZealand and England were shocked, and Pakistan was the unlikely champion. Chymes of Allah-Hoo in the dressing room later were nauseating, though.

Gosh! Already such a long post! I will post about the match in next post. Sorry!

TimesNow

2007-03-05T10:50:00.000+05:30

The Foodie in TimesNow finally gave Lucknow its due. As if in act of over repentance for neglecting it for so long, it dedicated four exclusive weekends to Awadhi cusine with an eclectic combination ranging from Kakori Kebabs to Mutton Harabhara.

They are yet to provide links of the latest episode yesterday which covered winter specialities of Lucknow, but all other links up and for the benefit of those who have missed the episodes, and want to know the recepies here are the links.

The Foodie Cookbook: Lucknow - The City of the Nawabs (First Episode)
In this episode, Nawab Jaffar Mir Abdullah talk about Mutton Korma and Raan Ke Kebabs. For those who are not aware, Raan is thigh in Awadhi.

The Foodie Cookbook: Daawat-e-Lucknow (Second Episode )
Here The Foodie is treated at the lawns of beautiful Chhota Imambara, with delicacies like Khadi Masoor Ki Dal , Lucknowi Mutton Dum Biryani and Shahi Tukda.

The Foodie Cookbook: Lucknow Kababs (Third Episode)
Simple Kebabs. First a trip to legendry Tunde Kebabs at Nazeerabad lane near Aminabad. The Tunde kebabs are basically Galawati Kebabs(they melt in mouth therefore are called so) with are eaten with Roomali Rotis, Sheermal (an orange-coloured saffron-flavoured naan, made only in Lucknow), Khameeri naan or Ulta Tawa Parathas. But Tunde's deserve a complete post so some time later. Promise.

Then he moves to a restaurant called NausheerJaan in Hazratganj, where the cook shows how to cook Malai Mewa Kebab , Majlisi Kebab , Pasanda Kebab , Kakori Kebab .

The Foodie Cookbook: Lucknow Winter Specials (Fourth Episode)
They haven't put up the link of this episode as of yet. It started in some Nawabi Haveli which I missed out. All the dishes are Lucknow winter specials. A newly wed of just five days along with her husband tells us about Mutton Harabhara. Later her mother-in-law shows how to cook Egg Halwa.

The Foodie, then moves to Chowk in old Lucknow where he learns how to prepare spicy Kashimiri Chai which is drunk-cum-eaten with soaked Samosa and Balai( Malai). Then he gets to taste delicious Kali Gajar Ka Halwa of which foodie had never heard about. He later put his hands on the yummy Makkhan Malai which is a fluffy cream prepared by putting the stuff open in dew whole night.

They missed out a lot of stuff because sky is the limit in Lucknow, but to their credit they did well by giving a whole month to Lucknow.

The Newly Weds and Aryan

2007-03-02T12:18:00.000+05:30

Charitraheen

2007-02-27T11:20:00.000+05:30

Most of us may remember this serial base on Sharad Chandra Chattopadhya's novel of the same name being telecasted on DD. It had beautiful song sung by one of the leads quite frequently on the harmonium. The song was done by great Salil Chowdhari. Here it is.

शीतल मंजुल कोमल, तेरा आँचल
मेरी सुधियों में लहराया
झल-मल झल-मल
और एक शाम मैंने तेरे नाम लिख दी

हौले, हौले-हौले
पुर्वा ड़ोले, पुर्वा ड़ोले
ढलते दिन की अरुणाई में सपने घोले
सपने घोले, सपने घोले
और एक शाम मैंने तेरे नाम लिख दी

पंछी एक बिचारा, टूटा हारा, टूटा हारा
सुने नभ में उड़ता फ़िरता, मारा-मारा
मारा-मारा
और एक शाम मैंने तेरे नाम लिख दी

शीतल मंजुल कोमल, तेरा आँचल
मेरी सुधियों में लहराया
झल-मल झल-मल
और एक शाम मैंने तेरे नाम लिख दी