Am I Selfish ?
Not sure why this happens to me. Whenever I leave some place for a new one, with in a few months or years, that place usually becomes so alien to me.
When I left my ancestral home in Lucknow, where I had spent first 16 years of my life, to another locality in the same city, I was inconsolable for about year or so because that place has had all my friends. But after that, I just don't feel the same about that place, as if it never existed.
Then again when I left IIT campus at Kanpur after completing studies, there was no remorse or nostalgia, which ideally should have been there since they were my hostel days, and I had as much fun as is possible within the limit of decency.
Same is the story at Pune. In last six years, I have changed three houses within a stone-throw distance of each other, but never felt the pang or belonging to either of previous ones. Even when I pass by them, I rarely cast a glance.
It happened with my rooms in hostel and hostel building. Now it's happening in my company too. Change of cubicles, floors, even building has no effect on me.
I know that same will be true for Pune, if and when I decide to leave despite of the fact that this beautiful place has given me employment, some amount of financial security.
The only exception is Lucknow, perhaps. As soon as I step down at the magnificent Charbagh Station, a familiar sensation grips me. I automatically start feeling good about everything, true to the line which has now become anthemic to this place- Muskaraiye Ki Aap Lucknow Mein Hai. Perhaps, that is due to the charm of the Nawabi city. You can take a person out of Lucknow, but can't take Lucknow out of that person.
Still, I am foxed at my behaviour. Am I selfish ? Or is it that I am aloof. I would like to believe I am not. But then why not these memories of my past appeal me ? I am not getting any answers on that. Is that happens to everyone; is it fairly common ?
When I left my ancestral home in Lucknow, where I had spent first 16 years of my life, to another locality in the same city, I was inconsolable for about year or so because that place has had all my friends. But after that, I just don't feel the same about that place, as if it never existed.
Then again when I left IIT campus at Kanpur after completing studies, there was no remorse or nostalgia, which ideally should have been there since they were my hostel days, and I had as much fun as is possible within the limit of decency.
Same is the story at Pune. In last six years, I have changed three houses within a stone-throw distance of each other, but never felt the pang or belonging to either of previous ones. Even when I pass by them, I rarely cast a glance.
It happened with my rooms in hostel and hostel building. Now it's happening in my company too. Change of cubicles, floors, even building has no effect on me.
I know that same will be true for Pune, if and when I decide to leave despite of the fact that this beautiful place has given me employment, some amount of financial security.
The only exception is Lucknow, perhaps. As soon as I step down at the magnificent Charbagh Station, a familiar sensation grips me. I automatically start feeling good about everything, true to the line which has now become anthemic to this place- Muskaraiye Ki Aap Lucknow Mein Hai. Perhaps, that is due to the charm of the Nawabi city. You can take a person out of Lucknow, but can't take Lucknow out of that person.
Still, I am foxed at my behaviour. Am I selfish ? Or is it that I am aloof. I would like to believe I am not. But then why not these memories of my past appeal me ? I am not getting any answers on that. Is that happens to everyone; is it fairly common ?
Labels: Memories
posted by Unknown at 9:48 AM
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