As Sick As They Come

I am not a psychologist even though I tried my hand on two psychology courses in my college. Psychologists insist that the sexual predators like Phaneesh Murthy do what they do because "harassing a woman at the workplace becomes a way of asserting masculinity" or they "suffer from feelings of insufficiency or inadequacy" and may "have deep-seated insecurities."

Earlier I used to ignore all these theories as technical mumbo-jumbo but over the period of time I have begun to realize that apart from these being cases of insatiable, indefatigable lust, there is definitely some sort of deep rooted psychosis involved as well.

I have seen many individuals - both in personal and professional life who suffer from this malaise where their mind becomes a slave of their libido and their power of reasoning takes a leave. If this is backed-up with power then they act with a sense of impunity.

There is a very senior guy I know who literally ogles at women, forces female subordinates to stay late, offers them late night lift - all this with rank impunity, yet he thrives. He is a living nightmare for the girls working under him.

Another one would insist on girls to have coffee breaks with him. If they ignore, he would forcibly join them in canteen or would try to disrupt their coffee time by scheduling a meeting. He would go and sit at their desktops every one hour explaining things which they don't want to learn from him. There was a virtual revolt against this guy, yet he managed to get even bigger and bolder using his newly found power to harass even more.

Another old wise man would impress young newcomers with flowery praise. Whether the girl was from his team or another - didn't matter. Some gullible girls would get initially flattered till they found about the similar stories with other ones. Then he would be ignored, but it doesn't matter to this shameless fellow. His game is on.

This other fellow would send the Facebook requests to the girls he didn't even know. When he couldn't find them on FB, he would send the request to their corporate email id. In the meeting room, during the meetings, he would check out the pics of the girls from the corporate diary.

Then there was this absolutely sick guy, who definitely needed help. He would brazenly stare at girls, and seeing their discomfort, he would give a smirk and even intimidate them by hovering around. It didn't matter if the girl was alone or accompanied. He didn't have any fear or shame of anyone whomsoever. He actually needs medical help.

There is one such person amongst my relatives who is known for his repeated misdemeanours. He has been even reprimanded and rebuked several time but doesn't learn. He is a shame for his immediately family but they bravely bear him.

Sadly, there is a never ending list of such sick people. Most of the time, these people are ignored, not punished for their deeds, and hence indirectly encouraged. I believe they should not be just punished but also ostracized. There should be no tolerance policy against such people - both by individuals and groups.

I twice tried to get one such fellow punished on two separate occasions but the girls backed out. I, for one, never talk with such people and if I do, I am decidedly rude.

Tumhey Yaad Hi Ke Na Yaad Ho

Life

What do you call when something of this sort happens repeatedly : You help a few destitue elderly people with money, they bless you and while returning back home - you are booked for not breaking the signal or you pitch in to provide food for a hungry child and later in the day you learn the clutch plate of your vehicle is a goner. You just wish that the money you paid as fine or costs should have directly gone to the needy and everyone would have been better off.

In the end, you still call it life.

An Accident Waiting To Happen

A few seasons back when Australia was touring India for a One Day series, after every ball of the over Sreesanth would walk towards the batsman and sledge something about which Gavaskar has always jovially maintained that it is something which wouldn't be appreciated much by the batsman's mother.


He did that even for a couple of no-balls to which he has been more susceptible than his other brethren (only R Ashwins beats him there) and after a few fulltossess which were duly guided to the boundary. And when he would, if at all, take a wicket - he would run across the pitch, squat just off the way of the walking batsman and animatedly thump the ground in celebration with his bare hands while giving a dirty look at the bemused batsman.

His theatrics were similar but fell way short of tantrums shown by Andre Nel in his hey days until he found his match.

Ian Chappell too was at the commentary box - and seeing Sreesanth's actions and reactions, he remarked- "He is an accident waiting to happen." As much respect I had for Chappell's Cricketing mind, I didn't agree with him because I thought Sreesanth wouldn't survive that much in Cricket but then the Grand Indian Tamasha of IPL happened and he survived with slaps, tears and all. What I did think about him later when I saw him praying before every ball during the World Cup that his real place is not Cricket field but some mental asylum.

Not in asylum, but he is in prison now. Andre Nel must be smiling with glee while Chappell senior must be solemnly nodding an i-told-you-so.

Feluda

 Sometime in mid-eighties Doordarshan used to telecast an intriguing detective series called Satyajit Ray Presents, though I myself could watch them only during later part of that decade when they were repeated. It had a haunting title music with the sound of a ticking clock making its main theme well followed-up by equally ominous background score.

I don't have much memory of the most of the episodes, but I do remember a longish story which was shown over many episodes called Kissa Kathmandu Ka. It featured Shashi Kapoor, Utpal Dutt, Mohan Agashe and Alankar Joshi (Pallavi Joshi's brother and previously known as Master Alankar) as the main leads and the adventure, as the name suggests was set in picturesque Kathmandu with a climax around the famous Pashupati Nath temple.

I quite liked the series - not just for the story and but also thrill element it brought due to its settings. They reminded me of the taught settings of Vijay Anand movies. At that time, I just assumed that they must have been episodes directed by great Satyajit Ray and that was that.

It was much later that I came to know that they were based on a famous character (and detective series) created by Satyajit Ray himself called Feluda aka Prodosh Chandra Mitra aka Pradosh C. Mitter. By Ray's own admission, the series was inspired by Sherlock Holmes of which Ray was a huge fan himself.This series' Watson and Feluda's trusted lieutenant is his intelligent teenaged cousin Tapesh Ranjan Mitra aka Topshe. He is also the delightful voice of narrative which brings the child back out of you while reading.

The story would get published every year in one of these magazine edited by Ray - Sandesh, Sharadiya Sandesh, or Sharadiya Desh from 1965 to 1995. The intended target audience was supposed to be children but its popularity swept across the generations and was eagerly awaited by people from all ages. But since they were written in Bangla, rest of India missed out the treat. Even the movies based on these stories, directed by Satyajit Ray and his son Sandip Ray, were in Bengali. The only non-Bangla movie based on Feluda was Kissa Kathmandu Ka (based on Joto Kando Kathmandutey and directed by Sandip Ray).

However, as they say - all days never remain same, the lady lucky has smiled on non-bengali fans of detective fiction. Penguin India has started publishing the English translations of these books. They come in two volumes : The Complete Adventures of Feluda Vol. 1 & Vol.2 . What more, there are comic series as well under the collection Feluda Mysteries. Likewise there are Marathi translations as well.

While I was already a fan of Ray through his only Hindi movie Shataranj Ke Khiladi, but after going through these Feluda mysteries, I have become even greater fan of this genius personality. Not only these books are first rate adventure books, these also show us the knowledge in general this writer possessed. Almost each of his stories are based in a different city yet he captures the ethos, essence of each of them beautifully in the story. In fact, the place itself becomes an important character in itself - where its locations play valuable role as the story progresses. Reader is literally transformed to these places through his description and imagery.

One thing where I could relate with him was his love for trivia. Some interesting information would be thrown at the curious reader somewhere in the beginning of the story to chew upon and later it would play an important part in solving the mystery.

However, for a series to be successful, more than plots, it is the characters who should appeal more to the readers. The most endearing feature of this series is the delightful bond of love and respect which the two cousins possess making them appear friendly real life folks. This ensured a cult following. This is the reason these books are liked by all class and age of people.

CQ, CQ, this is W9GFO. Is anybody out there? CQ, this is W9GFO. CQ, this is W9GFO here. Come back !

The above quote is from the movie Contact (1997). It only means that I am back on blogspot and hope to see you all once again.

I wish I could roll back the complete tragic events which happened in Mumbai, but even if I am given the power to do that partially, I will change the guest list at the Taj and Oberoi.

Here is it. Please pardon my perversion.

1. Raj Thackray and others from his clan.
2. Arundhati Roy.
3. Amar Singh and Mulayam Singh.
4. The complete Left Front.
5. Mayawati.
6. Lalu Prasad and his brothers-in-law.
7. Shivraj Patil, Vilas Rao Deshmukh and RR Patil.
8. Teesta Setlvad, Farukh Sheikh, Shabana Azmi and Mahesh Bhatt.
9. Nominees invited.

Please do send yours as well.

Delhi Boy

Shahrukh Khan is in trouble. He calls himself a Delhi boy, which he duly is, but Bal Thackray insists now he is not because Mumbai has given him wealth and fame. Though at the same time, he also insists that Sonia Gandhi is still an Italian, a Videshi.

Shahrukh must be disoriented by now about his existence. Myself sailing on the same damn boat. Join the notorious club. Who knows, someone might club us all.

I repeat, Bal Thackray insists since it is Mumbai and Maharashtra which has given him wealth and fame so why does he harp about being a Delhi boy.

As if, as soon as he touched Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, or shall I say Bhusawal, almost magically, someone started giving him all his wealth - to make him rich, and concurrently, someone else (or the same guy perhaps) started calling his name on AIR, to make him famous.

Applying the theory of mathematical induction (though I never came across a bigger fraudulent theory), every one making money or name in Maharashtra started doing in the same manner. Well, not every body, though. Some of them were beaten black and blue right on landing at the Kalyan & Kurla station. However, rest get it for free, by almost doing nothing.

It may also be that all the movie audience of Shahrukh Khan is from Mumbai and Maharashtra only. Rest of India and world are not counted. It is already known that he dances at the ceremonies of Netas to earn quick bucks. So this settles it.

Mahindra and Mahindra, Telco, Bajaj sell all their vehicles only in Mumbai and rest of Maharashtra. So those workers who come here and work should also pay their homage and respect for their bread and butter, and to their very existence, only to Maharashtra.

Had there been no Maharashtra, who would have created these vehicles and much worse, who would have bought them, isn't it ? Anyway it is not their work which is bringing them money. They are being paid only for the fact that they have entered Maharashtra.

It is God's will that they were born to move into Maharashtra in future. Was this not tobe, may be God would have cancelled the order. That's why, my dear Shahrukh, you ain't no Delhi boy. You were desitined to come here, and that's why you were concieved (or else it would have been someone else in your place). You are now Mee-Mumbai-Maharashtra boy.

Now let us all say in chorus - Jai Maharashtra!

The Percentile

Outside Maharashtra, not many would be knowing that education ministry of the state has come up with an idea of reserving more seats (yes, one more reservation) in the colleges and junior colleges for the students passing from Maharashtra Board.

The convoluted logic is that since ICSE and CBSE are follow percentile system, students form these board have an undue advantage over the Maharashtra board students during admissions. Mercifully, someone filed a court petition and there is a deadlock in Bombay High court.

Here are my two cents on this.

True, students get marks in abundance in ICSE and CBSE, and they do follow in percentile system. However, students from Maharashtra Board, even without percentile system, get no less marks.

In fact, I remember, when I was applying for Agarwal Correspondence Studies for JEE, they had this cut-off system for the applicants. The average for PCM (Physics, Chemistry, Math) for ICSE and CBSE was 85%, while that of Maharashtra Board and Kerala Board was 92%.

Now coming to the quality of curriculum and exams.

My sister completed her Intermediate (XI-XII) from Maharashtra Board. For e.g. in English Literature, she had the chapters like Sambhaji Maharaj and poems like Abu Ben Adham in her class XI. I had studied the same poem in my class V in 1986, while she did the same in her class XI in 2001.

Apart from that, in 1993-1994, when I was doing my Intermediate (XI-XII) from ICSE, we had novel Macbeth, A collected short story book having stories from authors like Graham Greene, Jerome K Jerome, Jack London, O Henry, Roald Dahl, Ruskin Bond and standalone poem book called Panorama.

Not only this, we had the novel Julius Caesar in IX & X, and Merchant of Venice in VIII apart from other books.

Comparison to this, Maharashtra Board had just one book for English Literature, and that too very elementary. So was true for all other subjects.


In fact, my sis didn't get an admission for B.Com in Lucknow University and Awadh Girls because they said that Maharashtra Board's SSC level commerce is too elementary.

She was an average student in CBSE student till class X, and she turned out a topper from her school with Maharashtra Board.

In terms of exam as well, one would never find any repeated question in ICSE or ISC exams. In fact, I remember, my both ICSE and ISC exams were quite a revelation in terms paper setting. They were very very tricky!

Also, in Maharshtra Board class X and class XII board exams, nothing of class IX and class XI would be asked. This was not there in ICSE and ISC.

Last but least, the board and schools made sure that there was absolutely no cheating !

In fact, most of my friends and colleagues from Maharashtra Board accept this fact. They say that it is their schools which lift the students otherwise the board has failed to move on with time.

Somebody should tell this to education ministry. Hope the courts will.

Nano-Baiter

Nano appears to be up for grabs and there seem to be many suitors. Chief Ministers have already started building castles and factory in the air. But at least, one can appreciate these suitors and their castles.

There are some like Shivraj Singh Chauhan of Madhya Pradesh who are busy doing Havan Pujan, while for others like Mayawati all Tatas & Birlas are rolled into one in now 1000 crore Ambedkar Park.

They don't have time or interest for even a customary press release for inviting Ratan Tata. They might not even be knowing, who knows. Not that Tata would have come.

The World Class Athelete

It was only five months back that Anju Bobby George had belittled PT Usha stating she and Milkha Singh were not world class atheletes.

The underlying suggestion was that since she had won a bronze medal in a world championship event, she automatically becomes one, though it hardly matters to her that she virtually did nothing before or after that.

Now the same self proclaimed "world class" athelete couldn't even make single valid jump in all her attempts at the Olympic.

What goes around comes around.

Oh My GO(L)D !

Yes, Bindra, you beauty, you did it! First ever individual gold by India !!!

Congratulations and Celebrations!

Next medal from whom ? Saina Nehwal ? Lets cheer!

23 Months

A Bad Hair Day



A Good Hair Day



A Bad Hair Day - Again

Funny Bone

If one sits down to ponder upon the funniest scenes ever written, we would have anthology of Golmaal, Chupke Chupke, Andaaz Apna Apna, Jaaney Bhi Do Yaaron apart from others where one would have laughed non-stop right from start till the end.

A few scenes would be more funny than the others. For instance in Golmaal there are three stand out ones - 1. The interview 2. Dina Pathak's dramatic escape from Mrs Srivastava to Mrs Sharma 3. The extended climax.

Chupke Chupke was no Golmaal, but it still was a very funny movie right from the concept, to casting. It began well, but just before the interval, it began to slag a little. However, if ever there were cameos used to perfection it was here. Amitabh Bachhan's Sukumar Sinha and Jaya Bhaduri's Vasudha brought a fresh life into the movie. The stand out scene ? I would say all the Corolla-Karela ones in second half, and Dharmendra-Omprakash Vishuddha Hindi Vartalaap in the first half.

It is hard to find a blemish in Andaaz Apnaa Apnaa - the best Santoshi flick along with Ghayal. I still remember myself laughing uncontrollably scene after scene, even if it was highly predictable, in the company of my friend Manish Mohan. I am not sure why wasn't the movie successful. Possibly it was the Pratibha curse. Those who have lived or are living in Lucknow would know.

There is a classy theatre called Pratibha, located at a premium location. However, it has some curse of sorts. It shows up only good movies, however some very decent movies have flopped over there! Probably the movie was ahead of its time.

Standout scene? Oh so many of them. In fact, all of them. Still, I would say - Aap Purush Nahin, Mahapurush Nain funda and the brilliant climax(Hey Amar, Is Mein To Goli Hi Nahin Hai, Salmaan-Shakti thumka fight), even as part of it was pinched from Victoria No 203.

Jaaney Bhi Do Yaaron is a satire. Not funny types to evoke laughter except perhaps the extraordinary expression of D'Mello corpse. Its an amazing landmark in Indian cinema. Kundan Shah is a rare talent unfortunately unable to cope up with changing time. Bad for us.

Talking about laugh riots, and how can we miss Govinda! My favourites are Deewana Mastana, and .. ahem .. Aankhein. Yes it was crude , cheesy and corny, but still the truth must be told. Against my wishes, I simply loved Aankhein. Especially, the rural Govinda - GauriShankar.

It was a laugh riot, and the favourite scene is undoubtedly when the girls bring Gaurishankar home instead of Bunnu. The part where he picks up the knife containing the apple was a killer. Also, Govinda's rendition of Chandramukhi was a never-before.

However, in my opinion, the funniest shot ever conceived, written, shot and acted is from Baby's Day Out when Baby Bink is burning the hell out of Joe Mantegna's reproductive system. Oh God, what expressions both from Baby and Joe. And the clincher came when Brian Haley 'extinguishes' it successfully with some nasty kicks, and proclaim proudly so.

But what about funny books or stories. We all laugh aloud when we see something funny, but only smile appreciatively when we read a similar one. Or is it that it is difficult to provoke as much as while reading ?

That day, while traveling to the office in the bus, imagine the shock of my neighbour when he saw me laughing uncontrollably while reading a story. In fact, I would have been rolling with laughter, had there been space to roll. It would only be fit to call it a 'fit' of laughter for I had to take a break from the reading in between because it was humanly impossible to read in that situation.

The short story is A Comedy In Capricorn by Morley Roberts.

I would reckon, undoubtedly, it is one of the most funniest stories ever written and even better than Road Dahl's Parson's Pleasure and O Henry's The Ransom Of Red Chief.

Unfortunately, you cannot find it at internet. There is a little known about the author, and more little about the story. However, you can find it at The Ruskin Bond Omnibus IV under the Laughter Omnibus. The book is double its worth with this story in it.

Money

Workers Earn It
Spendthrifts Burn It

Bankers Lend It
Women Spend It

Forgers Fake It
Taxes Take It

Dying Leave It
Heirs Receive It

Thrifty Save It
Misers Crave It

Robbers Seize It
Rich Increase It

Gamblers Lose It
I Could Use It

- Richard Armour

Himadri Tung Shring Se

Jaishshankar Prasad

Remember

A timeless piece by Christina Rossetti which I am sure you must have already read. No harm in doing that again.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

"Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

Jerome K. Jerome in Three Men in a Boat.

'Three Men in a Boat' is one of the funniest books ever written. Any self respecting book lover must have already read it. If not, time to make amends.

21 Months

Ethnic


Casual

Gunda Raj

Raj Thackrey is worried about the Dada-Giri of the North Indians. I will give him a little peek at our DNA.

By default, any north-indian with scruples doesn't indulge in Dada-Giri. However, for the incorrigible guttersnipes like you (either by way of birth or upbringing), we have a special method called instant gratification, when law makers fail.

In the aforementioned method, perfectly common place family folks like me turn into instant messiah of justice. What then follows is a nice little session of unceremenious, but serious public flogging. I have seen many autowallas running amok here like you and your ilk have been for a past couple of months. They too get away with all this hooliganism.

Not so in north. During your previous visit to Delhi you were just heckled by the journalists. That was comparatively sissy on their part. With kind of reputation you have gathered, do not venture next time for it will be a revelation for you. You might call that Dada-Giri, later.

Even otherwise, do not leave Mumbai. You have a protective shelter here in terms of your goons and patronising fathers. However, in north, slightly more degree of law of land exists there. When that's missing, then there is instant gratification. Anyway, your are too coward to even pretend your agression there.

Just one last point. My extravagant use of phrase "north indian" may suggest a chauvnism of your kind, but its not so. I don't have any such pride for geographical location. I love my roots, but won't hate you just because you don't share same roots.