Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Sarey Jahan Se Achha .... uncut

By Iqbal.

The song needs no introduction. The poet doesn't either.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Monday, October 15, 2007

Racially Discriminating, It Is!

I agree with Andrew Symonds, albeit partially. Its racially discriminating, but actually against us. Take, for instance, the two contrasting cases of Andrew Symonds and Mathew Hayden.

A look at Andrew Symonds, and it becomes plain that Humarey Purvaj Bandar The. With his not-so-new 'hair style' it appears that he has taken a straight walk down a tree or cave to the ground.

Anatomically, he looks like a mixed breed of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons, though I must admit neither of them were ever known to be found in Australia. But you can never be too sure of scientists. These days, they are questioning even the existence of God!

So how can you play a cricket match or for that matter any outdoor sport with a more physically superior species ? It is out an out racially discriminating!

I also agree when he says that he was surprised to see such wild celebrations after Twenty20 victory. I mean they were so many people in Mumbai, that forget his tribal caves, they were even more than the Australian population.

That's even if you add up monkeys, chimps, gorillas and orangutans found in the jungles & zoos of Australia. Ok, one may as well count his other jungle buddies like kangaroos and Gila monsters, but still numbers won't match up.

Then later there were so many good-for-nothing politicians on the stage - including Sharad Pawar - whom Aussies had shoved aside earlier in the World Cup - still none of the Indian players pushed them down from the stage. Me too was surprised. Honestly.

The cave man was also surprised by the gift and dollies offered to the winners. You can't really argue with this. I mean this is not according to the laws of jungle. Humans behave strangely, especially, the Indian ones. His tribals don't indulge in such lavishness.

In fact, he would admit, tribal laws are a bit unfair. They give less reward for victory, and punish more for losses. That's why its called jungle law, mate. He vividly remembers his chief had just given him two unpeeled bananas, and a raw thigh flash of a wild bore as the prize for his heroics in the World cup.

In contrast to that, when they had lost a match against Bangladesh in Natwest Trophy 2005, he was made to crouch on lukewarm raspberry nectar, mixed with a dead baboon's blood, after being hit 141 times on his naked backside by a fresh, but rough, bamboo branch. It stunk like a shit, and pained like a hell! In fact, it still does when he crouches to drop his daily dose of shit.

The most ironical part was that he didn't even play that match because of disciplinary action after his late night - or was it early morning - drinking binge! Now he knows that once he will be back home, he may get even worse treatment for losing against Zimbabwe in Twenty20 Cup. Laws of jungle, as I said.

All said and done, but no one can fault him for getting irritated to see Indians in every second advertisement on TV. You see, they are hardly any TV back in woods, and those there are, they only show Discovery, and Animal Planet where people either get swallowed alive by hungry crocodiles or get mortally stung by sting ray. Even the commercials in between have one animal or another. In fact, he himself had taken part in a few such ad campaigns.

Feels nice to see that animals getting due recognition in this human dominated world. But here in India, though they claim it to be the land of snakes and elephants, hardly any of them are represented in advertisements, except for that ugly dog which keeps showing for Vodafone. That's too few and far in between, and anyway, dogs these can hardly be termed as wild animals. They have almost regressed to corrupt human ways.

On the contrary, TV ads here in India are obscenely full of cricketers and movie stars. Its about time they start promoting the game in jungles, like they do back at home. Until then, viewing Indian advertisements will be the same - irritating.

Now coming to Hayden nee Haydos.

A complete contrast of Symonds. If latter is the blast from the past, then Hayden is back from the future. With a body of a tank, he looks like a advanced homeo sapience specie which will live on this mother earth 200 years from now.

He guzzles gallons of water, and is Christ fearing (hard to believe there would still be non Muslim believers by then). Usually walks down to the shot, and wields his bat like a menancing Gada.

Again, if this is not racism then what else is. The contest is not fair because they are not fit to be counted as humans.

Racism or no racism, Ian Chappel feels that if Shree Santh continues to behave like this, he will be another Shoaib Akhtar in no time. Chappel senior got it all wrong. Sree Santh never punches his own team mates, unlike Akhtar. I think, if Santh continues like this, he will be another Glen McGrath, for sure. And none of us, will mind that !

Labels: ,


Tuesday, October 09, 2007


God came to this Earth to destroy the sinners. Aryan has come to destroy spectacles. Three rimless already gone, and still counting.

I think either we both will shift to those economical and durable carbon frames, or get our eyes operated. It will be better than those recurring losses. Already, as Alka had predicted, things have started going out of windows.

He is already a Dhai Phutiya. Three racks in the kitchens have been cleaned to empty but still his hands, like Kanoon Ke Hanth, reach everywhere. He can open the latches and knobs. He can climb and alight the double bed and Diwan. The "Enter" key of my not-so-old Laptop has been unhooked by him. A perfectly clean room done just three minutes back looks like a mad house in no time.

Nothing is safe anywhere.

Loo is an enigma for him. He wonders what happens inside there. He is always interested, and keeps on banging the door. Twice he has locked me in. He will be pretty disappointed when he comes to know all about it.

Here a few collages.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket