United Western Bank

During past few days, we have learnt about how this bank has become sick, how its loans are getting defaulted, and how its investments have turned into bad investments. And the management had been doing nothing about this!

As a consequence, the Reserve Bank of India has put it under moratorium against any financial activity.

Though all this has happened now, I had smelt the rat seven years ago.

It so happened that when I shifted to Pune, we were particularly awestruck by two phenomenon in Pune - number of banks & number of restraunts per square KM. Arguably, the highest in India.

The place where we(I and my friend Ashutosh Nandan) made our base - the closest bank in our vicinity was United Western Bank.

I had never heard of this bank, but it sounded familiar because the closest bank in my neighbourhood back home in Lucknow was United Bank. Both were just a three minute walk from the respective places.

I and Ashutosh decided to get our accounts open in this United Western Bank itself.

However, the inside premises of the bank was a shock to our banking sensibilities. Not a single customer was to be seen inside, while a two or three clerks were gossiping around at the corner. The place was as spic and span as a temple.

We thought, we were early birds so we proceeded ahead. The moment whatever-little-staff caught our glimpse, they jumped from there seats to greet us and when they learnt about our honourable intentions, they immediately provided us the necessary forms with the guide lines how to fill it.

Like I said before, it shocked us no ends. You see, back home, our banking experience, and for that matter any sarkari experience, has been way different from that.

Bank staff there thinks they are doing a great favour on us whenever we go for some services, and even for opening an account. If you want to get a draft done, it would take a whole day. Draft cannot be fetched before 3.30 PM unless one has a jack.

If one wants to encash a cheque, take a token and go home. Come back after an hour or two, and wait further for fifteen minutes to get the amount.

A new account opening is the Mission Impossible. One has to fetch another person as guaranteer who has an account in that bank. Then those address proofs et cetra.

But here is the most interesting part. Suppose you go to a bank branch for the first time, and you want to know where is where. You accost a clerk at the nearest window, and then ask - "Bhai Sab/Madam, where do we submit the cheques?". No response. In fact, the person wouldn't even look at you. You ask again, and no response again.

After the third appeal, if you have been observing the clerk's face very attentively, that person will give a brief, almost unnoticeable nod, indicating the direction in which it happens but not the actual place.

Obliged, you would go in that direction and catch hold of another clerk, and same process follows. This will keep on happening until you converge upon the actual destination. Looks familiar? Yes - similar to Newton Raphson method!

Then to get the actual job done, it would be another ordeal.

So when this unheard, unbanking, unclerical behaviour occurred with us at the United Western Bank, it appeared somewhat fishy to us. We took staff's leave on the pretext that we haven't brought photographs along, though they were neatly tucked in our pockets, never to return again.

On hindsight, we in fact saved our hard earned money! Thank God for those so customer unfriendly banks back home!

PS: Later I learned that as far as public sector banks are concerned(SBI, Bank Of India, PNB), the story is same in Pune as well, though a little better(Canara Bank).