Or Is It Just Me ?

Is there any divine conspiracy, or is it just me ? Have a look at the most interseting series of events which have happened with me for past one year.

- My electric juicer stopped functioning within 15 months of the purchase. I tried getting it fixed with all my might. Three different mechanic shops, including the company couldn't resurrect it. Each one giving the same answer: Saab Yeh Nahin Theek Ho Sakta!

- Next in line was my Philip DVD player, which was gifted to me by my dear friend Nandan 2.5 years back. It stopped functioning after 2 years and just wouldn't play. Different mechanics, this time, but same answer. Nahin ban sakta. My plain query of - Aisa Kya Ho Gaya Hai Jo Nahin Ban Sakta - earned no response.

- I recently shifted to a new rented apartment, barely 400 meters away from my previous one. So I needed to change my address for my gas connection - Bharat Gas. The concerned franchise refused to do so stating that area doesn't come under their coverage, passing the buck to another agency much farther located.

By mere chance of cross checking at my neighbourhood, I found they were serving in that building since eternity. Confronting with this new information, and reminding them of my previous action against them made them change their mind.

- This shifting also involved my informing YouTelecom, my broadband service provider. Since they have a big advertisement board, bang inside my current society, I confidently approached them for the address change. While I signed the form for my changed address, the clerk returned with termination form explaning there is no service in my society.

I elaborated in detail about the advertisement board etc, and that it is on main road etc but of no avail. Yet another lady came from inside with a changed version, that there is some signal problem there, and that they have recently terminated the services of all the customers there.

I reluctantly signed the termination letter, only to know a week later that the very flat below mine has a full and flourishing Youtele connection!

Now, even if one, for a moment, happens to agree with Raj Thackrey, then Mumbai will also start facing this Pune like situation, where service provider doesn't think twice about the customer because the business is so much in abundance, hence he or she will always earn good money.

I am really mighty frustrated.

Mee Punekar (Replies)

Sudipta has put the cat amongst the pigeons, by forwarding my post to Desipundit as a result there has been a sudden flurry of comments in my box. I thought it would be better if I replied in full post here.

Kusum Rohra: Sorry as much I tried to find, I couldn't find it. However, even yesterday when the bail acceptance was put on TOI, along with each culprit, there home city name was also mentioned in parenthesis. They get so horrifically wrong with the facts that they mentioned Yamunanagar in Uttar Pradesh, which in fact is in Harayana.

Karlton: Sorry, I somehow forgot that and so did I forget the incident of blackening of the face Fergusson College principal - another landmark in the city synonymous with its culture.

Vick: Yes Vick, I remember. It was just an year back in March when Meher Bhargava was killed. Issues and their severity are different. But as I said then, a criminal is a criminal whether outsider or insider, and s/he should be punished according to law of land. This post is not about not punishing the offenders, if they are destroying the basic fabric of the city, but about the sheer hypocrisy.

Its a human nature, but when the debates carried to national newspapers and channels, then it kind of project wrong picture to people all over.

Shriniwas : Yes, I agree that all can't be painted in same colour. I have mentioned specific events which are related to specific persons. I think during our parents time, the things were different. Now we are at different times, and this intolerance is slowly but surely increasing.

HP: So true, what more can be said. Some are more, and some are less.

Sarang: I guess you have read the post in complete haste. Never ever in my post did I mention about Maharashtrians. You can read again. This is in general not only my view. The Maharashtrians from other cities to have the problem coming here. People from places like Nanded, Jalgaon, Beed, Akola, Usmanabad, Solapur, Satara, Sangli are treated same way.

However, due to lack of information, and some "IN GENERAL" information, you have lot of prejudices and misconceptions to which you may not agree. I am not talking about IN GENERAL prejudices and misconceptions others have here, because that I have talked about earlier too, but only yours.

Misconception # 1: North indians are not immune to similar feeling...just that they haven't been expressed yet, because who after all,in his right mind, will go to U.P,Bihar, M.P., Rajasthan to live and work?No one. If maharashtrians tmrw start moving there, I assure you that you (or other north indians) might make similar statements.

You might be surprised to know that since you mentioned about Marwaris, and Gujaratis which throng to Maharashtra, they also do in huge numbers other part of North India , and settle there. So do Punjabis, Bengalis, Kashmirs in large numbers and Tamils, Kannadas, Malayalis, and Telgus in lesser numbers. And yes, all in their right frame of mind. And no ethnic statements till now.

Misconception # 2: The point you haven't mentioned is that North Indians come to Mahrashtra, settle here and then often, try and project how superior unka des is(read one comment above). The fact is that they have come here to escape the lack of industry, law and order,education in their state. So its a bit rich for them to say this.

The comment which you have mentioned is from one North Indian to other North India staying just 200 kms away, and that too in jest.

True that they come here for lack industry, but industry is not someone's ancestral property. Its for the talented and deserving, whoever it may be. If you are then you get the job, and if I am, then I get. Companies go there and fish for talent, if they don't get here. Despite all this, people are neither exactly begging there, nor are they dying of hunger.

About law and order. Of all my life I lived there, I wasn't exactly lynched. Nor are the people are who are living there currently.

Now the education. Now if you are talking about Pune's colleges, let me inform you, barring a few, rest of them are sheer PR exercise. These institutions are there to unload people's pockets, and as far as standard of education in them, I know it inside out. Sheer junk.

About the school education, you won't believe it - its as good as yours in cities. They crack national level exams like IIT-JEEs, IIMs, ICS, CBSEs, PMTs, NDA, Olympiads, NTSEs and whatever you can think of, unlike here. And nobody comes here to study in the schools here anayway.

Misconception # 3: The other fact is that north indians, IN GENERAL, bring the same 'fix it', 'law is for asses' atitude in day to day life. Remember I said IN GENERAL. This is their general outlook to life- since they havee been brought up in such a society- as compared to Mahrashtra, South India and Bengal- which, IN GENERAL, are more law abiding, in their outlook.

Didn't you see Raj Thackrey's press conference? Haven't you heard about Bal Thackerey? Who is this Arun Gawli? Haven't you traveled by autos here? If you want to know about their basic law abiding outlook read this. How come a policeman raped a school girl in police chowky? What do you know about rural Bengal? What happened in Banglore for a week when Rajkumar died? Why did people burnt a school bus containing children in Tamil Nadu when Jayayalalita was convicted? Why did they involve in vandalism at BORI? Why did they burnt whole Singhania hospital in Thane after throwing patients out when one a Shiv Sena office bearer died of accident? Is this law abiding? Or was the killing of Mahatma Gandhi? Lets not get into this loop.

The more you are literate, the more law abiding you tend to be. People here are more literate. But in 15 years or so, even this gap will be bridged.

Misconception # 4: People like you who fail to realize this and just attack Mahrashtrians and make one sided statements are educated but not wise.

I repeat, never once I talked about Maharashtrians or North Indians because I believe we all are Indians. Its only TOIs reporter and you are talking so, I am afraid.

Mee Punekar, Rest (Ko)Baharkar

Move over Mee Mumbaikar, here comes the breed of holier-than-thou "Punekar". Really, I have rarely seen a more hypocrite breed of citizens as these. If you are wondering what's the provocation, then I would point the recent episode of Rave party as one, but not the only one.

See, if this had been a drugs party in any other city, and people were caught, given the degree of this event, it would have been treated like another event. Guilty would have been caught, and punished. Nothing more.

However in Pune, there has been a clamour of self denial.

Its not us. Its the people from outside who are responsible. By outside we mean the students , the BPO and software professionals who have settled from outside, and we also mean the people who had come only for the party - from Mumbai, MP, Delhi, Rajasthan, UP and Bihar. But certainly not us - the sons of soil. Not a single one of us. And even if there is one - s/he must be spoilt by the outsiders.

A reporter of local Times Of India - Gitesh Shelke - indulged in such ridiculous reporting that it can't be explained in words. It can only be read and realized. It was clearly not a report, rather an an opinionated outburst against non Punekars - those who are supposedly destroying the 'culture' of the city.

Then this weekend, Regatta, the annual boating event of College of Engineering Pune(COEP) also included the Rave party in their annual theme, indicating how the original 'culture' of Pune getting destroyed.

Icing on the cake came when the debate reached national TV - CNN-IBN. Educational thinkers of Pune like some lady from Symbiosis Institute, along with local landlords made one party, while students made another. Topic was when in Rome, behave like Romans.

On went the lectures on Maryada and Seema that these students should not be crossing. Same hypocrites conveniently forgot how one amongst them had installed webcams in his house's bedroom and bathroom to make videos of the girl tenants! And how a gymnasium owner had put - again -a webcam in changing room! Or what about that unsuspecting college girl that was raped by policeman in Pune University campus.

Arrrg..... exceptions should be ignored, please.

Whither exceptions? Haven't you vested the famed Saras Bagh? Haven't you been accosted by prostitutes in Budhwar Peth or besides Mangla Talkies. Haven't you seen nauseating child prostitution in Lonawala and Khandala. Promiscuity is rampant my dear brethrens, if you allow me to call you one.

This is not the first time such a debate has happened. A few years ago, there was ragging episode in Law College in Pune. All of them who were caught were non Punekars. What a hue and cry there was! They were all suspended. Again Pune's culture was in danger.

Symbiosis Institute's head - some Majumdar - who had absolutely nothing to do with this, poked his nose in. He wrote an open letter to SOS( Sons of Other States) in Times Of India - to behave themselves or they would be chucked out of the city. Then there were a counter letters. Things reached to shameful level. Meanwhile TOI made its millions.

Now I will show you there double standards. These only institutes - Symbiosis, Law College, Bharti Vidyapeeth, DY Patil, MIT etc put full blown advertisements in north Indian newspapers - days after days to attract students. Criterion will not be merit, but money. Obscene money.

So what do they think - Ramanujam and CV Ramans would come to Pune. Many of them are rich dad's good for nothing off springs.

Then where are the facilties? Meagre hostels. I bet there are more fancy courses than hostels. Hardly anything worthwhile would be taught. Coaching Institutes are there to teach them, not the colleges. The standard is pathetic, and more than 50% don't get a job.

Now, when there are no hostels, so they would reside in apartments. Landlords would charge them Rs 8000 for one BHK, and deposit of Rs 80000. Who can afford that? Afterwards, with their rich life style these guys landlords only develop complex. So at first they want huge money, for that purpose they would rent out to rich students, and then they only would ask them to behave.

My neighbouring flats always had bachelors as residents for past 4 years, and none of them troubled me. During Diwali, when I asked them kindly not to explode crackers near my the flat because that may trouble young Aryan, they readily complied.

On the contrary, my local neighbours, the family ones, refused point blankly. So would the other young college going society boys despite requests. "Arey Sula Ker Rakho Usey", "Abhi(sic) Diwali Ko To Chhodenga Na Phataka".

On the name of Ganpati and Janmashtami Chanda, they would fall just short of threatening. One guy from society was ready to pounce on me when refused. Before that, they kept on banging door like hooligans. Go and teach them manners.

I will give you one more live example of double standards which will shock you no end. One of my friend - a very shy and noble soul to the core - received the shock of his life when his landlord called up told that society chairman has complained that he brings girls to his room. Now 'bringing' girl is no crime or sin per se, but I can vouch that he must have hardly spoken to a girl in a year or two, leave alone bringing home.

Later society chairman accepted he has lied because one of my friend's neighbour was insecure just because that guy worked in Mumbai, and his wife was alone at home! So he wanted my friend to be thrown out. Would you believe it?

Then there are these numerous incidents like deflating motorbike tyres by your local neighbours so that one may leave that housing society. Why don't they teach Puneri culture to them and autowallahs first who are committing daylight robberies.

Like I have said before, outsiders must behave and whatever these cases may be, guilty should be punished. But do not put up a public trial, and before blaming others en masse - Apne Gireban Mein Bhi Jhank Ker Dekho. Kabul Mein Bhi Gadhey Hote Hain.

Road Rage

This post is about road safety. We might consider it to be trivial issue, but believe me, they are tricky and can be life threatening too.

Incident 1:
In Pune every year, I come across at least one road rage issue, mostly involving autorickshaw drivers. And as a third party witness, there is one case every week.

On Saturday evening, I was driving my car along the narrow Apte road, when suddenly an autorickshaw brushed my vehicle, while overtaking from the left and stopped it front of me.

Earlier, when my car was new, these brushes, dents, bumps use to pain me a lot. However, apart from cold stare, I would not create a scene because it was pointless to create Tamasha for others. These days, I hardly even pay attention and display disappointment.

So I was ready to move on, when this tall, dark and fat rikshaw driver alighted, and started shouting something in Marathi. After a while it dawned on me that the guy claimed I had hit is vehicle so I must alight and pay him. He even started pulling door latch, but since I keep the doors locked it didn't budge.

In the beginning was I amused. But soon he started showing his cocked fists at me. That raised my tempers, but I still did not step out. Meanwhile, Aryan started crying too. I just pulled down the window glass and asked him to beg somewhere else with some other reason, and drove off.

But to think of it, it was a clear cut case of extortion. He himself brushed his vehicle against mine, and instead asked money from me. He thought with a family containing a lady & a small kid with me, and with an Uttar Pradesh vehicle registration number, I would give easy money to avoid trouble. His hundred kilogram body, he thought, was his asset, and his fist wielding would make me piss in my pants.

However, I was better prepared than he thought. I know these arguments can take physical turn. Who knows what someone posses as a weapon it can be a rod, a cycle chain, even a gun. Who knows. And this man was already threatening to go physical.

For my and my family's safety, I keep all the doors of the car locked. Whenever, any such argument takes place, I take out the keys from ignition. And, you wouldn't believe it, but I also keep a small box filled with red chilly powder in the car. Usually, it boils down to the fact that the person who takes the first step is the one who gets lesser harmed.

Till now, I never had to use the chilly powder, but I wouldn't hesitate in using it for my defense. I suggest everyone to take some step for your road safety as well. Its a bad bad world out there.

Incident 2:
This one is a case of Mansik Diwaliyapan of Pune's police. On Saturday night, a couple was driving home when their scooter hit a pothole. Both of them got grievously injured with wife dying of her injuries later. Shockingly, the police has lodged the case of negligent driving against the husband!

What about the potholes and night lamps, Copper ? Incorrigible idiots.

Aminabad vs Laxmi Road

It was Dhanterus a few days back. Believers amongst the Hindus buy something, especially the female ones (Here I must add that it is not necessary to be a believer or a Hindu to buy something).

Aminabad and Laxmi Road are the major shopping places in Lucknow and Pune, respectively. Not of the branded kind. It is mostly the local, indigenous, and modestly cheap stuff, which is found here. Both are huge markets, and always have great rush - festival or no festival.

They look similar, but only superficially. Scratch the surface, and you see the difference.

Aminabad is an orderly chaos. In the narrow labyrinths and mazes of its lanes and bylanes which run into kilometers, you will find every item under the Sun. Exquisite chikan work, and amazing food are its specialty. Every shop floor space has been taken, each pavement is encroached.

The place is biggest feminist statement that one can give out. The odds of finding a male specimen in that place are no more than finding the same in a convent. That's one place where the male-female ratio in the country - in favour of females - is something to boast about. Even the most claustrophobic or demophobic female would be at utter peace with the place. They would feign fake reluctance, but throng the place with extreme vengeance.

Not that men aren't there at all. Usually, they are on the wrong side - the utterly demure shopkeepers. Some of them could be found devouring delicious Galawati Kebabs at 'Tunde Kebabi', or enjoying Kulfi Falooda from 'Prakash Ki MashHoor Kulfi'. And if you still find some shopping, rest assured that they are more an observer than a participant.

If bargaining is an art, then Lucknowites are master at it. But beware, they know difference between bargaining and haggling. This amazing battle ground is right here in Aminabad, and its fun to be part of this game. I have been a witness to many such battles since childhood, when I accompanied my parents and at that time I used to a bit embarrassed of all this.

The shopkeepers are incredibly polite and recklessly persuasive. Even when one is passing by a shop, and has no intention to enter to it, every effort to persuade, except physical, will be made to lure him/her to the shop. New relationships like Bhaiyya, Didi, Beti, Beta develop out of blue. Any outsider, would be pleasantly shocked, but locals know it better.

Inside the shop, you can do window shopping or just idle. No bar. Attendants would tirelessly show whatever catches your fancy, praising the customer's eye for good taste. Meanwhile a cold drink or tea would be at your side, many times without even asking the customer. My mother likes this idea big time, and heavily favours such seemingly caring and benevolent shopkeepers.

Once you have selected the item, bargaining starts. That can last as long as both the parties want. At the end of it, you might have seen thousand items, enquired about the prices of another thousand, and still you might end buying nothing. But no hard feelings. Shopkeepers still have kind departing words for you. Sometimes, they even bring back the customer from the door giving another 'fantastic' offer!

Probably, that's why a long term relationship develops between customer and shopkeeper. All in all, an absolute paradise for the shoppers.

Laxmi Road is more orderly than chaotic. The variety is same, except it is Puneri, than Luckhnawi. Items are good albeit very costly, and unlike Lucknow, they can't be brought down to your price by bargaining. And here lies the difference.

The famous 'Sadashivi Pethi' attitude of Laxmi Road, so eloquently expressed by great Pu La Deshpande comes into picture. He had said that most unvaluable and negligible thing found in Pune shops is customer. They are treated with utter contempt.

Shopkeepers are brusque, and seemingly rude. Window shopping is big no. The concept here just doesn't exists. The moment customer enters a shop, s/he starts getting cold vibes. Worse still, nobody will come forward to cater you. In fact, if you decide to walk out, it just might go unnoticed. They simply don't care if you buy or not.

Bargain at you own risk. Problem is not just of no success. You might be outrightly refused business, and rudely at that. Apney Ko Maal Nahin Bechney Ka!

Still, I would say one can do without above. The biggest problem is of choice. One has to be very precise of his needs. They will keep on asking you what 'egzhactly' you want without actually bothering to show you the stuff you can choose amongst. They don't deal in abstract, you see.

I remember, once I went to a very big and famous shop called Abhyankar Opticals for my Specs. When I asked the attendant to show the frames, he straight away asked me the number of my lense which is usually the last thing asked. When I asked him the reason, I was informed the type of frame depends upon the number of lense.

That was news to me.

Then this guy started showing me thick rimmed carbon frames which people used to wear in early seventies. I rejected them in one go, and asked for light, rimless ones. To my shock he flatly refused. With my number, which wasn't much anyway, he announced I can't wear rimless. I insisted, and he refused again.

Felt pity for his customers, including me, I walked off. Its another matter, I later bought a rimless one from the shop of a Sindhi. Pu La Deshpande was great observer and writer, I agreed. The most amazing aspect about these shops is that they are always closed from 2 PM to 4PM, for daily siesta.

Despite all of this, every one seems to be doing great business. This is because of the high disposable income with the people.

I bet if Lucknow shoppers come and set shop here, they will triple the money they make back home.

Teething Troubles

Where in world do they suggest root canalling for a four year old kid who still has milk teeth?

I am not sure where they teach, but they practise right here in Pune.

United Western Bank

During past few days, we have learnt about how this bank has become sick, how its loans are getting defaulted, and how its investments have turned into bad investments. And the management had been doing nothing about this!

As a consequence, the Reserve Bank of India has put it under moratorium against any financial activity.

Though all this has happened now, I had smelt the rat seven years ago.

It so happened that when I shifted to Pune, we were particularly awestruck by two phenomenon in Pune - number of banks & number of restraunts per square KM. Arguably, the highest in India.

The place where we(I and my friend Ashutosh Nandan) made our base - the closest bank in our vicinity was United Western Bank.

I had never heard of this bank, but it sounded familiar because the closest bank in my neighbourhood back home in Lucknow was United Bank. Both were just a three minute walk from the respective places.

I and Ashutosh decided to get our accounts open in this United Western Bank itself.

However, the inside premises of the bank was a shock to our banking sensibilities. Not a single customer was to be seen inside, while a two or three clerks were gossiping around at the corner. The place was as spic and span as a temple.

We thought, we were early birds so we proceeded ahead. The moment whatever-little-staff caught our glimpse, they jumped from there seats to greet us and when they learnt about our honourable intentions, they immediately provided us the necessary forms with the guide lines how to fill it.

Like I said before, it shocked us no ends. You see, back home, our banking experience, and for that matter any sarkari experience, has been way different from that.

Bank staff there thinks they are doing a great favour on us whenever we go for some services, and even for opening an account. If you want to get a draft done, it would take a whole day. Draft cannot be fetched before 3.30 PM unless one has a jack.

If one wants to encash a cheque, take a token and go home. Come back after an hour or two, and wait further for fifteen minutes to get the amount.

A new account opening is the Mission Impossible. One has to fetch another person as guaranteer who has an account in that bank. Then those address proofs et cetra.

But here is the most interesting part. Suppose you go to a bank branch for the first time, and you want to know where is where. You accost a clerk at the nearest window, and then ask - "Bhai Sab/Madam, where do we submit the cheques?". No response. In fact, the person wouldn't even look at you. You ask again, and no response again.

After the third appeal, if you have been observing the clerk's face very attentively, that person will give a brief, almost unnoticeable nod, indicating the direction in which it happens but not the actual place.

Obliged, you would go in that direction and catch hold of another clerk, and same process follows. This will keep on happening until you converge upon the actual destination. Looks familiar? Yes - similar to Newton Raphson method!

Then to get the actual job done, it would be another ordeal.

So when this unheard, unbanking, unclerical behaviour occurred with us at the United Western Bank, it appeared somewhat fishy to us. We took staff's leave on the pretext that we haven't brought photographs along, though they were neatly tucked in our pockets, never to return again.

On hindsight, we in fact saved our hard earned money! Thank God for those so customer unfriendly banks back home!

PS: Later I learned that as far as public sector banks are concerned(SBI, Bank Of India, PNB), the story is same in Pune as well, though a little better(Canara Bank).

Noise Pollution

My worst nightmares have come to be true.

Himesh 'Nasal' Reshamiya has made an ear-drums-shattering debut in Ganpati Pandaals in Pune this time. Like God, he is all around and pervading.

This is apart from Radio Mirchis(what an apt name), Radio Cities, Mtvs etc. Omkaaras of world have had little or no effect. Even Dons are no match.

Time deadline for Reshamiya and other noise pollutions is 10.PM. My society starts nuisance around that time, and that goes till 12.PM or so.

Ab Kya Karein? Aaye Na Mujhko Sukoon! Zunoon Zunoon Zunoon Zunooooon !!!!

It Works

I don't know whether many of you are aware, that there is a Department Of Administrative Reforms & Public Grievances, under the Ministry of Personnel, Public Grievances & Pensions, Government Of India.

They have a functional website http://darpg-grievance.nic.in/. By the word functional I mean that you can log an online complaint against any organization/department under the purview of Government Of India( read Sarkari), if at all you have any issues regarding the functioning of that department, and that your complaint is actually looked into and is moved towards resolution.

Ok, I am not saying this just because I have heard this from someone or have received a forwarded email. I have had a logged a complaint and the concerned authority within three months was asked to resolve my issue. Here are the details.

When I shifted to Pune, some seven years ago, I took a Reliance Gas connection, as the franchisee was located in my immediate neighbourhood. The rates were almost same, and connection was given hassle free.

But gradually, the rates began to increase every month, and now they are Rs 200=00 more than the government rate. Moreover, the franchisee shut shop, and every time I needed a refilling, it took several phone calls, and whole day to get that done. I decided to shift to Bharat Gas.

The franchisee by Bharat Gas was run by crooks( usually that is the case). They would keep on dill-dallying, and ask me to come at odd hours (2.30 pm). Weekends they won't effectively function, and at the top of it they were forcing to buy a gas stove as well, which I already had. When we try to reason out with them about this, the staff would talk rudely.

Total cost of connection quoted - Rs 5200=00.

I had enough, and decided to move to Pune Consumer Protection Council. I had made up mind that I would teach these guys a lesson, even at the cost of me not getting a connection.

But before doing so, I got this aforementioned link form some where. I decided to try my luck there anticipating a cipher response. I lodged me grievance quoting this franchisee's name and address, and forgot the whole stuff.

Three months later, that is at the end of last month, I got a call from this franchisee. They had received a directive from Bharat Petroleum, who in turn had received a directive from a Joint Secretary in Ministry Of Petroleum to resolve this issue.

They were ready to give me two cylinders, sans gas stove, sans house address proof at the actual cost of Rs 2740=00. Not only that, a senior guy from Bharat Petroleum also visited my place to "solve" the issue and apologize from their side.

All this at my leisure. And unless and until I don't a write a letter to Bharat Petroleum, the issue at their side will remain open, and they will keep on hounding the franchisee. I have done that, and now they breathe easy, and I saved my money.

So guys, though this is unbelievable and unheard in India, but this thing exists, and works. From Post Office to Police Office, it will work. That's from horse's mouth.

One Big Slum

Kabir said....
Ati Ka Bhala Na Bolna, Ati Ki Bhali Na Choop
Ati Ka Bhala Na Barasna, Ati Ki Bhali Na Dhoop

How well Mumbiites and Delhites will relate to the second line! Till only two years back, one would talk of Mumbai rains with a romantic tinge. These days it brings fear of God.

They say once private builders move into a city, the 'slummisation' of the city begins. Today this city is one big slum - of concrete. The builder-politico nexus has virtually killed the city.

Generally, in any city, the walled city is the haphahazard one, and the new areas are better planned and livable. In Mumbai it's the reverse. That means that there has been no planned new construction.

One has to look at a Hyderabad or a Delhi to learn what planned construction is all about.

Pune too is going Mumbai's way, or should I say already gone. On every hillock, and every pit, you can see apartments coming up without any proper roads. Whatever roads were there are either very narrow, or they have been washed away in the just-begun monsoons.

There is no entity called Pune Development Authority, while most other cities do have. They might have never developed a single apartment over here. Builders do it all. But they don't make roads. Corporation guys don't seem to do that either.

I pity those people who pay obscene sum to the builders, after taking ridiculous amount of loan, for the nth floor flat, in a building which lies in the remotest pit of the city with no roads, no corporation water, and no shops around.

One day, that pit will also get filled with rain water. Like it did last year.

This is what I call a slum, even though its not by the strict definition. Bad town planning has killed this paradise.

Real(i)ty Check

Old timers said what goes up, comes down. Only that they didn't know why?

This was until Isaac Newton was hit by an apple, and discovered gravity which became the part of our text books.

Still people do ignore gravity at their peril. What happens then? They fall with a thud!

Didn't that happen with the stock market? Didn't that happen with the commodities? And its gonna happen to Real Estate too - sooner or later.

For the first two, gravity has already prevailed well over greed. Investors are down on the ground with a huge thud! For the Real Estate, its just the beginning of the end.

The economists say - the whole equation is of demand and supply. Prices are function of that. There is huge demand of houses in India, and hence the gravity defying soar in the prices.

Logic is too simplistic, and as Albert Einstein famously said - It Takes A Genius To See The Obvious, the people here are missing the obvious.

Demand, for houses in the country has always been. Just that now highly-paid-loan-happy techies are in the rush to buy house(s). But one would say that techies haven't come out of thin air, since they are the part of country's populace so where is so called extra "demand"?

I agree and disagree. The demand is there, but way too artificial.

Usually, people buy a house and stay in that.But now days people also buy a house to "invest". Why this in double quotes? This is because you invest when you have money.

In today's scenario people borrow from the bank for twenty years, and then they invest in Real Estate. Would any sane fellow call this investment? Not me, if you consider me one.

Ok, with some argument I still would call it an investment if the net inflow is positive. That is you are earning money at the end of the day. How would that happen?

This would happen when you would rent your property and earn some money. But that money would be guzzled up by the Equated Monthly Installments. Even then it is fine when the rent is greater than equal to EMI. But that usually doesn't happen.

So people just stay put in the hope that though rent may be less, property rates are increasing day by day, and one is also saving income tax(maximum up to 83000/per annum). But here lies the catch. This supply-demand-price equation is a vicious circle.

Any asset class should yield returns over the investment. Usually, when these returns are good, price of that asset remains firm. But if returns start diminishing, there is a fall in the prices of that asset.

But why would return start diminishing? Answer would be affordability. The tenants who live in these houses can't afford these rates(and their hikes) for ever. Inflation would eventually catch up, and therefore there could be a collective drop in rent market.

This would mean return on the yield to the property owner crashes. That means the market of that asset is no longer lucrative. Hence crash in the price of that asset class would also get triggered.

That's what happened with metals recently. Demand was keeping the prices firm. But at a point industry could no longer afford such prices as profit margins shrunk, inflation shot up. Then came the cruel crash, which also triggered the crash in share markets across the glob.

One should remember that these asset markets are largely linked to sentiments, and unlike good sentiments, bad ones translate faster across other.

The other negative factor is the norms issued by RBI. Loan for properties have become tougher. Moreover, both floating and fixed rates have also shot through the roof. A twenty year loan four years back has virtually become 26 year loan. RBI fears defaulting of such loans.

One would do well to remember the 1994 property crash, which lead to a bear market in Real Estate for eight long years.

Time is ripe for Real Estate. There are already tell-tale signs. Property prices in the suburbs of Chandigarh, Mohali and Panchkula have decreased by 15% during last month. For Jaipur and Surat drop is even more at 25%.

So beware guys. Those of who own one house for self residence rest easy, but those who have recently invested in a second house, might be in a for a shock.

Finally, This Time.

The Rail Budget 2006, for the state of Bihar is out, but I am glad to see a few trains for other states too. Nothing is more gladdening than the introduction of much awaited weekly Lucknow-Pune Express.

Weekly is less, but then Bhaagtey Bhoot Ki Langoti Bhali.

I, like many of my ilk, had been waiting for ages for this much expected, much make-sense connectivity. There are thousands of Lucknowites, and Kanpurites at this place and the traveling for them has been an agony.

The current options are as follows.

-Going to Mumbai and catching early morning Pushpak Express. Not possible to reach Mumbai from Pune that early, so try catching the other one from Kurla. But Kurla is hell. Reservation ends up in waiting just after five minutes because of much demand.

-Going to Jhansi(Jhelum Express), and taking a bus or train to Lucknow. Barring one particular day, there is no connecting train to Lucknow. Condition of buses are hopeless to say the least. At their leisurely pace, they take SEVEN hours to reach the 200KM distant Kanpur, and another two and a half to a further 80 km far Lucknow.

-Going to Allahabad(Gyanganga Express), and taking a train or bus to 200 km distant Lucknow. Buses are good, connectivity is good, and trains options are also decent. Moreover, I have a welcome option to stay over an acquaintance's place, which I usually do, and move to Lucknow next day.

But still a pain of a detour. Usually, an extra day is lost - to and fro each.

By God's and Lalu grace - this one is a breather. The only pain would be the lack of pantry for the first year, as usual. But, will manage. Thanks God for small mercies.

Move Over Banglore, Here Comes Pune

Pune is the new capital of traffic snarls, rudely snatching this dubious distinction from Banglaore. I never knew it meant to be this when they talked about Pune's ambition is to upstage Bangalore. The traffic has been left to dogs, Maneka Gandhi please take notice.

Every arterial and peripheral road is choked. The down city areas had always made a strong case of choke-n-block, but what is more alarming are the entry points to the city. Within 100 meters from where city is suppose to end, traffic blockages start. To cross, a distance of a quarter of kilometer it takes more than half an hour.

Reason ? Myopic town planning, narrow entry roads, made worse by encroachment to the fullest, and who are doing these encroachments? The usual suspects like autowallahs, thelawallahs are only the small players. The biggest encroachers are Pune Municipal Transport(PMT) buses!

In the act of blatant flouting of rules, one third of PMT buses stand on the main thoroughfare instead PMT Depot at Kothrud, and Pune traffic department sleeps. Of course, there is no money to make there.

Last, but in no way least the traffic sense of the public, which believes in "see an inch, grab the inch". But then, the only progress will be exactly that - "an inch". Shortcuts never work.

Mehngayi Maar Gayi

Consider this.

A litre of petrol in Pune: 46.43/-
A litre of petrol in Delhi: 39.99/-

Road Tax for a Santro in Pune: 20000/-
Road Tax for a Santro in Kanpur: 8000/-

House Tax For 1000 sq ft Flat in Pune: 3100/-
House Tax For 24000 sq ft Bunglow in Lucknow: 1200/-

The list goes on. On the current sitution, two songs come to my mind - First from Film: Paigham, Music: C. Ramchandra, Lyrics: Kavi Pradeep, Voice: Mohd. Rafi. I don't remember the complete lyris.

Kaise Diwali Manai Hum Lala
Apna To Barah Mahine Diwala
Ham To Hue Dekho Than Than Gopala
Apna To Barah Mahine Diwaala...

The other one is from Film: Roti Kapda Aur Makaan, Music: Laxmikant-Pyarelal, Lyrics: Varma Malik, Voice: Mukesh, Lata, Narendra Chanchal, Jani Babu Qawwal.

The Memories Of Midnight

Borrowing the title from a Sydney Sheldon novel, I have had a memorable previous night. The electricity supply to our colony got snapped at about twelve in the night, and was restored only at six in the morning.

However, just beyond the realms of our housing society, lights were at the brightest as if cocking a snook at us. At the same time, our blood made a sumptuous dinner to the lurking mosquitoes. Needless to say, I could hardly catch a wink.

The most ironical part, however, was the fact that there was such a lovely breeze blowing outside, but not a whiff would enter in our rooms, no matter how many windows are open. Once again I cursed the 'Flat' system, and their builders. Missed the good old nights on the terrace of my house, back home in Lucknow.

Power outage or no power outage, if it was summers, all the fun use to shift to the terrace. Come evening, and we use to pack our 'folding' beds and bed sheets to the roof. For some, as little as a Chatai or a Dari would suffice. Few high rise buildings in the residential area meant there was no stopping to that gentle Purvaiyya.

The fun use to get double when some cousin would be visiting us. Chatting, Antakshari, screaming - nothing was barred. Due to low boundaries separating neigbouring houses, often neighbours would also join us in the fun. Similar scenes would be visible on, virtually, every third terrace. It used to be one grand party.

The arrival of pre-monsoon showers would add another dimension to the excitement. While deep in slumber, there would be a sudden onslaught of rain drops. Still not out of their sleeps properly, some would prefer lying down till it would be almost too late(people really take things to the brink). Others, who are always in hurry would run helter-skelter with their meager belongings, as if in half trance. Of course, all those cool dudes would walk easy.

Once safe below the roof, people would blindly lay down almost anywhere. Lucky ones will launch into the beds, some would hang on the sofa, while even the floor wasn't spared. Believe me, in the morning, some sleep walkers don't even remember how come they landed below the sofa, when they should have been sleeping on the terrace.

There was this another breed which use to head back to the terrace if rainfall would stop shortly. On a tricky night, when rain would play such hide-n-seek, this coming-down, going-back business was fun to watch.

Sleeping at terrace was also a good news to the astronomy lovers. The night in the plains is so clear that you can't miss the SaptaRishi or DhruvaTara. I wasn't exactly an astronomy freak, but those extended sessions at the lovely Allahabad Planetarium, inside Anand Bhavan campus, during my visits to that city were of great help(that's another story to relate). Also, my dear friend Manish Mohan, who is an avid astronomy lover, was a great guide to me.

Well, not all this anymore. To seek certain dear things in life, one has to abandon certain other dearer things. Only way to have both the pleasures co-exist is to relive them in memories, just like I did right now. Thank God for the memory.

Snowfall In Lucknow !

It has never happened, and there is no chance in a billion. It doesn't happen in plains. Evryone knows, though it happened in Dubai recently.

But this bright dude in my company asked me if a snowfall ocurred in Lucknow like it happened in J&K recently. Lucknow near J&K ? Not the one which I usually visit.

I no more feel shocked, as I used to do before. I seriously believe that Geography as a subject is higly neglected one in the schools of this part of the country. I guess, my French client had a better sense. He at least knew Lucknow is 'somewhere near TajMahal'.

Incidentally, there is a related debate going on Sarika's blog. I had written similar post Lucknow Is On Mars Pune Is On Venus long time back mentioning similar irritating incidents. Bhagwaan In Sabko Sadbudhdhi De.

Kabul Mein Bhi Gadhey Hote Hain

Lucknow is a city where camaraderie between the neigbours is legendry, so much so, that some people even go to the extent of dumping their own garbage in front of their neighbour's house. 'Mine garbage => your garbage' funda.

It is not that there is no colony sweeper. People, usually put their garbage in front of their house, and sweeper comes and collects it. But due to some inexplicable reason, some people can't help not curbing this irresistible urge.

On this issue, Pune was a refreshing change. Have seen people walking quite a distance to dump their garbage in corporation provided huge dustbins. Though garbage may not exactly go 'inside' it, none the same, it is thereabout. People come even from slums, and even as a late as 10 in the night. That was a real revelation.

But yesterday, it was time for another revelation. I was visiting a hospital in a very posh locality of Pune - Model Colony. From the window of the room I was sitting in, I could clearly see the first floor of the adjoining Bungalow.

It was a huge one, even by Pune's standards, because even those elegant, middle class MIG row houses, found in abundance in Lucknow, are termed as Bunglow over here, and are rare.

A gentleman, who seemed to be in his 50s, was enjoying his breakfast in the balcony. Like the house, he was also huge, and seemed extremely well-to-do type even if he was a tenant at that place. During one of my passing gazes, his behaviour looked a bit queer.

He was making furtive glances, almost like a thief before going for his kill, and between one of those glances he suddenly lifted some thing from his plate, some unfinished stuff probably, and very quickly hurled it across the boundary wall, traveling with the smallest trajectory, crashing bang into hospital campus. Satisfied, he was again back to his normal self, digging into his plate.

I was a bit surprised, as it was relatively unexpected thing to occur, but then I said to myself, that no matter how many good varieties of horses it may boast of, but still Kabul Mein Bhi Gadhey Hote Hain!

Lucknow is on Mars, Pune is on Venus

At least that's the impression I got when I landed over here, five years back.  All those Puneri  junta over there, pardon me  if you feel offended. I myself love Pune ( though not as much as Lucknow :-) ), but I was really shocked to see how little informed general public is over here about the rest of the country. I realized the reason much later.

My sister took admission in XI standard in  a  reputed school on Paud Road. Imagine the questions asked by her classmates for first few weeks. Believe me, all these are real stuff, nothing cooked up.

-  Anchal, are you a Punjabi? Because you usually wear Salwar Kameez
-  Are you a Muslim? Because you are from Lucknow .
-  Are you a Muslim? Because you don't put a bindi/makeup when in  the school.
-  Why,  you don't  put a Gazra , either!
-  Do they sell Jeans and other western outfits in Lucknow?
-  Are there cars and buses running on streets of Lucknow?
.......list goes on.

We use to have great fun discussing these stuff at the end of the day. Initially, she was amused , but later she started getting irritated. It was not before when she moved to standard  XII that these queries subsided. I was not surprised she was the topper at her school both the years .

These were only the kids, the elders topped even them. Just have a look.

- One guy at the PCO asked if Lucknow was near Delhi. To be fair to him, I agreed. It's only 500 KM away.

- This guy at a Photostat shop was confused whether Amitabh Bachhan is from Ahemdabad and whether Allahabad is in Gujrat. I had to break his heart by informing that he was wrong on both the counts.

- One office boy at my workplace actually asked me if there was the Speed Post facility existing in Lucknow. I felt like giving him a mouthful 

- An accounts guy in my office was rudest of all. He teased one of my friends that how come he is from UP and became an engineer. After all in UP, they only do farming. My friend retorted that "Well, I am writing software for the company while  you are distributing salary to us."

- Now comes the icing on the cake. During Census 2001, one middle-aged lady came for collecting the data at my place. I was with some of my friends. She asked for our birth place. When I told Lucknow, she asked me to tell the name of the district rather than the village or small town. I would have not even blinked given my past experience but for the fact that she was a school teacher,  teaching senior secondary students . God save the students ! You don't need an atlas or encyclopedia to know this fact. The then Prime Minister of the country got elected from this constituency! Switch any channel and you will hear the name one day or the other, for good reasons or bad!

Later, I realized that the course content in Mahrashtra Board was the culprit. Only in very good schools with state board or those schools which were affiliated to ICSE or CBSE did the students had the opportunity learn beyond the realms of Maharashtra. Abhinav, Symbiosis, Bishop's, Vincent's etc are such examples. Rest of students were taught mostly about state itself.

This needs to be changed. Bal Thackrey had made this famous remark why not many Maharashtrians are not getting through Civil Services. The reason can be attributed to the dated curriculum of the schools.

Pune ka Traffic

Pune , argubaly has the largest number of two wheelers in Asia. The total number of registered vehicles in the city have by far exceeded Mumbai's. Whole city is smoked and choked. So looking at the traffic woes Pune is facing, these are a few lines which aptly define the situation. Arz kiya hai-

Yeh Bola Pune ke kutte se Gaon ka kutta, Kahan se seekhi tuney ada dum dabane ki,
Dum dabane ko meri Buzdili mat samajh, Kahan hai jagah dum talaq hilane ki!