"What Bloody Buddy ?"

Remember the summers of 1988 ? Remember that cocky Cadet Abhimanyu Rai, Cadet Chauhan, whose Taqiya Kalam was - "I Say Chaps", and was a chain smoker ?

Aha, I see you remember it right. Yes, it was Colonel Kapoor's serial Fauji. Shahrukh Khan's first serial in the troika( Circus and Doosra Kewal being others). The fact that Shahrukh Khan is himself a real life chain smoker is another matter.

Courtesy Ramanand, I came to know about its yet another telecast, this time at Sahara one, which I missed yet another time.

I have fond memories of Fauji - the crew cut, the uniform, the discipline, and the breaking of that discipline. Abhimanyu's crush for saanwli saloni Dr Madhu, on whom he had crash landed while paratrooping(or it was the vice versa?), Parmveer Singh Chauhan's ankhe chaar with a lady during a party, and Cadet Peter's secretly smuggling of his girlfriend Cynthia into the campus.

Then there was this stern-at-exterior-but-soft-at-heart elder brother of Shahrukh - Vikram, who keeps on hurtling stiff training and punishments at Abhimanyu, and falls for General's daughter. Shahrukh Khan has his own revenge when he indirectly calls the poking Vikram a kebab mein haddi while eating kebab with Madhu at a party. Pun was intended.

Immensely popular cadet 'I Say Chaps' Chauhan was shown as lost and dead in the battle, causing many a sad hearts, only to return during the end of the serial with his trademark "I Say Chaps".

I particularly liked that dark, big mustached commando trainer, who at the end of every training drill would bark - "Koi Sawal ?", and when someone actually ask, he would again bark - "Mujhey Woh Log Pasand Hain Jo Sawal Nahin Poonchtey!", of course, without answering.

It was a very well written serial, or though same can't be said about direction.

But this post is not about Fauji, but about my Physical Training(PT) teacher who was a retired navy personnel - Mr Kushwaha.

He was a brusque middle aged man, with a hoarse voice, probably due to much shouting in his previous profession. His many voyages in sea had taken a severe toll on his skin, which clearly had many Sun burned patches.

He was a no-nonsense man, a disciplinarian with a touch of humour. But like a typical sailor, his language was gone for a toss, more so his Hindi. He spoke similar to Bombaiyya Hindi, which was a shocker for us in school and due to his military background, mild profanity had become part his Lingua Franca, which was even more shocker.

Once he pronounced, "Agar Tum Sab Shor Karega To Sabke Buttocks(Hindi) Per Ek Padega". Even the giggling girls and guffawing boys couldn't make him realize what he had spoken in the classroom.

One such event took place, when influenced by the "Buddy" concept in Fauji, one of the students asked him, who was his buddy in Navy. Since this "Buddy" thing was fictional, and evidently sir didn't watch the piece of fiction called Fauji, he barked in his usual fashion - "What Bloody Buddy?" The question died the death it deserved.

Another instance, when we were having a PT Class in the school quadrangle, it so happened that Kushwaha sir's fly got unzipped. Of course, everyone noticed it and all were laughing non-stop, and he didn't know why. I too couldn't myself stop laughing, but with some courage went up to him and spoke in his style.

Me(laughing): "Sir, Ek Baat Kahein, Aap Maarega To Nahin?"
Sir(coming to me and says politely): " Nahin Marega, Bolo".
Me(laughing): "Sir, Aapka Zip Khula Hai".
Sir(looks down, smile sheepishly, while fixing the problem): "Koi Baat Nahin Beta, Ho Jata Hai. Thank You."

Reflecting now, the incident doesn't seem as funny as it was that time, but then it was a differen age and era altogether.

Needless to say, his career in my school was pretty brief.