Bunty Aur Bubbly

"Bunty Aur Bubbly comes to town..."

Waiting for this movie for more than six months now, ever since I first heard about it.

Ok, it might turn out to be a big let down like Kaal, or just be so so like Lucky. Still, expectations run sky high. Promos are rocking with Amitabh Bachhan's rap video. Both Bunty and Bubbly are looking hot together. Yesterday, they were reading news bulletin. MTV Bakra is doing round. All in all, a fun look is there to the movie.

The other reason is those "dusty" towns of my home state where it has been shot. Well, dusty they might be to others, but they are where I belong to. I love those smells because that brings a lot of memory. So this would be a nostalgia movie for me.

The unfortunate part is that though these two are in the town, I am still not able to secure a ticket for myself. Never mind, will go for a black, if I would.

Kanpuriya Charms

During my four year stay in Kanpur, I never saw many girls on the street. Not even in the cinema halls, barring Heer Palace, the best cine theatre in Kanpur at that time.

That always disappointed us bachelors because our college campus was even worse off in this regard. People now tell me that post Rave(Kanpur's first Multiplex-cum-Mall) scene is much better.

But when you realize that five ex-cricketers' soulmates are Kanpur girls, you wonder where are the girls hiding ? Even Kanpurites don't seem to know. Sunil Gavaskar, Lala Amarnath, Bishen Singh Bedi of India, Zaheer Abbas of Pakistan, and Alan Turner of Australia have a Kanpuriya wives.

Sunil has a Christian wife; Lala, Bishen and Zaheer have Punjabi wives while Alan's wife is a Sikh. Not only that, Bob Woolmer was born here, and in the same hospital Sunny's Rohan was also born.

Well done Kanpur! You have contributed to Cricket, if not directly, then in the family way.

Corrigendum: As it turned out, I messed up with the names. It was Glen Turner of NewZealand instead of Alan Turner of Australia. Thanks to Master Mind winner Ramanand for correcting me there.

It's Ok To Be Naughty Sometimes

The incident dates back to my college days. The beautiful IIT campus at Kanpur is situated almost out of the city limits. From IIT gate, the hostel and academic area is further 3 km inside.

Whenever we use to go for a late night movie show, it used to be a big trouble getting back after midnight. It required a lot of haggling to convince tempo drivers for dropping us at the campus because they won't get return passengers at such late hours.

Some of them would only drop us at IIT gate, not to our hostels to avoid hassles with security guys at the institute. Still these guys were much better than those crook-turned-autowallahs in Pune, whose half-return-fares start from as early as 10pm, more so if one is unfortunate and poor enough to reside in some far flung corner of the city.

That night, we had gone for a lavish marwari dinner at the very kanpuriya, Manish Kankani's place. The food prepared by aunty, bhabhi and didi was brilliant and sumptuous. Servings were generous, and to add to that, we had to also follow the typical marwari diktat of not leaving even a tiny scrap of food on our plates.

It was already very late and the place, RatanLal Nagar was at another corner of the city. Our loaded-to-the-brim tummies made walking very tedious. After much effort we found a rare tempo ready to take us to IIT gate, but not up to our hostels. With our condition, walking three kilometers was impossible therefore, we pleaded, cajoled, cried but the driver refused to budge.

Since beggars can't be choosers, all fourteen of us hopped in. But Kankani had a plan. Just after half a km, Kankani and Anant Mishra, the biggest pranksters in our group started acting as if they were very heavily drunk. Soon the rest of us followed. Following is the sample conversation which was used, lavishly punctuated by mild profanities.

Speaker 1: "Daru Ne Sara Mood Kharab Kar Diya Yaar. Agar Aaj Kisi Faltoo Ne Panga Liya To Tangey Tod Doonga Uski!" (The drink has spoilt the whole mood. Anyone who messes with me,I am going to break his legs tonight)

Speaker 2: "Sirf Tangey Tod Dogey? Abey Mai To Tangey Hi Nahin, Hanth, Khopadi, Kamar - Sab Tod Phod Daloonga" (Only the legs? I would break ALL of his bones from top to the bottom, my dear fella)

Speaker 3: "Ek Baat Mai Bhi Bata Doon. Agar Aaj Is Tempo Wale Ne Zara Si Bhi Bakaiti Dikhai, Kasam Se Woh Haal Karoonga Ki Dobara Kisi IIT Ke Launde Ko Tempo Per Nahin Baithaiga" (Let me also add something. If this tempo driver tries to act smart today, I am gonna give him such a sound thrashing that he won't ever drive an IITian to the campus again)

Speaker 1: "Aur Bhaisaab, Kahin Usney Galti Se Bhi Kiraya Maang Liya - To Tum Log Mujhey Rokna Mat. Maartey Maartey Gadar Kaat Doonga" (And if this fellow dared to ask for the fare, hope you fellas don't stop me. I am going to run havoc on him for his misadventure)

Speaker 2: "Abey Chahey Aaaj Diro Bhi Aa Jai. Isko Chhodna Nahin Hai. Bahut Mood Kharab Kar Raha Tha" (Even if the Director turns up, we are not going to leave this guy)

The conversation was reaching loud and clear to the driver. His face had turned ashen, and he panicked too soon. Two of the group who were sitting in front seat along with him were trying hard to hide their giggles. They explained to him that though these guys are badly drunk, they mean no harm. The driver was not entirely convinced.

We kept on doing this for whole journey, and eventually IIT gate arrived. The driver didn't even look to stop at there. He had changed his mind long back. He was determined to drop us safely at our hostels. Unfortunately for the driver, the two not-so-drunk guys at the front alighted near the Computer Center(CC).

He begged them to continue on to the hostel and then he would drop them back at CC. They assured him that there is a guy called Manish Chauhan, who was not drunk and would pay him the full fare. But by the time we reached Hall-III gate, he didn't have the courage to ask for the money. His unscathed return from the campus was his top priority.

Rest of the guys went away shouting and laughing. When I approached him with the money, he couldn't believe it. I thanked him for dropping us till the hostel. Though he did say that pleasure was all his, I am bloody sure he won't have ever taken another ride to IIT campus.

And we were laughing our guts out at the brilliant, albeit naughty idea. That's the hostel life for you.

Nightmare for Bunty & Bubbly

Shaad Ali, the director of Sathiya, and son of director Muzzafar Ali, has been shooting for his next venture Bunty & Bubbly , starring Abhishek Bachhan, and Rani Mukherjee. His father is based in Lucknow, while his mother, CPM leader Suhasini Ali, is based in Kanpur.

The movie itself is based in various cities of Uttar Pradesh. So far so good. But since Shaad is bred under Muzaffar Ali and Mani Ratnam( he was his assistant) school of direction, he yearns for realism in his movies. That's why Sathiya was so refreshing. Therefore, he decided to do shooting in Uttar Pradesh, itself.

That, I thought was highly adventurous, especially when Kanpur was one of the locations. Deepa Mehta'sWater ran into problems because of VHPs and Shiv Saniks in Varanasi. A case is running against in Kanpur Dehat against the crew of Lazza. These self-styled preachers always poke their nose in such matters.

Then, there is no limit of unemployed, frustrated hoodlums and mischief mongers. They simply won't allow shooting to happen. That's exactly what happened. Public pelted stones at the actors, local media misbehaved, Abhishek Bachhan's pocket was picked by a thief. Kanpur is symptomatic of the degrading culture and rowdism in the cities of Uttar Pradesh, due to unemployment, and exodus of creamy layer.

Lucknow somehow, remains an exception. The shooting of Gadar, was largely incident free. Still, gone are the days of those nafasat, nazatak and tehzeeb when scores of movies like Umarao Jan, Mere Mehboob, Mehboob ki Mehndi, Palki etc were shot in Lucknow.

Shaad will do well to eschew his homely love, and stay clear of at least Kanpur. That is if he wants his movie to finish in time.